Hey Guys,

Have an ex stalking you?

Why is it that a break up is only a break up for you?  Why won’t she just get it and stop texting you, calling you and showing up at your haunts?

There is an important step you can take that will cut off the relationship in a tangible way. Without this step, you just can’t finish the job and move on.  How do I know?

I was one of those very women.  After my marriage stumbled and crumbled, I met a fabulous man who seduced me with amazing skill.  I adored the attention.  He made me feel beautiful and sexy again.  The chemistry was red hot….the sidewalk could have melted under my feet.

We had 6 weeks of passionate and thrilling love making both in person and on the phone.  How much easier it would have been had he simply told me from the get go that he was looking for a sexual partner. Without that important piece of information, I read all kinds of meaning into his attention.  I began planning a future with him.  Big mistake.

He withdrew faster than a shooting star and disappeared.  Ouch.  Neither of us knew the power of the bonding hormones that trigger clinginess in women.  Guys, if you don’t want a woman clinging to you….wait before you invite her to bed.  We ladies become highly future focused after sex.  It is hard wired in us.

I watched my phone for text messages. I sent cute messages to try to attract the magic we had.  I was a pest and a pill. Ouch.  Now that I look back, seven years now, there is nothing left there.  I have moved on, even though it took monumental effort to disengage myself energetically and get him out of my mind.

Could he have helped me?  Yes, I think he could have.  Had he taken steps to cut the emotional and energetic ties between us.  I believe I would have lost interest sooner.

The moral of the story?  If you have an ex-girlfriend who is stalking you, you can do something about it.  Here are three practical steps:

1.  Write her a letter never to be sent. Tell her clearly and firmly that you are breaking the energetic ties between you.  As you write, allow yourself to imagine cutting the ties with her.  Send her good will and appreciation for the part of herself she trusted with you.  Once the letter is written, burn it.

2.  Visualize yourself and your ex separate and happy. At night before sleep, visualize your ex in a city a thousand miles away from you.  See her with another man.  See her happy and fulfilled.  If this is hard for you, it is even more necessary.  Part of you may enjoy her attention and you need to deal with this.

3.  Spend time alone for awhile before starting a new relationship. What did you learn from this ex?  Did she seem to change over time?  Did you?  As you evaluate what happened, you may want to create a new game plan for moving on and into a new relationship.  Learn about women in general.  We don’t mean to be obtuse.  It may be hard to figure us out, but I promise you, it is worth it!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

It doesn’t rain very often in San Diego.

Winter is also not quite what I grew up with in the midwest.  That’s what makes rainy morning snuggling so exquisite.  Now I know that the special magic of those first few kisses and the electricity of those first expressions of intimacy are breath taking and intoxicating.

But I am here to tell you, when I scootch over and glue myself to my sleeping husband…the spooner to his spoonee, there is nothing better.

This morning I am extra grateful for my sweet heart and it is not just because he turned over and wrapped his arms around me for a precious 15 minutes before we got up.

Lar and I have been through our share of challenges in our short marriage. Both of us have had some health and personal challenges.  We, like many baby boomers, are readjusting our vision and our dreams due to the new economy.

Yes, the first few weeks of our relationship were filled with stolen kisses and passionate embraces and other x-rated fun. But when all is said and done, once our biology calmed itself and we settled into the delicious rhythm of our daily routine, the gentle unfolding of our relationship has brought deep satisfaction.

Don’t get me wrong, the strolls on the Italian Riviera, beach walks in Hawaii and cocktails on the fantail of a cruise ship are beyond fabulous. I am deeply grateful for our good fortune and travel experiences.  However, the best part of my life with Lar is the day to day companionship.

I love how free I am to be myself. I love how I feel when I am with him.  I love planning our days together.  I love how involved he is in his own interests.  I love when I am home alone and he is out and about.  I love when we are on the couch, fire lit, he with his paper, me writing this post.

I love rainy morning snuggling.

“Everyone who turns up in your life–from the people you call friends and lovers, to the people you call enemies and strangers–comes in response to your Vibration. You not only invite the person, but you also invite the personality traits of the person.

Many people have a difficult time accepting this as they think that many of the unwanted characteristics of the people in their lives and they argue that they would never have asked for something so unwanted to come into their experience…..We know that many of the relationships and experiences that you have attracted, you would not have deliberately attracted if you had been doing it on purpose, but much of your attraction is not done by deliberate intent, but rather by default.

It is important to understand that you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.  And chronic thoughts about unwanted things invite or ask for matching experiences, every time.  The Law of Attraction makes it so.”

Abraham Hicks, The Vortex, page 21

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

“We want you to remember that while you are focused here in this Leading Edge physical experience, you also have an Eternal, non-physical, older, wiser part of you that exists in the Vortex and is always available to you.

This Vibrational Relationship between the physical you and the non-physical you is significant for these important reasons:”

1.  The emotions that you feel (your Emotional Guidance System) are because of the relationship between the physical you and the non-physical you.

2.  As you reach for new thoughts to get back into the Vortex, you have the benefit of the stable knowledge of your Non-Physical counterpart.

3.  As you reach for new thoughts to get back into the Vortex, you have the benefit of the confidence that your Non-Physical counterpart is always in the Vortex waiting for you to come into alignment again.

4.  Every other relationship you have (that is with other people, with animals, with your own body, with money, with concepts and ideas, with life itself) is profoundly affected by this all important relationship between you and You.

5.  Everything you are wanting, your deepest desires, are in the Vortex waiting for you.  When you are feeling relaxed, calm and happy, that is the evidence that the non-physical and physical parts of you are in alignment.  That is when the magic happens!

Abraham Hicks, The Vortex, page 13

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

The feeling of connection that people are looking for, the exhilaration of being with someone with their hearts soaring, really is not a function of the person you are with, but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You.  We would prefer to think of Soul Mate as you mating, or consciously connecting, with your own Soul or Source or Inner Being or Self.  When you in your physical moment and time, are offering a similar vibration to your Inner Being, you have indeed found your Soul Mate. And if you consistently do that, the people who will gravitate to you will be enormously satisfying in nature.

In fact, one of the fastest ways to make your way to a wonderful relationship is to find any subject that consistently feels good, and focus on that even if (from Catherine….especially if) it has nothing to do with relationships.

Abraham Hicks  “The Vortex” page 43

“You could always fill out those annoying coupons and subscribe her to fifteen magazines,” Dan chirped in his forever positive voice.  “That’s not helpful,” Molly sniped at him.  He reached over to pull her into a hug.  She was stiff in his arms.  “I just can’t understand it.” she sighed “How can she not have anything good to say….even now….especially now.”

“Come here, darlin’, let it go…let it go.”  In his arms, she let herself soften and receive his love….

It had been a phenomenal day.  Her composition had been selected and she was booked at Carnegie Hall!  The dream of a life time, well at least her life time, she had seen herself on stage at Carnegie Hall, the crowd on its feet applauding like fiends, ever since she was a little girl. And now, after all the years, tears and trauma it was happening.

Molly bought flowers from the street vendor, got an expensive red from the Wine Cellar (her favorite shop) and a couple of beautiful New York strips from the Italian butcher shop.  It was time for a celebration, and she couldn’t wait to get home to tell Dan.

He didn’t disappoint.  “Baby, I am so proud of you!” continue

A friend of mine is just separating from her husband and hearing the fatigue, depression and sadness in her voice triggered this question:

How do you know when it is time to let go of a decaying relationship? The word “decaying” may give you a clue.  If you are miserable, exhausted and disenchanted with your relationship, chances are you are making a decision from a place of anger or fear.

Leaving a relationship is never easy, but if you do it with FEAR or ANGER being your motivator, you are setting yourself up to repeat your pattern with a new partner. continue

Curled up at the end of the bed, the woman was quietly weeping.  Her beagle stuck its nose into the bit of space between her arm and cheek and began to lick her face.  This made her cry even harder.

“Why is it so hard?” she cried.  “Why can’t I find a relationship that lasts.”  She grabbed a kleenex and stroked her dog’s head.  “I swore I wouldn’t let this happen again. and here I am, crying over another break up.”

All alone in her dingy little apartment, she forced herself to get up and poured herself a cup of tea. “I hate this apartment!”  Tears began to stream again. “I hate my life.”  Shoulders slumping, she made her way back to the couch.  Absentmindedly she grabbed the remote and began to run through the channels.

“Three hundred channels and nothing to watch.” she growled as she tossed the remote across the room. continue