“I thought we had something real.” Jen sobbed.
“He was the most romantic man I had ever been with. He was so polite and showered me with gifts and flowers.”
“I didn’t want to sleep with him yet, but he seemed so perfect.” Her voice cracked again.
“What happened,” I asked gently.
“He changed completely. He stopped texting first and then before I knew what happened, he started flirting with other girls on Facebook, and now…”
Jen started to weep on the line.
So how do you tell that the Knight in Shining Armor who has shown up is True Blue? How can you see the Wolves in Sheep’s clothing before you get bitten?
All the answers you are looking for, all the vibrational energy you need, all of your potential is locked away in your Saboteur’s Domain.
Your Saboteur holds the Key to the Secret Kingdom in your heart. If you attract the Wolf in Sheep’s clothing instead of the Knight in Shining Armor, the reason is that a “Disappointment Magnet” is alive and well in your vibration.
Find out how to Demagnetize your Disappointment Magnet.
Don’t wait another moment to attract the love you ache for. You can magnetize yourself to love….you just need to know how!
Here are 5 action steps to Demagnetize Yourself From Disappointment:
1. Accept that a part of you wants you to stay single and safe. I know that is hard to take, but it is completely true. The more it annoys you to think about it, the truer it is.
2. Acknowledge that you have manifested singleness. It isn’t getting any easier is it? You, yes you have created your single life style. It may not have been your conscious intent to be single, but you can’t argue with the reality of your current single experience. A glance at your ringless left hand reveals the truth.
3. Align yourself with teachers and mentors who teach inner healing. Fear of being hurt again is a terrible burden to bear. There are literally hundreds of coaches, healers and teachers out there ready and able to help you change your mind about the rat bastards in your past.
4. Allow yourself to let go…once and for all. I know that Ex broke your heart. Good grief, everyone within 100 miles knows he broke your heart. You must find a way to stop telling the story of your loss. You are the only one who can make the choice to move forward.
5. Act as if you are already loved and adored. This isn’t so hard, the key is to take your eye off of romantic love for a moment. For one week, stay alert to the people who cross your path. Notice random acts of kindness coming your way. Make eye contact with service people you run into.
The Universe is bound and determined to connect you to love, set an intention to NOTICE love in your daily life. I guarantee you will see it.
I know that disappointment has broken your heart. I talk to people nearly every day just like you. Your Saboteur wants you to believe that you are the only person that has been hurt like this. LOL. Come on. Reach out for help, you will be glad you did.
Curious about your Saboteur? http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and find out for yourself.
PS You can retrain your brain and change the neural pathways that are stuck in the rut of self hating thoughts.
PPSS The lonelier you are, the more your brain is feeding you ugly thoughts about yourself. No wonder Fear of Disappointment is such a strong force!
“I never ever felt attractive.” she whispered quietly.
Janet Jackson was interviewed recently by ABC’s Meredith Vieira and I was touched by her story. This Diva, who exudes confidence, sexuality and drama while on stage, is a classic Rapunzel…trembling in emotional pain behind the walls of her confident public self.
In the eye opening interview, Jackson was open and vulnerable, frequently in tears in her recollections. How could this be? Beautiful, talented and brilliant Janet Jackson, feeling unattractive. What hope is there for the rest of us?
As is true with many Rapunzels, Janet misinterpreted and personalized the cruel teasing of family and friends. Instead of seeing that the teasers were just being stupid and spouting off, she took in the words like seeds and those seeds grew into a tangle of strangling low self-esteem.
Unable to withstand the harshness of the teasing, she steadily created a cocoon of safety around her heart. When Rapunzel is finally ready to try love, that energetic and very efficient armor is not able to let the seeds of real love get through and grow.
“You fat cow.” (I know, heartbreaking, isn’t it?) Those awful seeds sunk deeply into Janet’s heart. Who wouldn’t want to raise a shield three feet thick?
These and the hundreds of other harmful words thrown carelessly her way built a tower of unlovableness, self hatred and self denial. You see, Rapunzels are hyper-sensitive in many dimensions and fear the pain of disappointment more than they even know.
Each thought of pain, betrayal and abuse strengthens the tower that holds a Rapunzel away from True Love! Even though the offending event was years ago, today’s thoughts hold the same energetic charge….it is like reliving the awfulness again and again.
Can you relate? Do you feel like a Rapunzel? There is something important you need to know. You can be fully loved and still protect your heart. As your old tower is being dismantled, you get to have a fabulous new one, designed perfectly for you! The Divine knows that you need tender loving care and deep protection.
Your new tower is built out of bricks of light. Each brick a piece of real world evidence that good fortune and positivity really do exist. Keep watching for the concrete evidence that the Divine is in this with you. They are like the breadcrumbs leading you to your True Love.
You will always have your Inner Crystal Tower. The bricks are made out of the times you notice good coming your way, the mortar is your new beliefs. The resulting new tower is tall, strong and flexible.
As a Rapunzel, it may not be fair, but it is true, you need to have a bit more strategy when you approach love. Because you feel safest in an extremely quiet environment, you need to plan for that. If you attract a man who doesn’t understand that, it will never work.
The trick is how to tell him in a way that feels like a win for both of you. Your ideal man is a man who will listen to you and respond with questions and not criticism. You are the most sensitive of all the Saboteurs. Be brave and tell the people who love you what you need to hear to feel loved. They will treasure this info!
A change in language, that is the words you use to express yourself, will guarantee an inner feeling of security that will anchor you. Here is what I mean:
You: Baby, we need to talk.
Him: (Visible pulling back, thinking ‘What’d I do?’) Uh..OK.
You: (Throat closing) I feel smothered. You are always around. I can’t breathe sometimes.
Him: (Closing down quicker than an umbrella salesman in New York when the rain disappears.) Uh..
You: It is not that I don’t love you. I do. I love and adore you. (Tears start to fall)
Him: (Scared, hurt and confused) Let’s talk later baby. (Knowing he never will)
You: (Cruelly yelling at yourself inside for even bringing it up) I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry.
What’s going on? You are both hitting panic mode and panic attracts panic. This is self sabotage at its awful best. Inner mechanisms that are on automatic. Being open to another has had disastrous consequences over and over. Rapunzel, deeply sensitive, takes these the hardest of all Saboteurs.
That is why it is critical that you start using a new language to tell the story of what you want. Your own ears need to hear a realistic and hopeful story about what is possible….in words you can trust and believe.
Once you form your magnetic statements from these new words, your Saboteur will relax her hold and you will draw more and more good to your life.
Here are some examples, see if you can feel the difference between each:
“I need to be with a man who is financially well off and can buy me anything I want.”
“I want a man who is good with money and exquisitely generous with me.”
“I need time to myself and I don’t want to attract a needy man who smothers me.”
“I want a man who values time alone and honors my need for solitude and peace.“
If I could speak to Janet Jackson, this is what I would tell her:
Girl, you are one tough cookie. Like a fragile violet, you have done your best to shine in a hostile environment and you have done an amazing job. But, as a Rapunzel, you will always need a place of safety and retreat, even when you are with your True Love.
This is the secret of sustaining a relationship instead of sabotaging it. Take the time to build that Inner Tower. Collect evidence of positivity and brick by brick you will create an Inner Sanctuary that only you can enter.
This Inner Tower will give you the feeling of security you have always longed for. You are a delicate one, yes that is true. But delicate is steel strong at its core. Fragile is simply a mindset and a mindset can be changed.
When you find your Inner Tower you will finally feel your value and see yourself as your fans do. You are so deeply loved and when you accept yourself as deeply, love will flood into your life.
Time to rally Rapunzels! Are you really ready for true love? Check your tower, is it dark and cold or filled with light and hope? Only you can pick the day the tower comes down and lets the light of love come in. Let your dreams for love energize you to get what you are longing for.
Could you be a Rapunzel? Take the Saboteur Survey and find out: http://budurl.com/lovesabotage
Attention Rapunzels, Snow Whites, Sleeping Beauties and Scarletts:
You are invited to Sabotage 911: Practical Steps To Re-vibe Your Love Vibe. This three hour virtual retreat is just what the doctor ordered to evict the ghosts of boyfriends past from your heart…once and for all! Check here for deets: Sabotage 911
“Nice.” Marisol swerved to miss the annoying car on the freeway. “What a jerk. Learn how to drive!” Flashing her middle finger as she zoomed by in her BMW convertible.
Marisol is an M.D. and a good one. She is known for being overly thorough, doesn’t leave the office until after 9 every night and is still single at 48.
A love of fashion is finally paying off as she has enough money to dress in the latest styles. Marisol looks like a complete success, but…..
A closer look reveals something else. Marisol is so careful, so overly hyper-vigilant, she can barely breathe. Her ‘corset’ is her inflexible belief system.
She longs to be loved but has no time for dating. The men she does attract are weak and needy and she is sick and tired of being their mother!
A control freak? Yes, and so ironic because Marisol, a true Scarlett, feels like the biggest fraud in the world. Sure she has a great wardrobe, she also has a ton of credit card debt.
Yes, she is the envy of the women at the hospital, they see her life as perfect. Yet, her nightly trip to a dark condo after work is a lonely journey she hates with a passion.