Wonder if you are with the right guy? Click here for a Should I Stay or Should I Go Psychic Reading and find out!
You Hold His Heart In Your Hands
Things are tough these days. It doesn’t take a masters in economics to know that there is a dark
shadow hanging over the men in our lives.
With women taking more and more of a role in the money making and financial contributions at home, men are struggling to know what we expect from them. There is a primal urge in men to be the protectors and defenders and the stark reality of our national money problems is really shaking things up.
What is a Soul Mate to do? Learning to MANIFY your man is critical to making him feel cherished, admired and respected. When he feels appreciated this way, affection is more natural. You are the one reading this article and it is you who can start a change in the atmosphere in your home.
Here are Five Keys To Connecting To Your Man. Your acceptance of him, especially when he is so uncertain about his role will reap huge rewards for you!
1. Check Your Thoughts At The Door. Thinking about how he is letting you and the family down is not helping anything. Do a thought audit. Any thoughts that hold an opinion about what he is NOT doing need to be redirected. The easiest way to do this is to put “Even though” at the beginning of the thought and “I choose to love him anyway” at the end. For example:
“He won’t ask for more hours and I hate that because if he did, we would have more money.” Changes to: “Even though I hate it when he won’t ask for more hours, I choose to love him anyway.”
2. Praise Him For What He Is Doing. Ladies, we must be creative. Your man wants to hear how proud you are of him. There are opportunities every day to let him know you appreciate what he is trying to do, ESPECIALLY when you are aware of what he is not doing. Even if it is something like, “Honey, I love how responsible you are about getting to work on time every day.” or even “I am so impressed with how hard you work for us.” He LOVES your sincere praise.
3. Ask How You Can Support Him. He may say there is nothing you can do, and that is ok. He has his share of worries. Kindly asking “Is there anything I can do to support you right now?” may help him by opening his mind to asking you for help at a later time.
4. Make Him His Favorite Meal. This is such a simple but profound way to show your man how important he is to you. The way to a man’s heart IS his stomach and a warm meal prepared with love will always make him feel cherished.
5. Invite Him To Have Sex With You. This may be a challenge for you, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed yourself. Sex is comforting to a man and MANIFIES him like nothing else. Once you are determined to make your man feel cherished and you follow the other steps to connect with him, you will find it much easier to open yourself to a loving encounter.
When you are committed to being a Soul Mate to your man, he will get it. He may not understand what you are doing but he will feel the change in your attitude and you will be amazed at the changes you will see in him!
“I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you.” the familiar voice said hopefully.
Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since.
Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I’d had in years!
Now here he was, breezing back into my life and inviting me to reconnect. I knew my friends would be shocked that I was even considering it, so I didn’t telling anyone he called. There were so many parts of our time together that were very good. Why did we break up anyway?
Does this ring a bell? This exact scenario happened for me several years ago and I chose to say no. It was an excruciating choice because the chemistry was ridiculous. (I would love to know why the wrong men can have such exciting chemistry…just not fair!) This is how it played out.
Gorgeous, exciting ex-flame is visiting my tiny apartment. Candles were lit, jazz was playing and he was doing his best to coax me into bed. “It is important to live in the moment,” he said to me, “Do what feels good now.” My new interest in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle not withstanding, somehow I knew he was pushing his agenda over my lackluster objections.
I was so tempted. He had asked me for a back massage which, of course, I agreed. I loved touching him and what harm could it do? Ha! As I rubbed the oil on his back, he kept gently encouraging me to respond to my natural arousal and seal the deal. What a pickle!
Somehow, in the middle of this highly charged situation, I said to myself first and then to him, “Wait a minute. Just hold up here. I want to think about what is right for me.”
I went across the room, sat in a chair, closed my eyes and pleaded with my Inner Wisdom, “Please help me know what to do. I want this man but the red flags are waving madly! What should I do?”
I was hoping I would get a clear yes (dreamer!) or a clear no but what I got was the most amazing and calming answer.
“Whichever choice you make will be fine. You are going to be fine, no matter what.”
I laughed outloud and told him what I heard. He laughed too. I am sure he was hoping my Inner Guidance said yes, but he was absolutely wonderful when I told him I decided no. He had made it clear to me that he was not interested in a relationship with me and as much as I wished I could change his mind, I had to face the truth. Sex would be fun with him but I knew myself too well. I liked him more than that and a bootie call would send me into weeks of obsession! Bottom line, I want to be loved more than anything. Love has to be primary.
What about you? Are you facing a similar situation? A dear friend of mine always used to quip “An ex is an ex for a reason” whenever I looked back at my ex-boyfriend. I would say the same to you. But, if you are not sure, here are three questions to ask yourself:
1. Do you feel a heart connection to this man? Do you really? Get quiet and allow the memories of your break up come back to you. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hurt and disappointed were you? If it is 6 or above. Stop for a moment and think about adding another disappointment to the mix. Does that work for you?
2. Are you obsessing about him? If you are, that is a symptom of an out of control mind. If you broke up, there was a reason for that. Jump into a new hobby or get outside and walk a couple of miles a day while listening to a book on tape. Take action to give your thirsty mind something to think about. An obsessive woman is not very attractive, not even to her friends.
3. What do your friends think? Trust your friends. Just like the Sex In The City girls, trust someone to talk to about this. Often your friends can see your situation more clearly. Yes, Carrie and Big got together, but that was a fairy tale. More times than not an ex is an ex for a reason and moving on is your best bet.
If you can’t get him out of your mind, don’t worry! There are lots of cool ways to occupy your mind while the next candidate comes across your path. Not to sound like my grandma but, there really are a lot of fish in the sea and there is someone out there for you.
If you are spending hours a day mooning over an ex, you sure can’t put too much energy into thinking the thoughts that will attract that new man to you. Is that ok with you?
I don’t know what it is…but there is something deep in the hearts of many men that will not let them admit that they don’t know everything.
Now we sweet female types…..we do see right through it…..and that makes your man work even harder to be right!
One of my clients was trying to tell her husband that he said NO to her for every thing she asked. Of course, he said ‘No, he didn’t’! She decided to put it to a test…and here is how it went….
She: Do you want to see a movie?
She: Do you want to go for a walk?
She: Can we talk for a few minutes?
She: Could you help me carry this box?
Finally….in total frustration she said to him…..
Do you want to have sex?
He said NO before he even thought about what she said!!
Needless to say….she finally got his attention. This couple got a big laugh out of this and that broke the tension…..but they still had work to do.
So….what can you do if your man insists that he is right about everything?
There is an AMAZING AND POWERFUL TOOL THAT RARELY FAILS….it is so powerful, not everyone can handle it…..
ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE? I hope so because it could just change your relationship forever! Are you ready……..
AGREE WITH HIM…….you read correctly…..AGREE WITH HIM…..WHENEVER YOU CAN.
You may be in a pattern where you argue about big things and little things with the same passion. This is the perfect time to try this technique. There are so many things you don’t really need to be “right” about.
Look in the mirror and practice saying…..”You’re right about that.” It doesn’t hurt that bad…..I promise!!!
Telling him he is right about something will surprise him and while he is getting over the shock…..you say what you have to say.
He says….”Your friend Darcy is always calling you during dinner.”
You say….”You’re right about that but she needs a friend.”
He says…..”But we need you too and I want to eat together as a family.”
You say….”You’re right, I can tell her I will call her back after dinner.”
If you can stop disagreeing about the small things……it won’t be long before you will be talking calmly about important things.
Dr. Wayne Dyer says “When you have a choice to be right or to be kind….always choose to be kind.”
It takes a strong person to live up to this…..and one strong person is often enough to start building a better relationship.