What?

That can’t happen, can it?

Some of us think, “That will never happen to me.” Many of us are right, especially with it comes to faithfulness. I, for one. can’t imagine myself ever creating an emotional connection to a man other than my husband. I love knowing him and slowly but surely, letting him know me. We are married just over three years and it still feels amazingly new.

It isn’t in me to be unfaithful, I am sure.

But.

I also never considered that my career, my passion yes, you could say it is my life work, would start to be more of my focus than my husband. Me. So busy in a creative hurricane of thought and activity that I hadn’t noticed the connection between us was wearing thin. I was having so much fun with my business and with the tweeple and other online connections that I didn’t see what was happening.

He missed me and, bless him, my husband didn’t know how to approach me. He told me later that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings so he was holding back and not telling me what was going on with him.

Things were getting strained between us yet finally we were able to break through. We had words one night and both of us spoke our minds. Things were intense but we handled ourselves pretty gracefully all and all.

He left me with some things to think about. I love my work. I love helping women connect the dots and see hope in their relationships.  I love social media, Twitter and Facebook,  and the relationships I am finding across the world.

Plainly said, I love him more. I want to delegate more and let go of details I don’t need to be handling. You know why? Because I can’t delegate being a soul mate and I miss him. I want to spend more time with him. I want to be a soul mate.

I have reapportioned my time and my commitments. I am planning career goals with my husband and including him is bringing a new level of trust for me. I am working less and painting more. I am moving slower and spending more time outside.

My husband has been extra thoughtful as I have been gearing down. Plus I am thrilled to feel a new connection between us. It is that, more than a re-connection, it feels like a new connection. I just appreciate him more. I am moved by his commitment to be with me.

When I deliberately choose to think about those two things, my heart warms toward him. Abraham Hicks says “Think about what you DO like about a person and that is what you will see in the person.” It is nice to have time to think about my husband and have such warm feelings again.

So did I cheat?

What do you think?

I have felt that way for a long time, I just didn’t know how to express it.

No one in my large family really gets me. There is always an underlying awkwardness that I reacted to by withdrawing and separating myself from the crowd. Family gatherings were painful and so we seem to have abandoned the effort. I have done fairly well without these connections over the years. Amazing what a person can get used to. But….

I received 75 birthday cards yesterday. Seventy Five!

Well, they were Facebook greetings on my computer, but they were received as if I were tearing open all the envelopes one by one. Some of the people sending greetings are old friends. One of them, my high school drama teacher, who I recently found on Facebook,I haven’t seen since 1970. Other friends are new. Most I have never met face to face. One was from a close family member.

Facebook is my new neighborhood. It has everything I want in a neighborhood. There are always people to interact with about any issue under the sun. It reminds me of life in Tower Dorm at Marquette University. No matter what time you came in, there was always a bevy of girls with rollers in their hair and cream on their faces ready to debrief you on your last wayward date.

It is a very polite neighborhood too. If I don’t want to be available, I simply disregard what is going on and check up on what other people are into that day. If it gets noisy, I just turn off the speakers. If people are rude, I can evict them from my neighborhood.
If I want to see pictures of a friend’s recent vacation or new grandbaby, I simply go to their Facebook page and not only do I get to see the photos, I can leave a note to let them know I stopped by. Yes, there are lots of grandmas and grandpas on Facebook!

It is easy to expand the borders of my neighborhood. Mari Smith, Pied Piper of Social Media, has a free e course that tells you how to get started. I wish I would have had this fab how-to guide right from the start. She knows how to make it easy to meet your new neighbors. You can get the basics by signing up for the free ecourse at http://www.marismith.com I will be interviewing Mari soon so watch your mailbox! I can’t wait for my neighborhood to meet Mari!

If you are already a member of Facebook and want to use it to expand your business, you will be astounded at the atmosphere of positivity you will find in your new neighborhood. Internet business is taking the world by storm. There is a new paradigm, a new business model that you can’t afford not to know about.

If you want to be part of the slim percentage that is still making money in this economy, you will save yourself headaches, belly aches and wallet aches if you invest in Social Media Simplified, a DVD series on how to maximize your business on line. The internet is the new marketplace….make it your neighborhood!

While all of the perks of living in this new neighborhood have been surprisingly profitable for my business, by far the best part is feeling connected to people who care enough to send the very best, their heart felt messages, a bit of themselves, over the miles. You see, I didn’t get any cards in my real mailbox on my birthday.  I know for sure that my birth family loves and cares for me. We are just completely disconnected from one another and out of each others loops.

What I Know For Sure (Thanks Oprah!) is that the feelings that I used to think could only come from my birth family; the feeling inside of being respected, admired and liked; the precious feeling of knowing someone get you, is available from literally thousands of other people you haven’t met yet.  There is something to this Tribe idea (thank you Seth Godin).  When one tribe doesn’t get you, there are countless other ones you can find that will!

I feel included. And for a girl who has had more of her fair share of exclusion in life, that feels amazing. 75 people took a moment and wrote a birthday greeting. It was the best birthday party ever.

Last Monday, I was at Social Media Simplified where I learned about how social media can be used for business. Mari Smith, Deb Micek, Simon Leung, Denise Wakeman (1/2 the Blog Squad), Nancy Marmolejo, and host Linda P. Taylor blew us away with the statistics on how Facebook, blogging and Twitter are radically changing the entrepreneurial environment of the world. Practical, easy tips for things you can do today to start maximizing your social media connections.

I loved every minute soaking up the info like a sponge. It wasn’t until I got home, though, that I realized Twitter could be a fun tool for building a romantic relationship as well.

For all of you who are saying, “What in the world is Twitter?”, I can relate. I began hearing about Twitter last summer and joined in August. Twitter leads the way in the world of micro blogging. Micro because you can only use 140 characters in any one message. Blog because you are communicating to the internet world with your thoughts and ideas.

Once you join, you pick a handle (remember Rubber Ducky from the trucker and cb days?) and you are good to go, mine is CaptainCat. Ask your friends to join and the fun begins. I love creating conversations with the 140 character limit. It’s a great game!

Deb Micek (CoachDeb at Tribal Seduction) revamped my view of Twitter and the tweets (that is what the messages are called) and I began to see that the Twitter mentality might just be a great tool build some nice buzz in the beehive, if you know what I mean.

Here are Five Ways to Use Twitter To Jazz Up Your Love Life!

1. Invest Your Emotional Self. Consciously enjoy your relationships on Twitter. I love to tweet (create the messages). Similar to crossword puzzles and other word games, Twitter engages your creativity, your imagination and your communication skills. Allow yourself to feel the satisfaction of connection. Your man may not engage with you in this same way and that is ok. You can feel connected to others and fill your emotional tank.

2. Invite him to join. Your man may roll his eyes at your internet fun, but if you put your mind to it, you can find a way to invite his participation. You may be his only friend for awhile and he may want to DM (direct message) you only, but if you sell it to him as a word game, tell him it is easier than instant messaging and that you will send him some cute and maybe even naughty messages, he may just give it a try.

3. Be Patient. If he declines your first invitation, don’t despair. You keep having fun on Twitter, however, and listen up here…this is critical, stop tweeting when you and he are at the dinner table, taking a walk or being together in any way. You will communicate boatloads to him when he sees you turn off your phone or computer and really “Be” with him.

4. Introduce Him To The Fun Of Tweets. Create some tweets and put them on post it notes and put them around the house where your man can see them. If you like using abbreviations, use them but let him know what they mean. LOL (laughing out loud) We fall into the lingo so easily, we forget others don’t know what it is all about. Your man will appreciate getting up to speed with Twitterese and he won’t feel out of place.

5. Every Day Tweet Mentality: Ladies, it is amazing how much can be said in a 140 character statement. Try having a Twitter mentality when you are speaking to your man. How briefly can you say what you need to say and yet still be understood. Men have such a hard time with the verbal flood that comes out of our mouths, bless them. Do him and yourself a favor and tweet to you man. Keep it short and simple. He will love you for it!

If you are a beginner in the world of social media and even if you are a veteran, I strongly recommend you get yourself a copy of the Social Media Simplified DVD series. I would have saved myself hundreds of hours and thousands of dollars has I known how to use social media like Facebook and Twitter strategically in my business. Linda has a special deal going so don’t waste another minute, order your copy today.

One other cool thing is that a part of the purchase price goes to support the Ventura Technical Development Center. Talk about a win-win-win!