February is a cold, heartless month. 

Surrounded yet another year by cheesy slogans and sappy commercials, my ex might have been right.  Valentine’s Day just might be a conspiracy between the card companies, the florists and the chocolatiers.

Isn’t it kind of dumb to assign love to one month….one day?  What… you are supposed to treat someone casually for 364 days and then on that one day…..make up for it?

Valentine’s Day is only perfect for certain people at certain times.  If you score a date with a great new guy a month before Valentine’s day….ka—ching!  You can expect gifts, dinner and great wine.  I think guys are actually relieved to have a new girlfriend on the big day.  We are so easily impressed.

Other wise, singles hate Valentine’s Day because they are still single.  Married women hate it because it is never like it once was.  Men hate it because no matter what they do their woman is never satisfied.  And of course kids hate it because one, they didn’t get as many valentine’s as the popular kid and two, there’s a lot of pouting going on around the house.  I told you…February is a cold and heartless month!

If Valentine’s day sucks for you again this year and a part of you still longs to be with someone or to be really loved by your man.  I can help you.  Don’t give up.  Here are three ways to get past this inflated day and feel better:

1.  Give funny Valentine’s cards to 6 people who wouldn’t expect one from you.  People like your postman, UPS guy, Starbuck’s Barista, school bus driver or bank teller, people who you see everyday who serve you in some way.  Sweeten the pot by adding a lottery ticket.  Sure to bring a smile.

2.  Treat yourself to a spa treatment. Get a massage or mani/pedi in a massage chair.  My clients complain that they are not getting enough physical attention, you know what I mean?  You don’t need a boyfriend to massage your shoulders.  You can often get great rates on massage at a massage school in your town.  Check it out.

3.  Get involved with a charitable outreach of some kind. My hubby and I volunteer at the cat shelter to socialize the kittens and get them ready for adoption.  I love it.  I get to play with kittens, hold them and love them.  I also get to see the looks on the faces of the families who adopt them.  There is a lot of love to give and get in any kind of volunteerism.  The very best way to bring love closer.

How do I celebrate Valentine’s day?  My sweetie and I share a lot of romance during the year.  We have done the expensive dinners and the champagne by the fireplace.  This year we are going to an art show and a concert matinee.  We exchange small gifts and celebrate our finding one another.  I feel so lucky to have drawn this wonderful man into my life.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I hear from a lot of single baby boomers.

The stories they tell me are filled with drama and inexplicable misfortune and yet…they still believe in LOVE.  Against all odds, these wonderful, gifted, precious people hang on to the dream that their TRUE LOVE is out there somewhere….waiting to be found.

If that is you….I believe in you and in your dream. So, dear reader….if you want to know how the Universe can serve you in your search, here are some practical steps:

1.  You have to get clear on what you want. I can’t tell you how many people I talk to have a devil of a time telling me what it is they want in a partner.  Take some time and allow yourself to explore exactly what your life will be like when HE or SHE is here.  Where will you go to eat?  What will you do on Friday nights?  Be detailed.  Dream.  Create an your ideal relationship and write it down.  The Law of Attraction is waiting for you to get clear on what you want!

2.  You have to take action. Being honest with yourself about your fears and doubts about creating a sustainable relationship is crucial.  Sometimes it is painful to let your desires have full expression.  The fear that it might not happen can squelch your power to attract the very thing you so desperately desire.  There are countless tools available to address past disappointments.  Try using Google.  Type:  “How can I get over my past relationships so I can meet my soul mate?” into the search window.  You will be amazed at the resources that are available to you.

3.  You have to get out of your house. Join something.  Anything.  I am currently going to a wonderful meditation class weekly.  The people there are an interesting crowd.  It is small, usually no more than 7 or 8 people but the connections are sweet and soul satisfying.  Today, one woman was cleaning up and purging a lot of her stuff…another woman there needed the EXACT stuff she was getting rid of.  An exchange of phone numbers followed.  One woman’s trash…..anothers treasure!  You never know who you will meet when you choose to go somewhere.  Could your soul mate be there?  Maybe.  Or could be someone there has a brother or cousin who is your next contact.

4.  You have to embrace exploration and experiment with who crosses your path. I had a fabulous conversation with Siona van Dyjk about on line dating.  She had such a refreshing perspective.  She loves the on line dating experience because it allowed her to explore the dating landscape.  She set up simple coffee dates and used the meetings to pick men’s brains about their take on the whole dating scene.  She didn’t need the prospects to be “The One.”  In fact, when that element was taken off the table, she genuinely enjoyed the men she met!  Now she is engaged.  Sweet.  To hear the interview, click here: http://www.attractyoursoulmatenow.com/siona-van-dyjk-interview/

5.  Just Do It. The Universe…Source….Divine….whatever you call that which is undefinable, is waiting for you to ask.  Create a journal just for asking for what you want.  Don’t worry about your wording.  Don’t try to be perfect.  Just write from your heart.  Tell the Universe what you want and be clear and precise.  Amazing things happen when you get specific and let yourself want what you want.  I believe that when a vision for your future comes into your mind that you have the creative power to make that happen.  Stay true to those desires and follow your intuitive leanings.  Get out and meet people.  Stay focused on what you desire and be alert to the “coincidences” that are sure to follow.

There you have it.  The desire of your heart is leading you surely and steadily to an amazing series of events that will delight you. If you end up at a rest stop now and then, that is ok.  Just make sure to get back out there as soon as you are ready!  There is some real magic available…just you wait and see!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I love to flirt on the golf course.

It feels really good, extra good for some reason, to have a man’s attention and appreciation on the golf course.  Even though I am married to my golfer and ADORE my time on the golf course with him, (I am still flirtier with him  on the course than anywhere else!)  I still enjoy the attention of men who notice my presence on the course.

Yes, I have a good swing and a fairly good game but even though I haven’t played much lately and my skills are a bit rusty, my higher scores have not impacted the male attention I get at all.  In fact, there is satisfaction in golf on many levels and score is only one.  (A quick comic recovery from an embarrassing shot is one of my secret flirting weapons.)

Now there are some WRONG WAYS to flirt. If your attempts to attract a guy’s attention on the course fall flat as the proverbial pancake, read on.  Men are hyper sensitive to the“I Must Meet Him Now” mindset and any flirting coming from that direction is doomed to failure.

If that is you, try on a new perspective in your search for a soul mate on the golf course.  Yes, he might be out there today, playing three holes ahead of you, destined to hold the door open for you when you finish your round.  But there is an equally intriguing possibility that someone there has a cousin or brother that you need to meet.  Law of Attraction will faithfully draw people to you for reasons you don’t see til you look backwards!

Golf is a uniquely powerful gateway to personal confidence and a woman who is confident in herself is undeniably attractive. Getting a flirty attention feels exquisite and there are so few women out there, you might want to consider any previous ideas about yourself and golf and explore the possibilities.

In golf there is the keenly excruciating opportunity for public embarrassment.  Anyone who has left three shots in the bunker, launched a tee shot into the pond or missed a putt from less than a foot knows exactly what I am talking about. BUT, I just got home from the range and there were easily FIFTY men practicing for FIVE women. Ladies, we have to get over ourselves!

If your golf confidence barely has a pulse, you will only attract the smart ass good old boys who LOVE to lampoon lady golfers. If you complain that there are no genuine guys out there, stop and ask yourself, why is this jerk bothering me.  Chances are his attitude reminds you of someone in your past who disregarded or discounted you.  No wonder you don’t like to hang out there.  I don’t blame you.

If these maddening mishaps keep you away from the game, I recommend you re-evaluate your experience with golf.  Look at it this way:  three out of four golfers are men.  There are great looking, professional, active and passionate single men congregating in large groups on a regular basis….possibly within five miles of your home.

Feeling inspired?  Ready to take action? Here’s your How To Flirt On The Golf Course Game Plan:

1.    Get a putting lesson. One on one instruction is terrific, but you will find that group lessons are great ways to meet people to practice and play with.  Lots of driving ranges offer short game clinics right in your area.

2.    Take action to increase your self confidence on the golf course. Read Golf is Not A Game Of Perfect by Dr. Bob Rotella or Zen Golf by Joseph Parent.  Want faster results?  Find a life coach who you enjoy and set your intention to double or triple your self confidence this summer.

3.    Get Out There And Flirt: Once you get some new skills to practice, it costs nothing to show up at your neighborhood golf course on the weekends with your putter and spend an hour on the putting green.  Believe me, you will be noticed and flirting opportunities abound!  Let it flow and enjoy the attention!  You deserve it!

I received this email message today and wanted to share it with all of you!!

It is amazing what is possible when a woman gets her head and her heart on the same path!

Hi Cat,

I don’t know where to begin !!! But on October 24th, I started going to the swing dance society … remember how much fun I have dancing?

Well, I met a man who was so sweet I asked him to dance with me. The Universe had been at work on all angles and behind the scenes and my life has been completely changed!

OMG, remember how I have been so happy just being single, getting to know me and all that good stuff … I am way beyond that right now and am having the time in my life.

He and I seem to be such a good match so far. Don’t really know where all this leads to but he’s originally from here in Ottawa, but is now retired, living in Kentucky and spends half the time in Colorado, where he works for his nephew for a whitewater rafting/outdoors supplies company, then visits Ottawa once a year.

Cat, I’d never thought this was going to happen so soon, but this man seems to fit the “script” I’ve been writing about!!! The one thing even more interesting is that he is 15 years older than I am and yet we’re at the same intellectual level, spiritually he is way ahead of me as he’s been in that world for over 30 years.

So I have so much to learn yet. He even sings and plays the guitar!!! That’s just a bonus actually, but is so endearing to me in a big way;)

He soooo GETS ME!!! It’s so easy to be with him and we’re just so in tune with each other. We even found out that we lived in each other’s neighbourhoods at different times, so there was really no way for us to meet beforehand … just close enough to even bump into each other at grocery stores!

There’s so much more I would like to share with you … but I am just as high as a kite right now!!!

Yeah, that first kiss was well worth the wait … he’s such a wonderful man and I can’t wait to introduce him to you. I actually gave him the link to the recording that you did for me!!! He’s so interested in my world, my boys seem to be taken too and soon, we’ll be on a different level.

I’m so excited about this whole new adventure … I’ve never felt this way before with any of my ex’s, and I am so lucky to be feeling this way at this stage in my life.

Patience was all I had … I knew that I was getting close. I was refining my list and just before meeting him, I had said to myself that my script was so good and “I am sooo worth it”!!!

We’re so connected at a level no one has ever been with me. He helps me keep grounded, while both of us are feeling so high.

Your work is amazing … you could certainly use me as your testimonial!!!

Celebrating love with you,
Belita

If you feel your Love Set Point may just be set too low, go to Reset Your Love Set Point right away and follow the steps!

From The E Mail Bag

Andreya writes: “I do want to be with my body/mind/soulmate. I don’t remember being abandoned by girlfriends while I was dating someone nor when I broke up with him. I found my girlfirends most supportive. This was true for boyfriends and when I divorced…..

I have long-term male and female friends, friendships lasting decades. I am visiting a guy friend and his family as well as a single friend for two weeks each on my trip to California….

AND, I am still single and would prefer to be with my body/mind/soulmate. (I want it all.)”

Hi Andreya,

Thanks for your post. I admire your ability to sustain lasting relationships for so many years. It is comforting to have a host of supporters…like the cell phone commercial! Even though you have wonderful friends, there is no doubt that what you want (to meet men who could be that Soul Mate) is not measuring up to what is happening (you are only meeting men who do not qualify or you are not meeting new and interesting men at all).

What I do know for sure from my work with highly successful women who are not with the man ideally suited to them for a long term relationship, is that they are not aware of the image they are projecting to the world.

Most are stunned to realize that they are projecting an “I’m not available” image. Not only that, little do they know that this image or vibe is amazingly efficient at keeping the “right” type of man out of their experience.

How do I know this to be true? Exactly, how many prospects with real potential have you dated in the last year? I rest my case!

If you think you might be sending out this “I love being single” vibe when you want to be sending a “I’m ready for a man with substance ” vibe, it is wise to look deep within your heart to see what is behind your singleness.

One way to approach this is to take a few days to compile a list of all the best parts about your life right now. What are the advantages of being single? While you might not come up with many at first, if you work on this for a couple of days, you may surprise yourself. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide mindfully whether or not you are negotiable on it.

This self reflection may be just what the doctor ordered in helping you discover why you are still single. If you still don’t see yourself as unapproachable, ask a close friend to go through your list with you. Her view of your current state of affairs or lack of (sorry, couldn’t resist) may add extra dimension to your self inquiry.

Once you unearth the root to your singleness, you will have one of two outcomes. One, you may indeed embrace your singleness with new passion as it IS life affirming for you or two, you will find yourself in the right place and the right time more often where you will cross paths with many more interesting and available men!

Talk about a win-win!

Good luck to you, Andreya!

Catherine

Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you like to feel more loved and cherished?  Maybe your Love Set Point is set too low.   Click here for a complimentary Love Set Point Consultation.