Says Ashley Hebert, the current Bachelorette at the time of this writing. After

from Buzzsugar.com

a contrived “breakup” with Bentley, he only came on the show to cause problems, she was shaken to the core by how she fell for someone not interested in her.

I wonder if she went through the inner gauntlet of self doubt the rest of you do wondering what she did wrong. Did she ask herself what she did or said that turned him off?

Did she rake herself over the coals for being too affectionate, too open, too vulnerable? I know the Bachelor is a made up show…but her feelings are easily felt by the audience and isn’t that the point?

What I do know for sure is this. If you are forming your goals for love when you are “terrified of making a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life,” you are not likely to find the right man.  Fear is never the best ground to plant seeds of new relationship.

I also know that my feelings will be hurt by life. I know that as much as I adore my husband, he will do and say things that hurt my feelings…simply because it reminds me of a painful past experience.  Like a flashback, even an innocent gesture can flip the switch in my body and panic, doubt and fear still wash over me.

What is different between me and Ashley is that I have learned that when the fear and panic comes, I see the link to past hurts, I take the steps to heal those ancient stories and I can survive fear when it appears.

How about you, can you relate to our Bachelorette? Have you ever wanted to give up? Is your vision board yellowing? Is it heart breaking to watch another friend have a baby or get married?

I have a feeling no one knows how brave you are being each time you sign another wedding gift card. Seeing your single peer group shrink can be as frightening as Ashley’s experience.  During times when you are really down, when you are in an energetic slump, doing your LOA practice can feel like climbing the side of a sky scraper.

Secretly, don’t you want to say F**K the Law of Attraction some days?  You can ‘fess up, I won’t tell.

At the very time you need to pick a practice that will distract and/or entertain you enough to snap out of it, cynicism rushes in and your self talk gets mean and petty. What are you going to do?

Listen to this recording for a quick 3 Step Love Magnetizing Process that is ideal for reviving your hopes and getting you back on the road to your soul mate.

http://cat3733.audioacrobat.com/download/3StepMagnetizingProcess.mp3

I know the stink of disappointment. Ha…Now that is a great typo!! I wanted to write sting. LOL Disappointment DOES stink. I hate it. No, I can’t say that is true. What is true is that I hate how I feel when it happens. The slump in energy feels awful and the doubts that come along just to make things interesting, feel even worse.

So what to do? Find an Attraction Buddy. Trust one person to be your go to person. Tell her that you are out of sorts and need a partner to help you shake the gloomies. Tell her you need about 15 minutes.

This is not about you bitching about your lonely life or her giving you advice. This is about recognizing when you are losing your grip on the commitment to the Law of Attraction principles you decided on.

Your Attraction Buddy is aware of your desire for a mate and is willing to be there for you when you need her to. Tell her up front what it is all about. Then, when you are out of sorts, you call and tell her. She then has the simple job of asking you why. You think about it and answer what comes up.

She asks you, “Why does that trouble you?” You answer with whatever comes up. She simply repeats this question until you get some sort of aha.

These ahas are not understood with the intellect. You will have a thought that is so novel, it will be a tangible aha. Try it.

Meanwhile, don’t decide your future being afraid, listen in on the recording for another easy process to shift into Love!  And if you know Ashley, tweet this to her, will you?

Has a breakup left you feeling lost and alone?  Check out http://BreakupCandy.com for support.

Is that normal?

When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn’t see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.

“I think I am really in love. He makes me feel amazing. Every time we are together, I want to be with him more and more. We laugh and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed with our clothes on. But I don’t WANT to have sex with him. Isn’t that weird????”

She was talking really fast and I could feel her excitement. “Last night we had a long talk about sex, about what we like and don’t like, fantasies and stuff like that. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex.”

“I burst out laughing and said no, I’m not ready and I wasn’t afraid to tell him.”

Then she collapsed in a fit of giggling. “ME!!” She howled, “Me turning down sex!!”

“Are you attracted to him?” I asked.

“That’s the crazy thing,” she said, “He is so handsome! I can’t stop thinking about him and I want to be with him all the time.”

Genevieve’s delight is so tangible, I replay her story over and over in my mind. In a way, when you befriend your saboteur, it is as if your sweet fourteen year old self, the one that was so terribly hurt and disappointed in love all those years ago, is being given a second chance.

I remember Ruby, a Chinese Rapunzel with limited English skills. Coaching her was a challenge as I broke down the steps of breakup recovery into words she could understand. Ruby had met a man on Match.com and after 4 months of happiness, found out he was married.

She knew he lived in a different state. She accepted that he was only in her town for business every couple of weeks. She also was completely blindsided when she found out he was married. As she told me her story, here is a key point:

“In my country, you fall in love first and then you have sex. In your country, you have sex first and then fall in love. I don’t understand.”

No, I said to Ruby, you have it right! You SHOULD be in love before you have sex. Your people have it right. Not because it is morally right or wrong, that is not what this is about. The reason to love first is about hearing from your inner senses, feeling your way along so you know exactly who to sleep with when you do.

Genevieve had slept with so many men, her inner guidance was disconnected. In true Rapunzel fashion, she careened from relationship to relationship having great sex but never connecting with the men in a meaningful way.

Now, with this new man, everything is different. He thrills her. She loves him and she is in no hurry to have sex. Is it normal? Yep, it is for Genevieve. As I ask her every time we speak, how does this feel to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you when you are with him? How happy are you just thinking about him?

As long as you feel your way through opening up to a man and keep yourself feeling high on your scale of happiness, you cannot go wrong. I promise.

What you can’t possibly know when you are a young, is how impossibly delicious the time is before you have sex with someone you adore. It is a time that cannot be restored.  Making it last as long as possible is your goal!

So what do you do? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! I have been married for 5 years now and I still go back to that time to refuel my appreciation for my Larry. I was living about 45 minutes away from him and we were falling in love quickly. I remember watching out the window for his car. I remember seeing it turn down the street.

My heart started to pound. I was so excited he was coming. I made myself wait for a few moments before I answered the door bell even though I wanted to run out and meet him in the parking lot.

He smelled really good and l remember how the fabric of his yellow turtle neck felt under my fingers. We were laying on the couch together looking into each others eyes. The edge between risk of falling in love again and the undeniable physical chemistry drove our enchantment with one another.

I am so happy we had that time. Just like Genevieve and Ruby, I lost a lot of innocence when I was young. Love was twisted and painful in the players on the stage of my life. Blah, blah, blah…who of us doesn’t have drama in the past.

Now, when I see the parts of my husband that are cross and anxious and I dodge for cover, I don’t freak out anymore. I go back to that day in early autumn of 2004 and imagine myself running my hand up Larry’s chest, feeling the softness of his beautiful yellow turtleneck and every single time, I get a flood of the same feelings I had on that day and I love him like that all over again.

So, darling Genevieve, you are learning a new normal for yourself, and you are doing just fine! You are open and curious about your man and all of the loving feelings you are feeling for him are like bread crumbs leading you home.

Love Sabotage will not betray you.  If after 4 months, you are not feeling it for him, you will know clearly and you will be able to move on.

What you can count on is this. If this man is not your forever man, he is SO close that when the right one does find you, it will be even better. I promise.

Wonder if you are a Rapunzel?  Maybe you are a Snow White or Scarlett O’Hara. These principles work for everybody!  Get your Love Sabotage Assessment right here:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

I really hate to admit this but, I resent Scarlett.

There.  I said it.  Maybe that is why the Scarletts in my life dodge me.  Maybe they can feel it.  It really isn’t fair, I mean, Scarlett can’t help how direct, short tempered and passionate she is.  No more than Snow White can help how patient, accommodating and sweet she is.  How do these love sabotage patterns hold us back from happiness?

Why is it that our very natures bug each other and cause all kinds of relationship drama?

It all starts years ago where all Saboteurs are born, during the teen age years.  Young women are thrust into the crazy social whirlwind of junior high when they are painfully ill equipped to deal with each other.  Raging insecurity rules the day and even the girls who LOOK like they have it going on, struggle with low self esteem.

The time between 13 and 23 is bone chillingly painful for most women. Girls are mean to each other.  I remember watching my daughter go through some terrible times during those years.  Seeing her struggle pulled the strings of my own ancient history.

Ironically, many of us start ACTING like the girls that we think are more acceptable  than we are and that ‘false’ self is at the heart of today’s Love Sabotage habits.  There is nothing harder than projecting a persona that is not your real self.  So why do I resent Scarlett?

I was so jealous of the beautiful, confident and dramatic Scarletts that were popular in my high school. I was way outside the in crowd and felt invisible. I think that is why I became a chameleon.  I was desperate to be accepted.   Now I know how very much we all have in common and I am determined to be my real self no matter what.

I also realize that it isn’t Scarlett that I resent. Scarlett is just a shadowy figure that some girls put on to protect their tender hearts.  I realize that each of us only want one thing….to be loved and accepted.

Here are 5 lessons, words to the wise, from Scarlett herself:

1.  I am not mean! You just let people get away with murder!  You are so nice to everyone even the ones who are mean to you and treat you like dirt.  Don’t be afraid of hurting people’s feelings.  If something is not right, speak up.  You are the one who teaches other people how to treat you. (Thanks Dr. Phil) I only look mean because you don’t understand me.

2. Don’t be upset if some people don’t like you. I don’t waste one red hot second worried that some people don’t like me.  I know who my friends are and I don’t care that some people don’t get me. You try so hard to get everyone to like you and that seems fake to me.  I may not like it all the time, but I respect people being real with me.  No one can be that sweet all the time.

3. Don’t try to be like me. Be yourself.  Secretly I envy how easy going you are.  I know I am sharp and abrupt sometimes but that is only when I am fried. Once I set a goal I go full throttle after what I want.  I don’t mean to bowl people over, it is just my passion and determination to move forward that drives me.   Speak your mind to me and don’t fudge.  I appreciate that more than you know! (see #5 below)

4. I am softer inside than you would ever guess. I have been misunderstood my whole life.  It hurts my feelings when women gang up against me and think I am mean.  It is really hard for me to be seen as weak and wishy washy.  I am not good at asking for what I need and sometimes I cut off friends before they cut me out.  I  get hurt way easier than anyone knows.  Try to see my side of things and don’t try to change me.

5. I more insecure than you know, I just don’t show it. If I hurt your feelings, here is what to do.  I get really lonely and I want to feel connected.  If you say this to me, I have a better chance of hearing your heart.  “I know you care for me and you would never intentionally hurt me, but when you__________________________________, I felt disconnected from you and I value our friendship.”  Even though I have a take no prisoners attitude about most things, I do treasure my close friends and they know the real me.

Bottom line?

The most successful relationships happen when people are REAL. I know that is no surprise, but walking it out can be tricky.  I LOVE Scarlett!!  I need her sass and spark.  I used to resent her because I didn’t understand why I didn’t fit into her crowd.  Knowing how insecure she is some times helps me understand her and I can stop trying to change her to fit my expectations.

“I thought we had something real.” Jen sobbed.

“He was the most romantic man I had ever been with. He was so polite and showered me with gifts and flowers.”

“I didn’t want to sleep with him yet, but he seemed so perfect.” Her voice cracked again.

“What happened,” I asked gently.

“He changed completely. He stopped texting first and then before I knew what happened, he started flirting with other girls on Facebook, and now…”

Jen started to weep on the line.

So how do you tell that the Knight in Shining Armor who has shown up is True Blue? How can you see the Wolves in Sheep’s clothing before you get bitten?

All the answers you are looking for, all the vibrational energy you need, all of your potential is locked away in your Saboteur’s Domain.

Your Saboteur holds the Key to the Secret Kingdom in your heart. If you attract the Wolf in Sheep’s clothing instead of the Knight in Shining Armor, the reason is that a “Disappointment Magnet” is alive and well in your vibration.

Find out how to Demagnetize your Disappointment Magnet.

Don’t wait another moment to attract the love you ache for. You can magnetize yourself to love….you just need to know how!

Listen in to this FREE audio coaching session:

PS You can retrain your brain and change the neural pathways that are stuck in the rut of self hating thoughts.

PPSS The lonelier you are, the more your brain is feeding you ugly thoughts about yourself. No wonder Fear of Disappointment is such a strong force! You can change that, I will tell you how!

Charlie Sheen is giving you a message that is hard to ignore.

This troubled star, the highest paid actor on TV today, is splashed all over the news trying to defend his life

deadline.com

Last night Piers Morgan, a friend and fan of Sheen’s, gave an hour of prime time attention to detail the conflict between the actor and his bosses at CBS.

Even a personal visit from Les Moonves, president of the network, had zero impact on Charlie’s actions off set. As he described the visit, Charlie seemed to feel that having Moonves at his kitchen table was completely normal.

So what does this have to do with your love life?

Everything.

Charlie Sheen is in trouble. He absolutely believes he is living a normal life. He sees the rest of the world as crazy for not seeing it. He rejects sobriety as “lame.” He is throwing away his career because drugs, alcohol and women are skewing his judgment.

And yet….his view of his life….as normal is just that…for him. His normal is so off kilter he can’t see it, even though all of us can. The people who love him (even though his circle of friends and supporters is shrinking quickly) suffer as they watch how unhappy he really is.

Take a look at your life. You are single. Your life is working out….sort of. You ache with loneliness, long to be cherished, wish for a husband and maybe even children but go through the motions pretending you are fine.

And just like Charlie Sheen, you are convinced that no one can understand and help you. You don’t even think you need help.

Don’t think so? How long have you been single? How many coaches or mentors have you worked with to solve your problem? Or do you think people who need help meeting a man are “lame.”

Here are 5 sure signs of denial in the relationship game:

1. Years since your last significant relationship.

2. Still angry and hurt over an ex from your 20s.

3. A Date rape you never told anyone about.

4. Shame at needing relationship advice.

5. Spending more money on plastic surgery, shape wear, cosmetics and wardrobe than you do on your heart and its scars from long lost love.

Next time you see Charlie Sheen on the cover of a tabloid or on the evening news, ask yourself… Am I living in la la land?

Is my life passing me by?

Am I REALLY ok being single?

Learn a lesson from the King of Sabotage himself and get the help you need to get the love you really want. Your life is really in your own hands.

xoxo

Tune in Thursday, March 3 to learn Three Sabotage Secrets your Saboteur Does NOT Want You To Know.  Take a step today to end your own sabotage so you can find the love of your life. Click right here:   I am Ready For Love…I really am!

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life Once and For All

The time is right to let go of a few of the ghosts of boyfriends past.

Don’t think you have any?  Here is how to check it out:

Think of a past breakup. Remember one particularly difficult day, perhaps a time when he said or did something especially hurtful. How bad was it at the time?  On a scale of 1 to 10, how intense was it?  Does it still have a sting today?  How strong is it on a scale of 1 to 10?

If you still feel sad, hurt or angry, guess what. You are still plugged into that very day energetically. It is like a part of yourself is living it over and over and over again.  This “ghost” from the past needs to go or Love will never find you.

Believe it or not, there is one simple idea that will change everything for you.

As simple as it sounds, the insight that will transform your love life forever is this:

The real barrier to attracting love is not outside you, but inside you in the hands of your Saboteur.

Even though you long for love, a part of you is sure it is impossible to have a truly great relationship. As a result, you actually push love away, repelling the wonderful men who are perfect matches—without even realizing it.

Once you can identify these inner obstacles to love and release yourself from the painful past, you’ll finally become magnetic to the love of your life.

Don’t spend one more minute just wishing for love!

Your deepest heart’s desire is possible.  You can learn to change your luck in love.  You just need the tools to retrain your brain so you trust yourself to fall in love once again!

When you learn how to End Love Sabotage, you will meet a whole different caliber of men. Once you prove to yourself that you are ready, the rest is easy.

Find out:

* Why you keep going back to the men who have broken up with you

* How to know if the man you are with is the One or if you should move on

* Where to look for your Soul Mate

* How to instantly change your mood whenever you need to

* How to find the real culprits…the grand daddy beliefs that are keeping love out of your life and releasing them once and for all!

* How to speak Sabotese:  The Language of Attraction that Your Saboteur Will Trust and Embrace

* How to set an intention for love that works

* The biggest mistake you’re making when it comes to men and how to stop making it

* How to activate your personal magnetism to draw your new love toward you instead of sending him to the arms of another

* Why Affirmations don’t work and tools you need to create powerful Magnetic Statements that get real results

* How to awaken and engage your intuition and imagination so you work With Universal Laws, not against them.

*Now that your love vibe is changing what to do differently to meet Mr. Right

The End Love Sabotage System is the driving force in the Soul Mate Success Circle. Every week there is a teleseminar event and students are invited to participate every call.  Not only that, for a small fee, you can take a risk free trial to see if it is what you are looking for:

Check it out for $9.97 for first month

then $47 monthly. (Value: $197 per month)

Click Here To Register:

Imagine a “Love Vitamin” to start your day.

Even though it is only a minute and a half, this video is a high vibrating tuning fork for your Love Vibe!

See if you feel warm, tingly or excited with happiness when you see it….breathe into the feelings. Enjoy them. How strong are they? Can you ‘turn up the volume’ and maximize the feeling? If you want to deepen the experience, tap on the collar bone point as you are watching.

If you feel sad or annoyed at the video…what an ‘aha’! That is your Saboteur reminding you of how hard your path toward love has been. Don’t despair! I am planning a one day class in March to help!!

When you are truly ready for love, you will feel it with your heart. Trust your Inner Being to lead you to your Heart’s Desire.

Snow White? Or maybe Rapunzel. Could Scarlett O’Hara be your sabotage style? Take the http://budurl.com/lovesabotage and find out right now!

Does your score card for Valentine’s Day have more losses than wins?

Did it start back in grade school when you didn’t get as many cards as the other kids?

Have you ever been dumped right before the big day?

Did you know that more breakups happen in January than any other month?

This time of year can be pretty tough and I have a feeling that you have seen more than your share of drama and trauma.  If cynicism, disappointment or remorse is creeping into your Valentine’s Day Mindset, it doesn’t feel very good does it.

If you feel snarky and lonely and annoyed at just about everything, these days, you might have S.A.D. (Seasonal Alignment Disorder). Here are a few symptoms:

* You gag at a kiss belongs to Kaye Jewelry commercials.

* You hate the greeting card companies for conspiring with the florists to feed the egos of the sappy girls who don’t even know how to appreciate the men they have.

* You remember the boyfriend who cheated and betrayed you and make snarky comments about his new girl.

* You rent a sappy romance and watch it with a box of kleenex, a pound of chocolate and a bottle of red wine and have a pity party.

* You say you don’t care this year because you need to lose 10 pounds like someone would want to be with you now anyway.

* You think what year it is and you wonder…”Is it too late for me?” and “Why is it fair that girl gets to have her man?” or “Can I still have a family?”

Sound familiar? Don’t give up. You can put the S.A.D. monster into its place. All you need is to find something to distract your self.  When you get control of your thinking you can remind yourself that you are doing really very well, (you are you know).

Keeping yourself magnetized for love when you are feeling blue or when your chips are down is possible. You just need to know how to break through your self sabotage habits so you can finally open your heart again.

As Abraham Hicks repeats tirelessly, once you get your self back into alignment, you will always feel so much better! In English?  Don’t let yourself wallow in the dreaded victim vibe.  Find your True Love Saboteur and seduce her into cooperating with you.

I want to help you feel better about love so I have a special no cost resource for you! I recorded  a special Valentine’s Day 911 call, actually two of them, and they are my gift to anyone who wants to Feel Loved on Valentine’s Day.

Whether you are a Snow White, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty or Scarlett O’Hara, you will profit from this recording. Each type learns a bit differently and all can learn from each other. A little laughter, a little teaching and a virtual hug keeps your love magnet vibing strong.

I answered lots of your questions about attracting love and the Law of Attraction.  Watch for future calls, I would love to meet you too!

Just register right here and you will get instant access to the two recordings from Valentine’s 911 in 2011.

♥  ♥  ♥

Are you still broken hearted from your ex three exes ago?   Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! Get the break through you need. For only $47 you can listen in and work with me monthly in virtual coaching events. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly    answering questions and leading text EFT tapping. I’d love to meet you there!  SoulMateSuccessCircle

Do you want to make 2011 the year you finally find your true love?

If the answer is yes, I’m excited to be letting you in on a special announcement that everyone who’s looking for love needs to hear.

Starting this Valentine’s Day, 21 of the worlds leading love experts are coming together online to guide you through a step-by-step program to magnetize the love of your life.

It’s absolutely FREE . . . and it’s happening right here—on your computer.

It’s called The Ultimate SOULMATE Summit and it’s being hosted by two of my dear friends, who also happen to be two of the world’s leading experts on attracting love—Arielle Ford & Claire Zammit.

You can read all about it and register for free here

=========================

What makes this love event so special?

=========================

This group of the world’s top authors, teachers, transformation experts and coaches all have one thing in common: they have devoted their lives to “cracking the codes” to attracting and sustaining BIG love. Each of them holds a transformational key that will help you attract and create the kind of love your heart longs for.

You’ll learn first-hand from experts like Dr. John Gray, Debbie Ford, Neale Donald Walsh, Dr. Helen Fisher, Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks, Katherine Woodward Thomas, Alison Armstrong, Christan Carter and more.

Never before have so many experts in the field of love and relationships gathered in one place to help you discover exactly what you need to do to overcome the barriers that are keeping you from attracting the love of your life. You’ll:

* Finally take the guesswork out of finding a Soulmate!

* Discover a simple series of proven steps that you could take to attract a loving, committed, sacred partnership, not just with anyone, but with “the one.”

* Learn these time-tested secrets from 21 of the world’s top experts without paying a dime

To make 2011 the year you find your Soulmate, I encourage you to take advantage of this opportunity right now and register for the event today.

Remember… the event is FREE and it’s all from the comfort of your own home.

We look forward to seeing you at the Ultimate Soulmate Summit!

PS: Remember, the Ultimate Soulmate Summit is brought to you at no charge. Plus, when you register today, you’ll get a free virtual Gift Bag with added bonuses from Dr. John Gray, Marci Shimoff, The Soulmate Secret & Calling in “The One”.

PPS: Help us “share the love” and forward this email to your single friends, colleagues and family members- they’re sure to appreciate the invitation.

The Ultimate Soulmate Summit

Shhhhh.   This is one of your True Love Saboteur’s secret weapons…she knows that without these two words, your soul mate search can’t get any traction. Don’t tell her I spilled the beans, ok?

There are two words that pretty much guarantee your success in finding a mate.

Two little words that can make all the difference in the world.  Without these two words in your vocabulary, you are doomed to repeat the crummy old pattern and your single life gets slowly but surely cemented in place.  What are they? continue