The Answer May Surprise You.

Hey Guys,

Have an ex stalking you?

Why is it that a break up is only a break up for you?  Why won’t she just get it and stop texting you, calling you and showing up at your haunts?

There is an important step you can take that will cut off the relationship in a tangible way. Without this step, you just can’t finish the job and move on.  How do I know?

I was one of those very women.  After my marriage stumbled and crumbled, I met a fabulous man who seduced me with amazing skill.  I adored the attention.  He made me feel beautiful and sexy again.  The chemistry was red hot….the sidewalk could have melted under my feet.

We had 6 weeks of passionate and thrilling love making both in person and on the phone.  How much easier it would have been had he simply told me from the get go that he was looking for a sexual partner. Without that important piece of information, I read all kinds of meaning into his attention.  I began planning a future with him.  Big mistake.

He withdrew faster than a shooting star and disappeared.  Ouch.  Neither of us knew the power of the bonding hormones that trigger clinginess in women.  Guys, if you don’t want a woman clinging to you….wait before you invite her to bed.  We ladies become highly future focused after sex.  It is hard wired in us.

I watched my phone for text messages. I sent cute messages to try to attract the magic we had.  I was a pest and a pill. Ouch.  Now that I look back, seven years now, there is nothing left there.  I have moved on, even though it took monumental effort to disengage myself energetically and get him out of my mind.

Could he have helped me?  Yes, I think he could have.  Had he taken steps to cut the emotional and energetic ties between us.  I believe I would have lost interest sooner.

The moral of the story?  If you have an ex-girlfriend who is stalking you, you can do something about it.  Here are three practical steps:

1.  Write her a letter never to be sent. Tell her clearly and firmly that you are breaking the energetic ties between you.  As you write, allow yourself to imagine cutting the ties with her.  Send her good will and appreciation for the part of herself she trusted with you.  Once the letter is written, burn it.

2.  Visualize yourself and your ex separate and happy. At night before sleep, visualize your ex in a city a thousand miles away from you.  See her with another man.  See her happy and fulfilled.  If this is hard for you, it is even more necessary.  Part of you may enjoy her attention and you need to deal with this.

3.  Spend time alone for awhile before starting a new relationship. What did you learn from this ex?  Did she seem to change over time?  Did you?  As you evaluate what happened, you may want to create a new game plan for moving on and into a new relationship.  Learn about women in general.  We don’t mean to be obtuse.  It may be hard to figure us out, but I promise you, it is worth it!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

“Everyone who turns up in your life–from the people you call friends and lovers, to the people you call enemies and strangers–comes in response to your Vibration. You not only invite the person, but you also invite the personality traits of the person.

Many people have a difficult time accepting this as they think that many of the unwanted characteristics of the people in their lives and they argue that they would never have asked for something so unwanted to come into their experience…..We know that many of the relationships and experiences that you have attracted, you would not have deliberately attracted if you had been doing it on purpose, but much of your attraction is not done by deliberate intent, but rather by default.

It is important to understand that you get what you think about, whether you want it or not.  And chronic thoughts about unwanted things invite or ask for matching experiences, every time.  The Law of Attraction makes it so.”

Abraham Hicks, The Vortex, page 21

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

“We want you to remember that while you are focused here in this Leading Edge physical experience, you also have an Eternal, non-physical, older, wiser part of you that exists in the Vortex and is always available to you.

This Vibrational Relationship between the physical you and the non-physical you is significant for these important reasons:”

1.  The emotions that you feel (your Emotional Guidance System) are because of the relationship between the physical you and the non-physical you.

2.  As you reach for new thoughts to get back into the Vortex, you have the benefit of the stable knowledge of your Non-Physical counterpart.

3.  As you reach for new thoughts to get back into the Vortex, you have the benefit of the confidence that your Non-Physical counterpart is always in the Vortex waiting for you to come into alignment again.

4.  Every other relationship you have (that is with other people, with animals, with your own body, with money, with concepts and ideas, with life itself) is profoundly affected by this all important relationship between you and You.

5.  Everything you are wanting, your deepest desires, are in the Vortex waiting for you.  When you are feeling relaxed, calm and happy, that is the evidence that the non-physical and physical parts of you are in alignment.  That is when the magic happens!

Abraham Hicks, The Vortex, page 13

Ready for LOVE?  http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and find out!

The feeling of connection that people are looking for, the exhilaration of being with someone with their hearts soaring, really is not a function of the person you are with, but instead it is a function of your own Connection with You.  We would prefer to think of Soul Mate as you mating, or consciously connecting, with your own Soul or Source or Inner Being or Self.  When you in your physical moment and time, are offering a similar vibration to your Inner Being, you have indeed found your Soul Mate. And if you consistently do that, the people who will gravitate to you will be enormously satisfying in nature.

In fact, one of the fastest ways to make your way to a wonderful relationship is to find any subject that consistently feels good, and focus on that even if (from Catherine….especially if) it has nothing to do with relationships.

Abraham Hicks  “The Vortex” page 43

“You could always fill out those annoying coupons and subscribe her to fifteen magazines,” Dan chirped in his forever positive voice.

“That’s not helpful,” Molly sniped at him. He reached over to pull her into a hug. She was stiff in his arms. “I just can’t understand it.” she sighed “How can she not have anything good to say….even now….especially now.”

“Come here, darlin’, let it go…let it go.” In his arms, she let herself soften and receive his love….

It had been a phenomenal day. Her composition had been selected and she was booked at Carnegie Hall! The dream of a life time, well at least her life time, she had seen herself on stage at Carnegie Hall, the crowd on its feet applauding like fiends, ever since she was a little girl. And now, after all the years, tears and trauma it was happening.

Molly bought flowers from the street vendor, got an expensive red from the Wine Cellar (her favorite shop) and a couple of beautiful New York strips from the Italian butcher shop. It was time for a celebration, and she couldn’t wait to get home to tell Dan.

He didn’t disappoint. “Baby, I am so proud of you!” He picked Molly up and spun her around. “I know how hard you have worked for this.” Burying her head in his shoulder she whispered, “I love you so much…so much.”

“Let’s crack open the cabernet and get this party going,” Dan said. “Did you let your mom know?” “I sent her an email.” Molly said. “Haven’t heard back from her yet, but look what the mom of one of my students sent me.” She ran to the computer and pulled up an email. “Read this!” she said excitedly:

“You HAVE to teach at the University level, a composition class! – God has given you an amazing gift, and the beauty of your music is getting deeper and deeper. What a story teller you are with the piano. You can take any of your pieces and in any scenario whatsoever and take your listener through the different emotions- -anywhere from rage to love, from tears to forgiveness. No holds barred. You really need to be on national television.”

Dan beamed with pride. “That’s terrific, honey!” And lifted his wine glass to toast her!

“Uh-oh” she said, “There is an email from my mom.”

“Don’t open it right now, Baby, just wait for awhile.”

“No,” Molly took a deep breath and clicked the email link, “I want to see what she has to say about my news.”

“Darling, I still feel the phrasing would be better in the twentieth bar if you changed the chording the way I suggested. I don’t know if I will be able to be at Carnegie, but I will see what I can do. Nice job!”

Shoulders slumping, it was as if she imploded, something on the inside of her collapsing and pulling all the celebration into an ancient black hole in her heart. Again. No matter how hard she worked, her mom always found the one weak spot and shined a bright light on it.

“How can she not congratulate me? I’ll never be good enough for her.”

“We could hire a thug and duct tape her to a street sign.” Dan tried to nudge her sense of humor.

“That’s not funny, Dan, I am trying to feel sorry for myself here!” And laughed in spite of herself. He was so cute!

“You know what really pisses me off?” Molly asked. “The fact that I am forty bleepin’ four years old and I still wilt like a violet in the desert when she criticizes me.”

“Why are you so hurt, darlin?” Dan said gently.

“Because she should care how I feel.” She said quietly.

“Why?”

“How else can I know she loves me?”

“I love you.” He whispered “And I am so proud of you. Your students love you and now there are hundreds of people who are going to love you when you perform at Carnegie.”

“I know,” Molly sighed. “You are right. Besides, I am proud of me! I had the best day of my life and I will not let any lame email steal that from me!”

“That’s the spirit!” Dan cheered. “Now let’s grill those steaks and get this party started.”

Snuggling in to her favorite spot in the nook of his shoulder she kissed his neck. “I don’t know what I would do without you, baby.”

Overcoming perfectionism is a bitch. Age old patterns of meticulously planning and executing projects to make sure every T is crossed and i is dotted drive like a cruel slave master. If you have a family member who callously brushes over your fabulous achievements, I feel your pain and I have a word of advice.

Use the pain. That is right. Use the pain. Take a breath and acknowledge the pain in you for a change and stop focusing on the person who “caused” the pain. A fantastic tool to use in moments like this is to journal conversationally using both hands.

What you say? Yes – both hands. Starting with your dominant hand, write this questions: “Why does this hurt so much?” then switch to your non-dominant hand and write whatever comes to your mind. You will be surprised how impactful this exercise can be.

When you write with your non-dominant hand, you actually “stretch” out your experience with the pain and you get to prove to yourself that you can handle it and move beyond it. Molly’s mom didn’t mean to hurt her daughter. Who knows why she was unable to celebrate with Molly?

Molly can make choices to grow through her need for her mom’s approval and change the dynamics of the relationship herself. While her mom may never say just the right thing, she can see that as a itty bitty blip on the radar of life, if she chooses! We’re proud of you, Molly and……break a leg!

Your Love Sabotage style impacts your family relationships too!  Be sure to take this free assessment so you can turn your all your relationships around! http://EndLoveSabotage.com