Feel free to cut and paste this ad and post it on your local Craig’s List:

Wanted:  The Perfect Man

I am looking for an ideal partner. You must be open and available to me emotionally. You must be easily entertained and passionate about your life. You must be confident and have the ability to get noticed when you come into the room.

I prefer manscaping so no extraneous body hair. Integrity is important to me and you must be your true self at all times.   You must get along with my friends and family and yet be completely devoted to me.

Above and beyond all, you must never, ever hurt my feelings.  I have been hurt enough and it is up to you to put an end to that.  Oh, and if you are short, bald or broke…no need to apply.

Silly?  You bet!  And yet, most single women have a version of that running in the background of their minds. Just like a hidden program on your computer’s hard drive, you have a ‘mind virus’ that is convincing you that some version of the above want ad is true.

Can you have a man who won’t hurt your feelings? You know that can’t be true.  And yet, the pain of being misunderstood or dismissed is so intense for some women that they organize their whole lives to make sure they don’t get hurt.

Love Sabotage for sure!!! What can you do instead?  I know it is hard to accept that hurt feelings can’t be eliminated forever.  Actually, that is a good thing.  Your hurt feelings feeling is a critical part of turning up your love magnetism.  Tune into this video and I will explain why:

I meet hundreds of single women who tell me their stories.

Many are shocked to find themselves still single at a certain age. Some hovering around 40 still want to have a baby. All sad and disappointed by their situation.  Love Sabotage?

Here are the Top Ten Things Single Women Are Not Aware of:

1. Nearly all of them express shock that my husband and I have moments of disconnection in our very good marriage.

2. Nearly all feel a partner will make them feel something they cannot feel from anyone else.

3. None realize that the bio-chemistry of pleasure feels the same whatever is stimulating it. A good concert, a tail wagging dog, a fantastic dining experience, the hug of a child, the affirmation of a job well done as well as a great partner are just a few of the life happenings that are pleasurable.

4. Nearly all are waiting for “The One” before they travel, move or or start a new career. Life is on hold and they are accepting that.

5. None of them are aware there is a part of them who loves being single and is very good at making sure that nothing changes that.

6. Few realize that self sabotage is really self protection.

7. Few know the strength of their true personal magnetism and the power they have to create a happier life.

8. Most are isolated and none are involved in philanthropy. Nothing grows a heart of love than serving with a charity you love!

9. Nearly all experienced a broken heart around the age of 13.

10. None feels how special they are exactly as they are.

Want to put an end to YOUR single status?  Start here:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

“I am tired of the Law of Attraction.”

“I do everything Abraham says and I am still single.”

“I am SO tired of being alone.”

Sound familiar? It can be searingly difficult to keep the faith with you are working with the Universal Laws. The books, audios and coaching programs all promise great results, so what’s up? Why can’t finding love be easier?

I hear you. Law of Attraction SOUNDS good when you hear it, doesn’t it? If you can learn how to magnetize yourself to love, your perfect match will ‘magically’ appear and your happily ever after is yours at last. Are you rolling your eyes? Great…keep reading!

There is a missing piece to the puzzle and if you are rolling your eyes….you are closer to the missing piece than you think! The one ingredient to manifesting success that flies under the radar and stays out of your view is…..

Are you ready for this? The very frustration you are feeling is the missing link! As you get more and more clear about what kind of relationship you want, you are actually stirring the pot of your past disappointments. This is natural and normal!!

Your brain has been conditioned to create thoughts contrary to loving connection. You read right. Your own brain chemistry is working against you and the only clue you have is your frustration. Why is that a problem?

Simple…Law of Attraction gurus teach you night and day that you must keep our vibration up at all costs, that you must place yourself in the mindset and mood of a happily married soul mate before you can be magnetic enough to have him show up. There is only one problem with that.

In order to create the feeling of mission accomplished before the mission is accomplished is to allow the negative thoughts have a voice. Depression, despair, anger, frustration, sadness, grief and loneliness are all real energies produced by our brains in response to life drama and trauma.

If you don’t recondition your brain to see these events differently….you are stuck in the waiting room forever!!!

Should you just give up? NO!! Your negative feelings are controlling your lackluster love life and there is a safe way to express them. Worrying that you will attract more negative results if you allow yourself to be negative is a trap! You must find away to change your thoughts about the painful past and retraining your brain is the fastest way to get that job done.

So what can you do?

Here are 5 Steps to Keeping Your Faith in The Law of Attraction While You Are Waiting for Love:

1. Don’t Deny Your Feelings: Seems simple, but is so important. When you are feeling blue or find yourself in a funk, don’t be too quick to run from those feelings. You are frustrated and I don’t blame you.

Let your feelings about your singleness have a voice. Now, you don’t want to go venting all over the place and speak all about it, but writing a list of the people who have disappointed you in love is a great step!

2. Evaluate which past relationship is the most painful: Think about a past breakup. Remember the time it happened and see if there is any regret, remorse or rejection still there. On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are your feelings?

3. Lean into your feelings: One of my favorite techniques is a really simple one. After I have figured out the person whose betrayal is stirring me up at the moment, I get a pencil and paper and begin to write his or her first name.

I like using a pencil for this because when I am feeling a lot of intensity about the person, my handwriting shows the intensity. I write the name over and over. Amazing how feelings come up! You will feel yourself getting calmer until the exercise comes to a natural end. I usually start to misspell the name. That is my signal I am done.

4. Allow yourself to accept that person: Should they have broken your heart? No, of course not! But, most of those pesky early heartbreaks were not malicious, even though it may have felt that way at the time. Early relationships are hardwired for drama and trauma.

Can you think of a teenager who isn’t? See that person as someone who did not get you. He didn’t have the skills to let you down easy and he blew it. Seriously…would you want to still be with him? Your brain was trained to withdraw from love because of him and now you can let it go. Believe it or not, that name writing exercise is brain training!

5. You are the one who is the center of your own love universe: When you have control over your own reaction to past emotional hurt, you will shine with confidence! Relationships hurt. That is the way it is.

When you are scared of being hurt again, it is like putting someone else at the center of your love universe. Don’t let another minute go by allowing a long lost love control your future! Admit, allow and adopt your thinking about love and you will be MUCH happier with the LOA and all it offers!

xoxo

I get emails every week from people who say this to me: “I don’t want to be alone when I am old.” There is so much passion and desire and love that is longing to be poured out on another person.

Believe me, there are thousands of men out there looking for the someone exactly like you!! If you go back and read the first letter of my 5 steps, you will see the secret to success. Once you accept this secret as the Universe’s way to prepare you for love, you will see concrete evidence of Love coming into your life….I promise!

Curious about your personal Love Sabotage Style? Take the Sabotage Survey and find out! http://EndLoveSabotage.com

Wouldn’t it be lovely if UPS could deliver your mate to you….today?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could skip dating all together?

OK, Wishful Thinker, time to come back to reality.

If you hate to date, that is a problem. Fear of dating is just the tip of the love-repelling iceberg. If there is a way to meet great prospects without dating, I haven’t heard of it yet.

Can you learn to LIKE dating?

Or at least tolerate it?

Let me ask you this, on a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to find a partner?

Dating does not have to be a nightmare! In fact, hating to date is Love Sabotage for sure!! Twice a month I teach EFT Cupid classes so that you can melt your self-consciousness and shine!

Every other week EFT Cupid meets to support singles motivated to put their lonely past behind them and get some traction for their Soul Mate Attraction plan.

Classes are no cost for members of my private community. Are you ready to take steps toward True Love? Just click here for registration information: http://EFTCupid.com

“Is there a break up in your past that was hard to get over?”

“No, I’m fine. I make it a point to never have regrets and I just put them behind me.” said the beautiful still-single-at-40 attorney sharply.  I could tell she was a little annoyed.

“I see.” I said. “How many breakups are behind you?”

“Six, but what does that have to do with my Love Magnet.”

“Let me show you,” I said to her gently. (Want to peek over my shoulder and listen in?)

Here is how to check your own Love Magnet:

1. How many significant breakups have you had in the past.

2. Pick one of them for your love magnetizing check.

3. Now think of one particular day when the breakup was happening. How intense was it at the time on a scale of 1-10.

4. How long ago was it? Are there any hurt feelings left on that day? Is there an echo of pain? How strong is it on a scale of 1-10?

5.  Do you feel a stab of rejection and disappointment thinking about a former lover? It is a sure sign that your heart is still engaged with him on an energetic level.

That explains why you keep attracting men who are partly interesting but mostly really disappointing. That ache in your heart from past disappointment is attracting people who continue to disappoint you.

The ache in your heart from that ex all those ex’s ago is broadcasting a strong signal and the men you are interested in are picking up on that signal.

Until you clear the airwaves, so to speak, and cut off your connection to him, the power of your love magnet is muffled.  Your ex may be years in your past, but his energy is still as alive in your memories as the day of the breakup.

If this sounds like you, don’t panic. Take a breath and realize that awareness is the first part of change.  Decide today to look at your self sabotage patterns differently.  Once you know your patterns, you can make new ones.  It is your decision to change your mindset that makes all the difference!

Wonder if you are ready for love?  http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and find out right now!

Ok guys, it is your turn. Have you been feeling left out with all the Snow White and Rapunzel stuff? Well, thanks for being patient. I am happy to introduce you to your saboteurs.

Any man who is looking into self sabotage is one special man. If you are willing to look at yourself and how you can adjust your thinking about love, you can find a great partner. In many ways, you guys are like my ladies. You have been hurt by past love, stalked by women who couldn’t let go, dumped by the woman of your dreams and find yourself single in spite of all.

If you read my material, you know that self-sabotage is my specialty. The women I have talked to fall into three distinct saboteur styles, Rapunzel, Scarlett O’Hara and Snow White. There is also a Sleeping Beauty stage in each soul mate’s journey…the time when she is not aware of her magic or her power to attract true love.

Finally, you guys have your own saboteur styles. I have defined the male saboteur styles as Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor and Romeo. Plus, there is a Rip Van Winkle stage when men are asleep to their strength and magnetism when it comes to attracting the right women.

Let me summarize the three male True Love Saboteurs:

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“Your ears are horrible.”His voice echoes in her ears 25 years later.

“You’ll never make it in this business looking like that.”

Years of painful memories from cruel childhood bullies come flooding back every time Denise remembers that agent’s abrupt appraisal of her ears.

“F–k him”, she thought.  “F–k him”. Barbra Streisand never fixed her nose, of course, Barbra didn’t have her ears. Terrified of losing her opportunity, she allowed the cruel man to push her and manipulate her from that day forward.

Ever since that day, her ears never appeared in public again. Even though she had surgery years ago to ‘pin’ the little devils into more appropriate posture, she still cowered in fear of an old picture from 6th grade popping up.  For some reason, her mom rejoiced in plaiting her hair into tight strings against her scalp for picture day.

Blessed with gorgeous hair, she wore it down and long, causing immense jealousy among her friends.In fact, her friends couldn’t possibly understand the huge fear of rejection that their compliments refused to soothe.

In fact, she was tired of hearing the string of comments she heard from every one.  ”How can you still be single?”  ”You are beautiful.”  ”You would be a great wife.”  Or the worst one of all,  ”You know, these days, being a successful single woman is more accepted than ever.”

Maybe they are right, she would think, maybe there is no one for me out there. It’s true that her life looks charmed from the outside looking in.  A successful TV anchor woman, Denise had traveled the world and was highly respected.

With a personal stylist and hair and makeup taken care of every day, she always appeared at her very best.  Little did her fans know how deeply insecure she felt without her entourage, makeup and wardrobe.

“What’s wrong with me?”  she said to her reflection in the mirror. At 45, she knew the network was interviewing younger, bustier women and she could see the handwriting on the wall.  All Denise wanted, all she had dreamed about her whole life was a husband.  Truth be known, she would have given up her whole career, to have the one thing she never found.

Why is True Love so very hard for some women to find? Denise is a Rapunzel and if you look into her past, you might find the clues, really the steps that she took that built that tower…one brick at a time.  Just like the fairy tale, the inner tower of safety she has built for herself for safety, now holds her prisoner.

That agent wasn’t the first person who rudely picked at her appearance. Her own mother used to tell her, “You look like death warmed over….go put on some makeup.”  Her father had taken off when she was 2 and her mom hated him.  She told Denise time and again, “Don’t trust men.  They will take what they want and throw you away when they are done.”

Fear and hurt served as the mortar between the brick after brick of disappointment in all of her relationships. Both boyfriends and girlfriends filled her life with drama in her school years.  Her natural good looks got her all kinds of attention, but she never felt beautiful so she always assumed people were just being nice or flat out lying.

Now, at 45, Denise is brittle, disappointed and hopeless.

Is there hope for Rapunzel? In a word, yes.  But Rapunzel has her work cut out for her.  In order to find the Love she has always longed for, Rapunzel must open up to the good opinions of others and AGREE with them.  She must stop beating herself up on the inside.

The most ironic and poignant part of all of this is that she has become her own worst enemy and her inner talk is laced with the same bullying she endured as a young person. If you can relate to Denise’s story, here are some action steps you can right now to start dismantling your defenses and let Love in:

1.  Accept Compliments. You have probably heard this before, but for Rapunzel’s this is critical.  When someone compliments you, I want you to say to yourself, “They are right, I do have beautiful hair, a great outfit, a fab sense of humor.”  Whatever is praised in you, you must start AGREEING with them.  Your default reaction is to DISAGREE with all kindness sent your way.  Stop that today.

2.  Write a Letter. Rapunzel, you have been through more hurt than is fair.  You know it, I know it.  Write a letter to your 16 year old self and tell her what you have learned so far.  Give her advice.  Encourage your 16 year old the way no one else did.  Then, write a letter to your 21 year old self. And then, write a letter to the one who let the great guy get away.  Personally, I love to burn the letters I write…a ceremony between me and me.

3.  Be Mad. This is one of my very favorite techniques.  Get a piece of paper and a couple of pens.  Think back and bring someone to mind who was mean or unkind to you.  All you do is write that person’s first name…over and over and over.  As you write it, notice your feelings.  You might notice your grip on the pen gets tighter.  You might notice your belly tighten or your chest ache.  Just notice.  You will notice that as you go on, you will reach an end.  Then think of another person and do the same.  Again, burning the papers is recommended….in a safe place of course.  I have a metal Burning Bowl I use for these exercises.

4.  Forgive Yourself. This is a crucial step.  Sure you are still single, I know, but you have to let yourself off the hook.  You have done the best you can.  Remember that she may be misinformed, but your Saboteur is sure that being alone is better for you.  Now that you are getting this information and these tools, you can change your course.  Tell yourself everyday, “Even though I have locked my heart away in the past, I am ready to open my life to new possibilities.”

5.  Let Down Your Hair. Rapunzel, you are deeply in need of FUN!  What are you doing in your life right now that is pleasurable and fun?  Think back to things you liked to do when you were 10 years old.  Were you a roller skater, bike rider, tree climber, beach walker?  Rent your favorite comedies on TV and laugh your ass off.  Fill your heart with laughter and your Love Vibe will leap into flame!

XOXO

How about you, do you wonder which Saboteur you are?  Check it out:

http://www.attractyoursoulmatenow.com/blog/true-love-saboteur-assessment/

Is your goal to find a man who will cherish you, shower you with love and affection, be proud of you and show you off to his friends and family?

Or is it to be with a man exactly 4 1/2 inches taller than you?

For most of my life, baldness in a man was a complete deal breaker. I even had occasional panic attacks when encountering bald men.

Because I was hurt by a bald man in my past, I had automatically DISQUALIFIED all bald men. How did I do that?  My BODY freaked out with flash backs and gut wrenching tightness and pain in my belly.

CRITICALLY IMPORTANT: DON’T MISS THIS…..

Why do I tell you this?  Because much to my total shock and amazement….that deal breaker was not a TRUE deal breaker.

Once I got clear on what experiences in my past had manufactured that deal breaker, I could move on and guess what happened????

The Universe delivered a Soul Mate to me….and he is, you guessed it…..Bald!! So how about you?  Could you have a deal breaker that is holding your own dreams for True Love out of reach?

If you are not 100% sure that your deal breakers are True and Necessary….you can change your mind. Wondering if this could be you?  Are you single and have height, hair or fitness deal breakers? We need to talk.

The first step is to take the http://EndLoveSabotage.com Assessment so you can find out how strong your love sabotage habits are.  Then you can make an action plan and change your vibration for good

Secretly, she never did like those dwarves.

Over the years, she even secretly named them.   Whiney, Negative, Complacent, Unmotivated, Stubborn, Naive and Annoying.  Resentment was a constant battle.  She was such a sweet thing and didn’t get angry very often and she really enjoyed helping them….part of the time.  But, she never felt appreciated at the deepest level.  When they hi-hoed-hi-hoed and off to work they went….she took care of that whole household….with no electric appliances.  The end of the day came and her to do list was never done. The next day all she had was the same routine…..again.

How do you tell if you are a Snow White? Maybe you are a Scarlett O’Hara, Rapunzel or Sleeping Beauty. Everyone has a Self Sabotage Style, I call them True Love Saboteurs and I find four types.  Snow Whites are lovely women.  They are kind, generous to a fault, reliable and faithful as apple pie.   They crave financial security and yet are chronic under-earners.  They strongly believe that their service to others will give them the connection they are hungry for.  Most have no idea what True Love really feels like so their love magnetism is scattered and confusing.

Because The True Love Saboteur’s only task is to make sure your beliefs are supported and stay true, this is a powerful energy source with in you. She is truly a master.  It is tangible proof of the power of focus.  You believe Love is hard and that it is impossible to find a good match….your Saboteur makes sure that happens.

How do I know?  You are still single.  No matter how desperately you want a partner, it is not happening.  Your Saboteur is working overtime, underneath the radar, supporting the belief that trusting a man again will be too devastating to handle. For many Snow Whites, the stomach clenching fear about what will happen if the next man is not the one, is enough to unconsciously opt for singleness.

In fact, most Snow White’s have taken steps to move on from the past and recognize what they have been doing is not working.  Many of them are out of touch, perhaps numb, to the inner turmoil.  Like ashes after a forest fire, there is emotional residue cluttering up the Inner Landscape.  A part of you is terrified that you will not find someone.  Your Saboteur is doing everything it can to make sure you don’t feel how afraid you are.

What’s the solution?  The first step is to check in to see if Snow White’s Saboteur Style fits:

How To Recognize Snow White:

• Doesn’t enjoy social events where there are mostly couples.
• Allows schedule to fill with lots of activity but not much substance.
• Needs to feel validated, almost manic about being right.
• A tender spot for animals.  Some feel their soul mate is their pet.
• Holds a grudge, hard to let go of disappointment.
• Hard to say no.  Feels sucked into things she doesn’t want to do.
• Had a very strong imagination as a young child.
• Her friends see her as sweet and kind though at some level, she doesn’t get that.

The second step is easy.  If you feel you might have a True Love Saboteur underneath your relationship radar, just click the link below and we can set up a complimentary consultation. I can show you if your Saboteur is activated and how much control she has over your love life.

XOXOXOXOXO

Want an instant reading of YOUR magnetism? http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and see how strong your Love Vibe is right now!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous