“I never cry.”  The young woman sitting across from me was clearly uncomfortable. Sharing the story of her dad’s recent death, she struggled to hold herself together.

“Why do you think you block your tears?” I asked. “I hate being weak,” she responded quickly and a bit defensively.

“I have been on my own since I was a kid and there is no time for falling apart.”  Instantly back in control, she changed the subject as the waiter brought our coffee.

Did you know that women cry an average of 5.3 times a month? For years I didn’t cry for months at a time.  I, like the young woman from above, was actually proud of the fact that I didn’t cry.

Years of anger, frustrated dreams and broken relationships had sealed my tears within.  When I felt the familiar lump in my throat, I never allowed the tears that were calling to be shed to flow.  I was too strong for that.

Little did I know that men actually do cry….only 1.4 times a month, but that tears flow for them too. Somehow I had decided that crying was something I could do without.  Hmmm. Amazing how you can believe something that is so untrue. Do you believe that crying is weak?  Does crying make you uncomfortable?  Do you have a good cry at least once a month?

If not, you are missing out on an important “Love Potion” that your own amazing body is designed to provide.

Abraham Hicks teaches that the ultimate goal for your mindset is “Well-Being.”  They have been teaching this simple truth for years.  Now I LOVE Abraham, as you know, and I also teach the positivity message.  Well today I have news for you.

TEARS ARE NOT NEGATIVE!

What? Isn’t sadness a low vibrating emotion?  Aren’t you supposed to pivot and change your mindset ASAP so you can be in high vibrating well being?  Yes and no….

continue

Even if you still feel alone in your quest to find your Soul Mate, there is help out there! I just happened upon (wink, wink) this video this morning. You can easily use this Focus Wheel practice no matter what stage you are in…single to long term marriage!

I suggest that you create the focus wheel right along with the volunteer in the video. Just write exactly what Esther cues him to write. Watch how you feel going through the exercise. Remember, your true manifestation power is in how well you feel your body’s sense of engagement in the exercise.

In other words, goose bumps, shivers, to yawning and relaxing your whole body…. Radical Well Being has a personal signature. Once you start feeling it, it is so much easier to coax your thoughts in that direction.

Enjoy!

“My partner’s bad mood is NOT in my mind!  He is grouchy and mean spirited sometimes and I am SURE I am not attracting that behavior.  I am not grouchy and mean spirited.  How can the Law of Attraction be working when he is so melancholy all of the time and I am not?”

What a great question.  Being in the same environment with another person on a day in and day out basis means we have to adjust to what is going on around us all the time.  When our housemate is not faring well emotionally, some of us go into hyper rescue mode.  We want to remove the bad mood from OUR surroundings so we start trying to help by saying and doing things we think are encouraging.

Have you ever noticed how that always seems to make things worse? The suffering person does not want to be cheered up and the result is sheer frustration.  Is it our responsibility to cheer up the wallowing one?  More importantly, is there something in us that actually attracts more of the depression we are seeing in our partner?

I don’t claim to understand all of this.  Sharing a home with a soul mate ,can often be blissful and fulfilling and I am grateful for those moments, but what do we do when one of the pair is decidedly out of sorts?  Here are five tips for coping with your overwhelmed and discouraged house mate without losing your emotional well-being:

1.  Acknowledge that his angst is his angst. Tell yourself the facts as you see them.  Your boyfriend is going through a challenge.  He can’t see the way out.  He is not a reader and doesn’t seek help in books. (I know, hard to believe but true.)  He is picking at you and that is not cool.  These are all good observations and will help you make a plan. It is hard to see him with loving eyes if he is having a pity party, especially if he really wants you in there with him.

2. Check in with yourself and notice what you are feeling. Once again, tell yourself what you are noticing.  “I don’t like when he is like this.  I feel disconnected and out of the loop.  I feel alone and sad.  I can’t cheer him up and he gets annoyed when I try.  I feel yucky.” Be as honest and descriptive as you can about your own feelings

3. Ask yourself how you WANT to feel. “I want to feel separate from his problems.  I want to feel happy and perky.  I want to feel light-hearted.  I want to feel hopeful and full of expectation.  I want to feel encouraged and vibrant.”  Just writing down how you want to feel is super empowering.  How many of us skip this critical step and then wonder how the whole day goes by with little productivity.

4. Choose your point of focus for YOUR mood of the day. Yes, your partner is struggling and it is excruciating at times to see the emotional turmoil he is going through.  Believe it or not, the best thing you can do is to lift your own spirits.  Once you write down how you want to feel, you will give your Inner Being the marching orders it loves to fulfill.  Your focus on YOUR well-being will change the dynamic in your home….subtley at first but with persistance, the entire mood of your home will shift.

5. Shine your light in his direction. Use your imagination to shower your man with love and light as often as you can.  Being an invisible benefactor and fueling him with your highest intentions for his well being is a precious gift.  He lets himself be known by you more deeply than any one else and your respect for his transparency will yield results.  Sometimes your brightest light toward him will come when you are not with him. Go out and have some fun yourself. Go somewhere he isn’t into and focus on you and your well-being. When you come home, you will be refreshed and energized.

I know it feels unfair at times to just let the grouchy energy be with itself.  After all, it is your home too, why do you have to put up with it? See, I can hear you all the way over here.  The key is to realize that your reading of another person’s mood is a good thing.  It reminds you of how you DON’T want to feel!  Don’t try to fix him, make a choice to do something that uplifts YOU.  When you get in the habit of responding in this way, you show by example how simple choices can radically change perspective on an issue.  And as always, we teach more by our behavior than we do with our words.

Aren’t you immediately curious about what in the world those yeses are all about?

Amazing how powerful that little word is.  Especially when you say it to yourself.  What?

How many times do you decline inner nudges to act in ways that would SURELY RAISE YOUR VIBRATION to a more blissful state?  While searching for love, your path will be lined with lovely signs that you are on the right track. Will you notice them or not?

There is evidence every single day that you are getting closer to love and when your vibration is uplifted regularly, you will see that evidence.  Love appears like magic.  When love appears more regularly, finding a soul mate connection will be a natural unfolding.

What are some of the inner nudges you need to answer with an emphatic YES?

Here are some that my Inner Being sends me, maybe you can relate:

How about a walk?

Ready for a glass of water?

Why not call that friend you haven’t seen for a couple of months.

Go outside for a breath of fresh air.

Turn off the computer for awhile.

Take yourself out to lunch in a new neighborhood.

Take a yoga class.

There are countless things that will raise your vibration and when you are humming along in well-being, the Law of Attraction has lots of energy to work with,  you will most assuredly run into more loving people and opportunities than you an imagine!

So let’s here it from everyone:  YES!  YES!  YES!

Five years ago, I was divorcing my husband, taking antidepressants by the fistful and in therapy to try to sort out the end of my nearly 30 year old marriage.

Today I am married again, packing my bags and leaving for Italy with the love of my life. We are celebrating our third anniversary in Tuscany.

I can only say….if this can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.

Life is continually amazing me with its unfolding brilliance!

Here is a word from Abraham Hicks for you today! I will be back in October with lots of fresh ideas for creating love!!!

“Come to understand that to the degree you FEEL blessed and expect good things to flow to you – this indicates the state of your allowing. You and how you FEEL is all that is responsible for whether you let in your inheritance of Well-Being of not. You can open the flood gates and let in your Well-Being. Whether you allow or resist it, the stream is constantly flowing to you, never ending, never tiring, always there for your reconsideration. Ask.”
Ask And It Is Given

Celebrating Love Everywhere!
Catherine