Soul Mates

Hi Soul Mates,

Morgana Rae tipped me on this fantastic article by author Ton Pascal. Enjoy!

Only once in every 20 years, the blue moon appears on New Year’s Eve, as it will this year. On a plain physical level what is happening is that the moon is out of phase with the days. For it to make its complete cycle it’s about 29.5 days. It doesn’t coincide with our month, and that’s why it is out of sync with our Julian calendar. It’s the occurrence of two full moons in one month, which happens every two years, hence the popular quotation “once in a Blue Moon” which means ‘not very often.’ On average, there will be 41 months that have two Full Moons in every century, so you could say that once in a Blue Moon actually means once every two-and-a-half years.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I just finished watching the Tivo’d broadcast of the final performances on America’s Got Talent. I suppose there was a time when I would have not admitted that out loud, much less in the blogosphere, but now, reality TV has become a part of my life and is no longer a “guilty” pleasure.

I was recovering from a serious illness during the season that David Cook won American Idol and I still clearly remember the impact of those weekly performances.  continue

“You could always fill out those annoying coupons and subscribe her to fifteen magazines,” Dan chirped in his forever positive voice.  “That’s not helpful,” Molly sniped at him.  He reached over to pull her into a hug.  She was stiff in his arms.  “I just can’t understand it.” she sighed “How can she not have anything good to say….even now….especially now.”

“Come here, darlin’, let it go…let it go.”  In his arms, she let herself soften and receive his love….

It had been a phenomenal day.  Her composition had been selected and she was booked at Carnegie Hall!  The dream of a life time, well at least her life time, she had seen herself on stage at Carnegie Hall, the crowd on its feet applauding like fiends, ever since she was a little girl. And now, after all the years, tears and trauma it was happening.

Molly bought flowers from the street vendor, got an expensive red from the Wine Cellar (her favorite shop) and a couple of beautiful New York strips from the Italian butcher shop.  It was time for a celebration, and she couldn’t wait to get home to tell Dan.

He didn’t disappoint.  “Baby, I am so proud of you!” continue

She slipped off her shoes and tossed the keys into the dish.  Her cat rubbed itself in between her ankles forcing her to stop in her tracks. “Misty!” she grumbled, “Stay out of the way!”  The cat ran off with a short meow.  Gathering the mail and magazines, she poured herself a glass of wine and thought how glad she was that her husband wasn’t going to be home for a couple of hours.

Absentmindedly, she paged through Oprah magazine, sipping her chardonnay.  Her forgiving cat jumped up on her lap and nudged her hand with its head, begging for a scratch.  Once again, she pushed her pet aside, closed the magazine and sank into her thoughts.

“Why is it so hard?” a tear formed in her eye and made its way down her cheek.  “What happened to the us we used to be?”  Remembering the ease of their early days, the romance and passion that overflowed everywhere causing their friends and family to drool with jealousy made the tears fall faster.

She had been sure this time.  Sure that he was different.  Sure that she was ready. Sure that this was happily ever after. continue

To All Aspiring Soul Mates:

There really IS nothing like being desired. When my husband chooses to be with me, whether in the bedroom or  at the beach I love it. I feel genuinely ATTRACTIVE, magnetizing his attention and desire to be with me. What is the magic?

According to Dr. Marta Meana PhD., professor of Psychology at UNLV, being desired is “practically orgasmic” for some women. Knowing a man is desiring you is a powerful and arousing experience.  In other words, Dr. Meana says, “A man overcome with desire is so sexy!” continue

Appreciation is the secret to life.  Abraham Hicks

I could just stop there and post my all time shortest entry, but I will reflect a bit.  If appreciation is so powerful and so accessible, then why are so many people whining about their circumstances?  Why don’t people work at strengthening their appreciation muscles?

No matter what is happening, there is some one else who has it a little bit worse than you.  You know that is true.  If you are like me, though, sometimes appreciation is the hardest thing to find.  I hate going through crud.  You know CRUD:  Challenges-Reversals-Uprootings-Downsizings.  CRUD always sucks. continue

He walked into the house, head hanging in dejection.  “What’s up, hon?” she asked.  “I don’t know,” he said, “I am just not feeling like myself these days.” She knew he was facing challenges in his career and the stress was starting to show itself at home.  He was short with her and with the kids and there was a dark cloud that seemed to follow him wherever he went.  What is a soul mate to do?

So much had changed since the early days in their relationship.  She would give anything to see the spark back in his eye, the irresistible grin back on his face and the spring in his step.  After all, ever since she started reading Abraham Hicks, Napoleon Hill and Jack Canfield, her life had been getting more interesting by the moment. Learning that what a person focuses on expands had changed her life and she wanted that for him intensely.

“Why does he reject all of these ideas?” she wrote in her journal.  “I KNOW FOR SURE that this information will help him.  I am SO frustrated.  It seems the more I tell him about what he could do if he only set his mind to it, the more withdrawn he is getting.” continue

This entry is from the material of Rori Raye, a fellow Relationship Expert who rocks my world with her in your face, result gathering exercises.  I have her Modern Siren Program and listen to it over and over again.  I know you will enjoy her!

The Vampire Scream by Rori Raye

Have you ever felt so angry and frustrated you wanted to lash out at a man — but then held it all in and watched helplessly as your anger either ended up exploding all over him, or making YOU feel terrible?

I know exactly what that feels like, because my own instincts and all the training I got from girlhood always tell me to stuff my upsetting feelings down.

And when we stuff our feelings down — we end up pushing a man away. We’re taught to do it anyway, to “protect” him, or appear “cool” and “put together” and we’re told to — at all costs — HIDE our insecurities and “unpleasant” feelings.

And yet – our anger at him comes out anyway. We get cold, we get and look unhappy — and most important — we radiate DISAPPOINTMENT in him. And when a man feels he’s disappointed us — he’ll instinctively withdraw.

Nothing we could say to him to convince him we’re not disappointed feels like a lie to him. It doesn’t work.

When I discovered that the secret to bringing a man close is in my own emotions and my ability to feel them and express them in a way he can HEAR — a way that feels GOOD to him and good to me – my love life turned around completely.

So, here’s a new tool I made up working with a client this week that will help you enjoy — yes! — your anger. And I love doing it myself, so we’ll be doing this together today – THE VAMPIRE SCREAM!

If you’re feeling anxious, or tense, or angry or frustrated, or disturbed in any way, try these steps:

1. Notice that what you’re feeling is anxiety.

This could feel like jumpiness, tension in your body, nervousness, fear of something, worry, a sense of unease.

2. Know that this feeling — this tension, this anxiety is like the “lid” on your emotional “Soup.”

And this lid is getting shaky. It’s starting to rattle. The steam is coming out. The gremlins and awful feelings are starting to rise to the surface and that is terrifying. More terrifying than the emotions that are trying to come to the surface!

3. Drop into the Soup.

Just imagine in your mind that this anxiety and tension is somewhere up around your throat and in your head up high in your body. And imagine dropping all of your awareness, and sensations, and this anxious feeling down into your body as low as you can go down into your pelvis, down into your vagina, down into your lowest “chakra.”

4. Turn your attention to what you’re feeling in this lowest part of your body.

It might seem like a mish-mash, or you might even feel numb or blank, but see if you can identify one of the feelings in the Soup — like anger, or grief. Something really powerful.

Let’s say you’ve identified that you feel anger. Now…

5. Really tune into this feeling — this anger.

Imagine what it is you like to do with that feeling. Do you want to hit something or someone? Do you want to hurt something or someone? Is it your situation you’re angry with? Is it a person?

Is it your man?

It doesn’t matter. This tool is all about a”scream,” so let’s go for that.

6. Let’s get ready to scream.

First let’s prepare. Imagine what it would feel like to let go of a scream that would be huge enough to knock down the whole world. Notice what your hands are doing. Are they preparing to move?  Imagine what that might feel like coming out of your body. Imagine it coming from the deepest part of you and just overtaking your body and coming out of your body with so much force that everyone on the planet would hear it and know exactly how you feel.

7. Now let’s scream — do it this way:

We’re not going to make a loud sound. We’re not going to actually scream. We’re going to do what I call the “Vampire Scream.” Open your mouth. Drop your jaw all the way down to hold your mouth open as you far as you can.  Now imagine a sound and a feeling and a force is crawling up and coming up from the very lowest part of your pelvis.

Now start breathing OUT.  Put your arms out in front of you and let them do whatever they want to do.  Say — “Ahhh……”  Let that “Ahhhh…” out as you exhale and allow it to come from deeper and deeper inside yourself as you run out of air. Let your hands and fingers move in the air in front of you.

Use every last ounce of breath and energy you have.  And when you’re done, when you’ve squeezed out every last bit of the”Ahhhh…” then just relax. Let your arms come down when they are ready. Feel free to try this a few times in a row.

What we’ve done here is slid right past your anxiety and into all the terrifying feelings that you’re used to feeling afraid to feel. And now that you’ve felt them, you don’t have to be afraid of them anymore!

Once you’ve touched the Soup — especially a feeling in there that you don’t like — you’re more able to touch all your OTHER feelings.

Once you’ve touched your rage, it’s much easier to touch your bliss.

“My partner’s bad mood is NOT in my mind!  He is grouchy and mean spirited sometimes and I am SURE I am not attracting that behavior.  I am not grouchy and mean spirited.  How can the Law of Attraction be working when he is so melancholy all of the time and I am not?”

What a great question.  Being in the same environment with another person on a day in and day out basis means we have to adjust to what is going on around us all the time.  When our housemate is not faring well emotionally, some of us go into hyper rescue mode.  We want to remove the bad mood from OUR surroundings so we start trying to help by saying and doing things we think are encouraging.

Have you ever noticed how that always seems to make things worse? The suffering person does not want to be cheered up and the result is sheer frustration.  Is it our responsibility to cheer up the wallowing one?  More importantly, is there something in us that actually attracts more of the depression we are seeing in our partner?

I don’t claim to understand all of this.  Sharing a home with a soul mate ,can often be blissful and fulfilling and I am grateful for those moments, but what do we do when one of the pair is decidedly out of sorts?  Here are five tips for coping with your overwhelmed and discouraged house mate without losing your emotional well-being:

1.  Acknowledge that his angst is his angst. Tell yourself the facts as you see them.  Your boyfriend is going through a challenge.  He can’t see the way out.  He is not a reader and doesn’t seek help in books. (I know, hard to believe but true.)  He is picking at you and that is not cool.  These are all good observations and will help you make a plan. It is hard to see him with loving eyes if he is having a pity party, especially if he really wants you in there with him.

2. Check in with yourself and notice what you are feeling. Once again, tell yourself what you are noticing.  “I don’t like when he is like this.  I feel disconnected and out of the loop.  I feel alone and sad.  I can’t cheer him up and he gets annoyed when I try.  I feel yucky.” Be as honest and descriptive as you can about your own feelings

3. Ask yourself how you WANT to feel. “I want to feel separate from his problems.  I want to feel happy and perky.  I want to feel light-hearted.  I want to feel hopeful and full of expectation.  I want to feel encouraged and vibrant.”  Just writing down how you want to feel is super empowering.  How many of us skip this critical step and then wonder how the whole day goes by with little productivity.

4. Choose your point of focus for YOUR mood of the day. Yes, your partner is struggling and it is excruciating at times to see the emotional turmoil he is going through.  Believe it or not, the best thing you can do is to lift your own spirits.  Once you write down how you want to feel, you will give your Inner Being the marching orders it loves to fulfill.  Your focus on YOUR well-being will change the dynamic in your home….subtley at first but with persistance, the entire mood of your home will shift.

5. Shine your light in his direction. Use your imagination to shower your man with love and light as often as you can.  Being an invisible benefactor and fueling him with your highest intentions for his well being is a precious gift.  He lets himself be known by you more deeply than any one else and your respect for his transparency will yield results.  Sometimes your brightest light toward him will come when you are not with him. Go out and have some fun yourself. Go somewhere he isn’t into and focus on you and your well-being. When you come home, you will be refreshed and energized.

I know it feels unfair at times to just let the grouchy energy be with itself.  After all, it is your home too, why do you have to put up with it? See, I can hear you all the way over here.  The key is to realize that your reading of another person’s mood is a good thing.  It reminds you of how you DON’T want to feel!  Don’t try to fix him, make a choice to do something that uplifts YOU.  When you get in the habit of responding in this way, you show by example how simple choices can radically change perspective on an issue.  And as always, we teach more by our behavior than we do with our words.