Secretly, she never did like those dwarves.

Over the years, she even secretly named them.   Whiney, Negative, Complacent, Unmotivated, Stubborn, Naive and Annoying.  Resentment was a constant battle.  She was such a sweet thing and didn’t get angry very often and she really enjoyed helping them….part of the time.  But, she never felt appreciated at the deepest level.  When they hi-hoed-hi-hoed and off to work they went….she took care of that whole household….with no electric appliances.  The end of the day came and her to do list was never done. The next day all she had was the same routine…..again.

How do you tell if you are a Snow White? Maybe you are a Scarlett O’Hara, Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty. Everyone has a Self Sabotage Style, I call them True Love Saboteurs and I find four types.  Snow Whites are lovely women.  They are kind, generous to a fault, reliable and faithful as apple pie.   They crave financial security and yet are chronic under-earners.  They strongly believe that their service to others will give them the connection they are hungry for.  Most have no idea what True Love really feels like so their love magnetism is scattered and confusing.

Because The True Love Saboteur’s only task is to make sure your beliefs are supported and stay true, this is a powerful energy source with in you. She is truly a master.  It is tangible proof of the power of focus.  You believe Love is hard and that it is impossible to find a good match….your Saboteur makes sure that happens.

How do I know?  You are still single.  No matter how desperately you want a partner, it is not happening.  Your Saboteur is working overtime, underneath the radar, supporting the belief that trusting a man again will be too devastating to handle. For many Snow Whites, the stomach clenching fear about what will happen if the next man is not the one, is enough to unconsciously opt for singleness.

In fact, most Snow White’s have taken steps to move on from the past and recognize what they have been doing is not working.  Many of them are out of touch, perhaps numb, to the inner turmoil.  Like ashes after a forest fire, there is emotional residue cluttering up the Inner Landscape.  A part of you is terrified that you will not find someone.  Your Saboteur is doing everything it can to make sure you don’t feel how afraid you are.

What’s the solution?  The first step is to check in to see if Snow White’s Saboteur Style fits:

How To Recognize Snow White:

• Doesn’t enjoy social events where there are mostly couples.
• Allows schedule to fill with lots of activity but not much substance.
• Needs to feel validated, almost manic about being right.
• A tender spot for animals.  Some feel their soul mate is their pet.
• Holds a grudge, hard to let go of disappointment.
• Hard to say no.  Feels sucked into things she doesn’t want to do.
• Had a very strong imagination as a young child.
• Her friends see her as sweet and kind though at some level, she doesn’t get that.

The second step is easy.  If you feel you might have a True Love Saboteur underneath your relationship radar, just click the link below and we can set up a complimentary consultation. I can show you if your Saboteur is activated and how much control she has over your love life.

XOXOXOXOXO

Want an instant reading of YOUR magnetism? http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and see how strong your Love Vibe is right now!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

February is a cold, heartless month. 

Surrounded yet another year by cheesy slogans and sappy commercials, my ex might have been right.  Valentine’s Day just might be a conspiracy between the card companies, the florists and the chocolatiers.

Isn’t it kind of dumb to assign love to one month….one day?  What… you are supposed to treat someone casually for 364 days and then on that one day…..make up for it?

Valentine’s Day is only perfect for certain people at certain times.  If you score a date with a great new guy a month before Valentine’s day….ka—ching!  You can expect gifts, dinner and great wine.  I think guys are actually relieved to have a new girlfriend on the big day.  We are so easily impressed.

Other wise, singles hate Valentine’s Day because they are still single.  Married women hate it because it is never like it once was.  Men hate it because no matter what they do their woman is never satisfied.  And of course kids hate it because one, they didn’t get as many valentine’s as the popular kid and two, there’s a lot of pouting going on around the house.  I told you…February is a cold and heartless month!

If Valentine’s day sucks for you again this year and a part of you still longs to be with someone or to be really loved by your man.  I can help you.  Don’t give up.  Here are three ways to get past this inflated day and feel better:

1.  Give funny Valentine’s cards to 6 people who wouldn’t expect one from you.  People like your postman, UPS guy, Starbuck’s Barista, school bus driver or bank teller, people who you see everyday who serve you in some way.  Sweeten the pot by adding a lottery ticket.  Sure to bring a smile.

2.  Treat yourself to a spa treatment. Get a massage or mani/pedi in a massage chair.  My clients complain that they are not getting enough physical attention, you know what I mean?  You don’t need a boyfriend to massage your shoulders.  You can often get great rates on massage at a massage school in your town.  Check it out.

3.  Get involved with a charitable outreach of some kind. My hubby and I volunteer at the cat shelter to socialize the kittens and get them ready for adoption.  I love it.  I get to play with kittens, hold them and love them.  I also get to see the looks on the faces of the families who adopt them.  There is a lot of love to give and get in any kind of volunteerism.  The very best way to bring love closer.

How do I celebrate Valentine’s day?  My sweetie and I share a lot of romance during the year.  We have done the expensive dinners and the champagne by the fireplace.  This year we are going to an art show and a concert matinee.  We exchange small gifts and celebrate our finding one another.  I feel so lucky to have drawn this wonderful man into my life.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Angelique closed her sketch pad and stretched lazily. Her cat, stood up and arched her back in a stretch of her own.  She walked to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and paused, like always, gazing at the faded photo framed in the hallway.

It had been 20 years and still she ached.  She lived that day again and again.

She had gotten up a little earlier than normal and took her routine run on the beach.  Tony had been in London for a month working on an IT project and she couldn’t wait to have him home.  He had proposed a week before he left and they were getting ready to move in together.

Angelique had planned the perfect welcome home dinner. Reservations had been made at The Boulevard, trendiest new restaraunt in town.  His new Tag Heuer wrapped in white paper with a gold ribbon.  He had been salivating over it for a year.  She smiled to herself, feeling the warmth in her chest as she thought of the look on his face when he opened it.  How was she going to make it through the day?

Fortunately, she had a major project to work on and had a deadline.  Angelique adored her mentor and working on the new line for the spring season was thrilling for her.  A gifted prodigy, she had been designing clothing since cutting and pasting scraps of magazine pictures for her paper dolls.  Graduation was coming and she had a position with a major design house in the city.  The future was bright and when Tony popped the question that night, it looked like every dream was coming true.

Though it was hard to concentrate, she did get her final sketches in to the director on time and ran out to her car. As usual, she had scheduled every minute leading up to the dinner.  Tony was planning to come to the restaraunt directly from the airport and she only had two hours to get her mani/pedicure and get home to get ready.  The beautiful blue dress, one of her own designs, had been hanging on the closet door for a week, her new gold pumps sitting prominently on the dresser.

She had missed him terribly.  They were true soul mates.  Tony was perfect.  She knew from the moment they met that he was the one.  They did everything together, when they were together.  He was ten years older and had a successful IT business.  World wide travel was a part of his life and when she was finished with school, she planned to travel with him to the fashion capitals of the world.  She adored him.

When she finally arrived at The Boulevard, she looked perfect. The wait staff knew them well and had given her the corner table where he had proposed just over a month ago.  She placed his gift in front of his place and ordered a bottle of their favorite Cabernet.  The sommelier poured her a glass and heart pounding, she took a deep breath and tried to relax.  He was due in half an hour.

8:30 came and went.  Angelique nervously looked at her watch.  She picked up her cell phone and called him again. No answer.  He always called when he was going to be late.  Her stomach ached with anxiety.  Where was he?

“Miss Martinez?”  She glanced up and her heart froze. Two police officers approached her, hats in their hands. “No, no!”  She screamed.  The other diners fell into silence as the officers began to speak to her quietly.  Helping her out of the restaraunt and into their car, she collapsed in tears.

The next few  days were a blur.  Angelique, numb with grief, couldn’t process all of the details.  Small plane down.  No survivors.  Tony had missed his flight and wanted to be with her for her birthday and had hired a private plane to get there in time.  So like him, not wanting to disappoint her.  She had no memory of the funeral and no idea how she survived.  A part of her died that day.

Stroking his cheek in the faded photograph, her heart still squeezed tight when she thought about him.  Lonely as she was, she couldn’t imagine another man filling his shoes.  Sighing deeply, she mindlessly measured the coffee into the filter and poured the water in the reservoir.

Now, at 42, Angelique had been thinking about having kids again. Dreams of being a mom were happening regularly and she wondered if it was still possible for her.  She had no shortage of men who had been interested in her.  Five broken engagements were scattered throughout the last 20 years.  No one was like Tony.  No one could ever touch her heart like that again.  Sighing deeply, she carried her coffee out to the deck.

*************************************************************************************************************

Bless our romantic hearts.  Why, I don’t know, but  many of us carry fantasies of love for years and those fantasies can control us if we are not careful. I believe that we have more than one soul mate.  In fact, I am sure of it.  My first soul mate, my college sweetheart, was the light of my life.  We were ridiculously attracted to one another.  Both under twenty, those feelings of love were not to be denied.

We married, as did most of our friends, right after college and had many happy years.  Our children became our focus and we went through the steps of life the very best we could.  I adored him.  When things started to fall apart, I was devastated.  Now, years later, I am remarried and deeply appreciate how life has unfolded with this second chance at love.

What do you think?  What would you say to Angelique?

I love to flirt on the golf course.

It feels really good, extra good for some reason, to have a man’s attention and appreciation on the golf course.  Even though I am married to my golfer and ADORE my time on the golf course with him, (I am still flirtier with him  on the course than anywhere else!)  I still enjoy the attention of men who notice my presence on the course.

Yes, I have a good swing and a fairly good game but even though I haven’t played much lately and my skills are a bit rusty, my higher scores have not impacted the male attention I get at all.  In fact, there is satisfaction in golf on many levels and score is only one.  (A quick comic recovery from an embarrassing shot is one of my secret flirting weapons.)

Now there are some WRONG WAYS to flirt. If your attempts to attract a guy’s attention on the course fall flat as the proverbial pancake, read on.  Men are hyper sensitive to the“I Must Meet Him Now” mindset and any flirting coming from that direction is doomed to failure.

If that is you, try on a new perspective in your search for a soul mate on the golf course.  Yes, he might be out there today, playing three holes ahead of you, destined to hold the door open for you when you finish your round.  But there is an equally intriguing possibility that someone there has a cousin or brother that you need to meet.  Law of Attraction will faithfully draw people to you for reasons you don’t see til you look backwards!

Golf is a uniquely powerful gateway to personal confidence and a woman who is confident in herself is undeniably attractive. Getting a flirty attention feels exquisite and there are so few women out there, you might want to consider any previous ideas about yourself and golf and explore the possibilities.

In golf there is the keenly excruciating opportunity for public embarrassment.  Anyone who has left three shots in the bunker, launched a tee shot into the pond or missed a putt from less than a foot knows exactly what I am talking about. BUT, I just got home from the range and there were easily FIFTY men practicing for FIVE women. Ladies, we have to get over ourselves!

If your golf confidence barely has a pulse, you will only attract the smart ass good old boys who LOVE to lampoon lady golfers. If you complain that there are no genuine guys out there, stop and ask yourself, why is this jerk bothering me.  Chances are his attitude reminds you of someone in your past who disregarded or discounted you.  No wonder you don’t like to hang out there.  I don’t blame you.

If these maddening mishaps keep you away from the game, I recommend you re-evaluate your experience with golf.  Look at it this way:  three out of four golfers are men.  There are great looking, professional, active and passionate single men congregating in large groups on a regular basis….possibly within five miles of your home.

Feeling inspired?  Ready to take action? Here’s your How To Flirt On The Golf Course Game Plan:

1.    Get a putting lesson. One on one instruction is terrific, but you will find that group lessons are great ways to meet people to practice and play with.  Lots of driving ranges offer short game clinics right in your area.

2.    Take action to increase your self confidence on the golf course. Read Golf is Not A Game Of Perfect by Dr. Bob Rotella or Zen Golf by Joseph Parent.  Want faster results?  Find a life coach who you enjoy and set your intention to double or triple your self confidence this summer.

3.    Get Out There And Flirt: Once you get some new skills to practice, it costs nothing to show up at your neighborhood golf course on the weekends with your putter and spend an hour on the putting green.  Believe me, you will be noticed and flirting opportunities abound!  Let it flow and enjoy the attention!  You deserve it!

I love when the snow finally starts to melt and beautiful greens of every hue begin to shine in the sun, the air warms up, parkas give over to sweaters and everyone is friendly….even the crabby ones! Maybe that is why LOVE and ROMANCE feel so very good in the Spring.

Not only do your senses have a huge influx of long absent sights and smells, which always improves your disposition, you attract more positive people into your life and your connection to others  intensifies. When I see Michelle and Barack holding hands and publicly declaring their bond, I don’t know about you but I WANT SOME OF THAT!

My husband and I are a great couple. I love and respect him more every day. However. Did you hear a ‘however’ coming? Well, here it is and it is a big one. However, when I choose TO HAVE A DEEPER AND MORE ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM, there is one little problem.  Me.

I have to open MY heart and allow MYSELF to go one more step toward intimacy. I have to adjust myself to LET MORE LOVE IN.

Yikes.

Wouldn’t it be nice if he could just read my mind! What if he could magically know exactly what I want and need from him and I never had to ask for anything! Ha! I have been practicing the “If He Loved Me, He Would Know How I Feel” belief for years, now that I look at it, I have been practicing that belief with everybody and I never knew it.

I WANT what Michelle has. I want to hold myself securely in ALL THAT I AM, cute little warts and all, and command the respect and devotion of not only my hubby, but of all  the people in my life. Imagine how YOUR life would change if you had the magnetism to motivate your man to risk the heartless press corps and hyper-critical public opinion and take YOU to the theatre. I don’t know about you but that is mighty impressive.

I want that. I WANT TO DRAMATICALLY INTENSIFY MY PERSONAL MAGNETISM TO MY HUSBAND.  I want to be IRRESISTABLE to him and attract his most loving and affectionate self!  In order to get there, I have to use parts of myself that are very underdeveloped.  Just like committing  to the gym, I am going to stretch, strengthen and build my inner resources so that I can fully express myself with ease and grace and STRENGTHEN THE POWERFUL ATTRACTION THAT BROUGHT US TOGETHER IN THE FIRST PLACE.

While I am in training, I know I may stumble a bit, step on some toes and mismanage an encounter or two awkwardly, but I am choosing to let myself be a beginner in all of this and move forward no matter what happens.  I have a picture of Michelle and Barack on my bathroom mirror.  I look at how HE looks at her and I steel my resolve and commitment to stir up MY soul mate magnetism and get me some of that!!!

Thanks Michelle!

Want to work with me while I work out?  Join the http://SoulMateMastermind.com and get the Michelle Effect for yourself!

She watched him walk away as she sipped the last of her pinot noir, his words echoing in her mind. “Someday you will have to open up and let a man in, you know.” He seemed terrific at first glance, good looking, well dressed, intelligent and funny. There was enough chemistry to keep her interested… at first.

As the evening wore down though, she went through her usual inner dialog:

“He’s got to have baggage”.

“No one can look that good and be a honest guy.”

“Only bad boys come in gorgeous packages.”

“I wonder why he is still single.”

“He will only end up leaving me for some one else.”

“He’s not all that interesting.”

“It is just not worth spending the time to go further.”

“How can I get out of this.”

She grabbed her cell phone from her purse and said, “I have to take this call, excuse me.” How many dates started and ended the same way. “Sorry, my boss…..” she said absent mindedly. As she went on into the dead cell phone…”Yes, I know, mmmm-hmmmm…”

He picked up the tab and went to the bar to settle up.

“Nice to meet you, maybe we could get together again sometime.”

“That would be nice.” She lied sweetly. She just wanted him to leave.

What about you? Do you keep attracting the same kind of person when you date?

Do you feel alone and unsupported in your search for LOVE and ROMANCE?

I have the answer for you. Join the SOUL MATE SUCCESS CIRCLE and TOGETHER we will attract all the love you need to RADICALLY CHANGE THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE!

Imagine having your own personal cheerleaders supporting you every step of the way. That is what a MASTERMIND can do for you.

A mastermind group is a group of people who come together to mutually support each other in their pursuit of success. The idea is that the members of the mastermind group each provide vital skills and knowledge that other members may lack. They share and give advice so that they all may become successful.

Could a group of us come together and support one another to find THE KEY TO WILDLY SUCCESSFUL LOVE LIVES?

I say–YES, YES AND YES and I would LOVE to have YOU be part of that team!

Check out the SOUL MATE SUCCESS CIRCLE. You will be glad you did!