Sucks doesn’t it.

And don’t just limit yourself to love.  Trusting the wrong person can happen in business, friendships and even in our health care choices.

The worst part…the easiest person to blame for the mess is YOURSELF. Now you may think you are blaming that awful other person.  You certainly complain about them enough….to any one that will listen.

But..truth be told, at the core of it, aren’t you furious at yourself for being naive and trusting the rat in the first place.  There, the big secret is out.  It is YOU that is to blame, no one else.

And what exactly did you do wrong?  Listen….can you hear it?  It is that little voice inside harassing you once again:

“How could you be so stupid?” continue

Angelique closed her sketch pad and stretched lazily. Her cat, stood up and arched her back in a stretch of her own.  She walked to the kitchen to make a pot of coffee and paused, like always, gazing at the faded photo framed in the hallway.

It had been 20 years and still she ached.  She lived that day again and again.

She had gotten up a little earlier than normal and took her routine run on the beach.  Tony had been in London for a month working on an IT project and she couldn’t wait to have him home.  He had proposed a week before he left and they were getting ready to move in together. continue

Ever wonder how some people seem to attract the perfect person at the exact right time?

Whether it is a new friend, a hot new business prospect or a new crush, there are some of us who seem naturally attractive to strong relationships across the board.

Don’t you wish that was you?  It can be.

My experience with countless people desiring deep connection that disappears time and again is that their Love Set Point is set too low.

Somehow many of us have gotten to a place in our lives where all we attract are incomplete and unfulfilling love relationships. When we move from person to person, the bottom line stays the same. The love we thought was there is not.

What if your Love Set Point IS set too low and you aren’t aware of it?

Here are five signs of a low Love Set Point

1. You have a difficult time sustaining long term same sex friendships. People continually disappoint you and let you down.  It seems no one is in it for the long haul and you drift from friendship to friendship.

2. You procrastinate. Think of procrastination as passive aggressive behavior toward yourself.  If you tag on a little perfectionism you have the ultimate in torture…being a procrastinating perfectionist is the pits!

3. You are working in a job where you are not respected or appreciated. Like a penny under a bowling ball,  you  hate where you are but feel paralyzed and unable to look for new career options.

4. You find it impossible to say no. You feel guilty or afraid of displeasing people so you say yes way to often.

5. Road Rage. You know who you are, you ragers you!

What if you could reset your Love Set Point and finally attract the kind of people and experiences that make you feel loved, appreciated and connected? When you are annoyed or frustrated, think about what that wave of emotion reminds you of.  Chances are there is a betrayal or disappointment in the past that carries some of the same energy as that recent annoyance.

Looking back at a past situation with your now mature eyes may be enough to shake yourself out of your mood.  If not, use one of your tools or processes to express what the experience feels like to you.  Whether you journal, run, dance, paint, tap or pet your cat; choose something to focus on that will bring you some relief.  Your love set point will naturally recover as you move forward and release old situations and relationships.