This message was sent to my http://Meetup.com group The Law Of Attraction and Soul Mates. We meet in San Diego and have a meeting this Saturday. For more info check out http://LOAinLove.com

Enjoy:

“My firm belief is that when a MAN meets a WOMAN that HE really, *really* likes, then HE will move heaven and earth to be with HER.

A quick phone call to say “hi” will not be a task HE has to try to find time to fit into HIS incredibly busy day of working and sitting through meetings HE doesn’t even want to attend, but an exciting, joy-filled moment purposefully snatched to bring sanity and reason to why HE is putting up with all the other BS.

Spending some time together will be something that becomes a priority simply because it brings HIM great happiness. No other reason needed. HIS need and willingness to shower HER with love, affection, and attention (or just be in HER space), to make HER feel special and cared for (liked, loved, whatever), will be in the forefront of HIS mind throughout HIS day, because seeing HER smile and hearing the happiness and excitement in HER voice is a measure of success HE lives by.

HE will be HER greatest cheerleader in life, certain SHE can walk on water with beauty, grace, and ease and HE will forever stand by HER side reminding HER how talented, brilliant, and accomplished SHE is and always will be.

And simply looking in HER eyes will remind HIM how special HE is to HER.

And, without a doubt, for ALL OF THE ABOVE, SHE will be all of that and more to HIM.”

Beautifully written, Thanks Tom!

He reached over and gently pulled her to his chest. One hand on the side of her head, the other around her waist.  “I love you,” he whispers into her ear.  “I love you.  How can I help you?  What can I do?”   She snuggled up into his neck as he bent down slightly so she could get close.

“This is it,”  She said. “This is it.  Hold me like this for just a little longer.  Let me settle into you for a minute.  Let me feel your arms, the weight of your arms, resting on me.  I love how I feel when you and I have these moments.  I feel loved and I feel like I want this more often.”

“Is there anything else you want me to know,” he said gently, one finger absent mindedly running itself through her hair and down her cheek.  “Yes,” She said, “I appreciate you. I feel lucky that we are with each other.  We have seen a challenge or two and we are doing ok.”  He tightened his grip and held her even more protectively.  “No matter what, we are going to be fine.” He whispered.  “No matter what.”

********************

Do you long for that kind of connection with your man? Were you drawn into the scene so deeply that you felt something in your belly tighten or upper chest start to ache? Tightness in the gut, an achy upper chest, pressure in the throat, these are all signs of a dip in personal magnetism.  The distress you feel physically is your signal that you are out of balance somewhere in your romantic life.
If it seems like the situation is pointing to the lack of a partner or the lack of lovingness  from a partner is the cause of the discomfort, look again. The fact is that if your magnetism is low, you stop attracting all kinds of positivity into our experience and it is easy to fall into despair.

So what can you do if you notice the pressure, tingling or warmth in your body?  Here are three ways to instantly move you out of the frame of mind so your body can naturally release the discomfort.  Every time you feel the relief from these body feelings, your personal magnetism goes up. Law of Attraction promises that you then attract all the loving treatment you are dreaming of.

1.    Go outside.  I know, so simple it is ridiculous.  Going outside and doing some stretches or better, taking a walk is the fastest most natural way to life your spirits.  Just ten minutes makes a world of difference.

2.    Call a friend. Tell your friend that you are a little blue and you wanted to cheer up so you called them.  Resist the temptation to vent for a minute and ask a couple of questions and see what is going on for them.  You will notice that you feel better right away when you engage in caring about some one else. Then reframe your experience with your friend.  Be real about your feelings but don’t dwell on them.  Get her support and then move on to another topic.

3.    Soak in the tub. Run a fragrant bath and soak.  Daydream as you relax.  If feelings continue to come forth, just lay your hand on your body and breathe, breathe, breathe.

Your body is doing its best to help you get over the disappointments that are muffling your natural personal magnetism. When you respond to your body in ever more conscious ways, you are well on your way to being IRRESISTIBLE!

Wonder how strong your Love Vibe is?  http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com and get your score instantly!

Moon lit dinner on the beach in Jamaica may not be on your radar this Valentines Day but don’t despair. Romance is not dependent on the economy and here are 10 winning ideas for you and your sweetheart this year.

1. One of my favorite Valentine’s day moments was when I sent my husband out to the market and while he was gone, I left rose petals from the front door to the bathroom where I had a bubble bath and a glass of champagne waiting for him.

2. Your local dollar store is a great holiday resource and you will find a great selection of house and table decorations to decorate your space.

3. Prepare a red meal…all food is red! Spaghetti, rare roast beef, cranberry sauce, cherry pie…use your imagination and your favorite cook book for inspiration.

4. L eave heart shaped notes in the places that your sweet heart will be sure to find them: in his shower, on the steering wheel of his car or in the morning newspaper. You can even find heart shaped post it notes at Staples.

5. Give your honey a special massage. Light candles, lay a heavy towel on the floor and put the massage oil in a bowl of warm water. Put on some relaxing music and knead the daily tension right out of him.

6. Take him to the imaginary beach by planning an indoor picnic. Fill a basket with cheese, bread and wine, lay a table cloth of the floor and bring out the backgammon board. Have a bottle of sun screen and a couple pair of sunglasses as props.

7. E mail him a list of the reasons you appreciate him.

8. Start a “What I Like About You Journal.” Keep it out in plain view and take turns adding to it. Try to write a couple of ideas every day.

9. Have a romantic dinner out….at home! Cook a favorite meal and then dress up as if you were eating out. Light the candles, put the music on and imagine you are in an exotic locale

10. Give him handmade coupons for personal favors you will give him when he presents them to you. Could be for anything from household chores he usually takes care of to snuggles and huggles. Use your imagination! Here is a link for some printable Valentine’s coupons: Printable Valentine’s Coupons

Above all remember, things may be tough right now and both of you may be under a lot of pressure, but you can still take time to connect to one another. It is more important now than ever to find simple ways to appreciate one another!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Would you like to use EFT to attract YOUR soul mate? Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! For only $47 you can listen in and tap along with me monthly in group coaching calls. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly answering questions and leading text tapping. Want to check it out?    SoulMateSuccessCircle

So your guy doesn’t tell you he loves you as much as you would like and you feel you can’t be happy without hearing those three little words more often.

I suggest a whole new approach in getting the love you want. Begin searching for the clues of your man’s devotion in his everyday behavior. You really do need to be a detective to do this.

Detectives collect evidence objectively and then analyze the clues for the answer. Objectively is the key word! Sometimes it is near impossible to stay objective when it comes to affairs of the heart, but you have read this far so I know I am talking to the right woman.

With tongue firmly in cheek, here are some clues that I have found in my own relationship, see if you can recognize similar things with your guy!

1. Micro-managing: What? I can just hear you say, “I hate being micro-managed”, I know, I do too! But, I have started to realize that he only micro-manages out of love. I used to be annoyed when I heard, “Don’t forget to lock the door.” Or ” It’s snowing out there and the roads are slippery, better drive slow!” Now I choose to see it differently. Translation: I love you!

2. Leaving his belongings around the house: Just think, he trusts that you won’t take, steal or destroy his stuff as it litters the house. Translation: I trust you.

3. His symphony of body noises: His ability to produce his noises no longer needs to be censored, what freedom. His freedom to be himself with you. Translation: I feel comfortable with you.

4. Sports on TV: Now you can run your errands, have coffee with a friend or go to the bookstore to read a current magazine. His attention to something other than you shows his trust that you will always be there for him. Translation: I adore you!

5. Weak Calendar Skills: Knowing you will remind him of important dates, he let’s go of the need to remember anniversaries and birthdays, especially the obscure ones like the first date. Translation: Every day is like a holiday with you, baby.

Ladies, your man loves you. He is becoming more and more comfortable with you and in his way, he is showing you love and acceptance.

While you may need to hear those three little words more often, if you continue to look for evidence of his regard for you in his comfort with you, it won’t be long before your acceptance of him will change the atmosphere in your home.

When you are feeling less stressed and insecure about the lack of love language from him, you will be able to ask for what you want. When you COACH your man into being a soul mate to you, he will be much more responsive than if you nag him into it.

Men are used to being coached. Coaching assumes mutual respect. Coaching also allows that the skill the coach is strengthening is already there, just undeveloped.

When he realizes that what you truly want is to FEEL more loved and that you are willing to learn more ways to get there than hearing those three little words, it won’t be long before he will actually be saying “I love you” because you have paved the way.

Your man loves you. With your Love Detective skills you will see more evidence every day and he will soften toward you as you accept him as he is.

Be A Love Detective Part 1

“My husband never says, I love you anymore.”

Why is it that men are so resistant to the “L” word?

Why is it that women are so addicted to it?

Does saying “I love you” really matter?

What? You say.

Of course it matters. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me.

Wait just a moment….did you say that a man cannot love you without saying I love you?

Think about that one for a minute.

Is it possible for a man to love you WITHOUT telling you so? And why is it so bleeping important to HEAR those three little words.

That being said, is it also possible that our addiction to hearing those three words closes us to other expressions of love that are right in front of our noses?

I want to throw another perspective unto the table.

What if we women could back off on our insistence that love be expressed on our terms and our terms only?

What if we could become Love Detectives and search out the clues that lead to our understanding of just how much our men DO care for us?

What if we could put aside our need to hear those words and instead begin celebrating the clues we find?

I am listening……

I can just hear some of you screaming in protest! “I already do most of the work and don’t want to be a Love Detective! I want him to shape up!”

I know, I know but believe me, your man will step up to the plate when you take some of the pressure off of him. Believe it or not, he is doing the best he can. He has no idea how to make you feel loved and you and I both know that men don’t like to be in situations where they may appear weak and clueless.

So what to do? Tune in next post and I will lay out the plan…..

“I am going to be in town for a couple of days and I would love to see you.” the familiar voice said hopefully.

Instantly I am flooded with emotions both good and bad. We had been broken up for a few months and I had been trying to evict him from my mind ever since.

Unbidden, thoughts about him and how hot the sex was, how beautiful I felt when I was with him, how romantic it was to sip wine at sunset, had been running through my mind for weeks. My brief fling with him had been the most fun I’d had in years!

Now here he was, breezing back into my life and inviting me to reconnect. I knew my friends would be shocked that I was even considering it, so I didn’t telling anyone he called. There were so many parts of our time together that were very good. Why did we break up anyway?

Does this ring a bell? This exact scenario happened for me several years ago and I chose to say no. It was an excruciating choice because the chemistry was ridiculous. (I would love to know why the wrong men can have such exciting chemistry…just not fair!) This is how it played out.

Gorgeous, exciting ex-flame is visiting my tiny apartment. Candles were lit, jazz was playing and he was doing his best to coax me into bed. “It is important to live in the moment,” he said to me, “Do what feels good now.” My new interest in The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle not withstanding, somehow I knew he was pushing his agenda over my lackluster objections.

I was so tempted. He had asked me for a back massage which, of course, I agreed. I loved touching him and what harm could it do? Ha! As I rubbed the oil on his back, he kept gently encouraging me to respond to my natural arousal and seal the deal. What a pickle!

Somehow, in the middle of this highly charged situation, I said to myself first and then to him, “Wait a minute. Just hold up here. I want to think about what is right for me.”

I went across the room, sat in a chair, closed my eyes and pleaded with my Inner Wisdom, “Please help me know what to do. I want this man but the red flags are waving madly! What should I do?”

I was hoping I would get a clear yes (dreamer!) or a clear no but what I got was the most amazing and calming answer.

“Whichever choice you make will be fine. You are going to be fine, no matter what.”

I laughed outloud and told him what I heard. He laughed too. I am sure he was hoping my Inner Guidance said yes, but he was absolutely wonderful when I told him I decided no. He had made it clear to me that he was not interested in a relationship with me and as much as I wished I could change his mind, I had to face the truth. Sex would be fun with him but I knew myself too well. I liked him more than that and a bootie call would send me into weeks of obsession! Bottom line, I want to be loved more than anything. Love has to be primary.

What about you? Are you facing a similar situation? A dear friend of mine always used to quip  “An ex is an ex for a reason” whenever I looked back at my ex-boyfriend. I would say the same to you. But, if you are not sure, here are three questions to ask yourself:

1. Do you feel a heart connection to this man? Do you really? Get quiet and allow the memories of your break up come back to you. On a scale of 1 to 10, how hurt and disappointed were you? If it is 6 or above. Stop for a moment and think about adding another disappointment to the mix. Does that work for you?

2. Are you obsessing about him? If you are, that is a symptom of an out of control mind. If you broke up, there was a reason for that. Jump into a new hobby or get outside and walk a couple of miles a day while listening to a book on tape. Take action to give your thirsty mind something to think about. An obsessive woman is not very attractive, not even to her friends.

3. What do your friends think? Trust your friends. Just like the Sex In The City girls, trust someone to talk to about this. Often your friends can see your situation more clearly. Yes, Carrie and Big got together, but that was a fairy tale. More times than not an ex is an ex for a reason and moving on is your best bet.

If you can’t get him out of your mind, don’t worry! There are lots of cool ways to occupy your mind while the next candidate comes across your path. Not to sound like my grandma but, there really are a lot of fish in the sea and there is someone out there for you.

If you are spending hours a day mooning over an ex, you sure can’t put too much energy into thinking the thoughts that will attract that new man to you.  Is that ok with you?

“Hmmmmm?”

I said as I realized that my man had just said something to me and I had not heard one word of it.

“Yes, Larry,” He said, “That is a great idea, I think we should do that.”

I snapped into the present and looked at him. He was doing what I do when I can’t get his attention.

I was busted and I knew it. Better yet, he knew it.

I feel an inner stab of pain whenever I say something to him and get no response. Even worse is when I say something and he starts another conversation. I don’t address these missteps every time they happen. Truth be told, I don’t like bringing them to his attention, but I am learning that if I am experiencing that stab of pain, it is ok for me to do something about that.

So when my man was able to gently show me how inattentive I was and could laugh about it, it was one of the most loving gestures I have felt from him in a long time. Seeing that my new communication choices are making a difference for both of us feels really good.

It was hard for me to hear him say that when I am talking about my latest passion, that he feels that is all I want to talk about. It IS all I want to talk about but knowing he feels that way, I can make a plan for what I need to feel heard.

1. Create A Tribe: (Thanks Seth Godin!) Fortunately I am well on my way and have a small but growing tribe around me who see my vision and love to brainstorm and enthuse with me about what I see happening in my business and in my tribe. My intuition is getting stronger every day and when I feel inspired to pick up the phone and call someone to chat, I am much more likely to call someone who loves my dream as much as I do. I don’t need my man to be that for me.  Tuning in to how much I talk about my own interests is helping me see myself from his eyes.

2. Create Ground Rules: My man doesn’t talk on the phone as much as I do. Does anyone? Wait until I get my I Phone! My business is conducted on the phone and because of time zones, I can have several phone calls in a day. When questioned about how much time I am on the phone, I chose to lay out the agenda of my phone use to him clearly and succinctly. I also make sure he knows that I am prioritizing him always in my planning.

3. Create A Social Schedule With Your Man: As my business is picking up, I am scheduling time with my man right into my weekly calendar. When I met him, he was divorced for 13 years and loved his alone time. I am the same way. When I know I have him on Friday and Sunday this week for doing our fun stuff, I can focus on my other tasks more clearly. He is not as likely to feel left out of my life when he knows that I am choosing my time with him especially.

4. Create Connection: I also noticed that sometimes when I really WANT to tell my my man what is developing in my business or in my personal transformation, I don’t need him to give me 100% of his attention for an hour, not even close. Thirty seconds of focused attention does more for me than hours of me babbling a way while he looks absently over my shoulder. Each of us has clues to find the heart space with our men so that we can feel connected.

When Larry busted me last night about my own disconnect from him, I could see it for what it was and I thanked him and could apologize open heartedly because I hate it when it happens to me. We talked about it and he was able to explain that I tell him more than he wants to know about my business. Instead of being hurt, I heard him. We were connected.

Just telling him, “I just want to engage with you for a couple of minutes” is often all it takes to bring more consciousness to each other. When we are connected, I feel loved, and I love that!

5. Play Checkers: Well, that might not be your first choice, but I decided I wanted to play more games with my husband. I had suggested a few times and it didn’t happen. I was frustrated but I decided to walk around the frustration and just get a game out. I asked if he wanted to pick the first game or should I. He asked me to pick. I got the checker board. I can’t even remember the last time I played checkers. It was great. Took about 20 minutes for one game. No rematch. Just 20 minutes of time focused on something completely new for us. Nice and really easy!

Noticing that you are disconnected from your man is valuable information. Your intuition and imagination will help you find ways to tune to him. These inner senses are just waiting for you to engage them. Try these five steps for now. Before long, you will be coming up with your own ideas! I can’t wait to hear how you find ways to create new connections with him!

I AM.

What am I, not how am I but what am I? And what in the world does that have to do with attracting love?

I am ____________. It is awfully easy to fill that sentence with negatives. Why is it so much easier to think of the stuff we don’t like about ourselves instead of what we DO like?

Think of the blank at the end of the sentence, “I am___________.” as a sort of energetic container. Wouldn’t it be wild if this sentence contained the power our mind then uses to replicate whatever is placed inside? That being said, how do these feel?

I am fat.

I am poor.

I am broke.

I am worried.

I am getting old.

I am never going to get anywhere.

I am a failure.

I am helpless.

Yikes!  Need I go on?

Wouldn’t it behoove us to fill that container very mindfully?

I am________.

Even though it would be awkward and artificial to start saying things like:

I am ok exactly how I am.

I am making progress.

I am better off than I was last year.

I am continually learning and growing in understanding.

I am calm more often.

I am trusting my inner guidance more and more.

I am seeing more and more of those amazing coincidences called synchronicities.

I am learning to hear from my heart.

I am tuning into my intuition regularly.

I know that my intuition always gives me words to work with if I just ask. I write…”I am”…with the intention of thinking of things that I can write that are optimistic and, most importantly, true.

Moving from there, I can put together some optimal thoughts:

I am strong.

I am healthy.

I am prosperous in all ways.

I am wealthy.

I am beautifully clothed and housed.

I am loved.

I am love.

I am peace.

I am happy.

I AM happy.

As you read through the optimal list, if you have any reaction at all, just notice it. Where are you feeling it in your body? Your throat? Upper chest? Stomach? Take a couple of deep breaths while you lay your hand on the part of body where you feel pressure or heat. The most likely candidates are your throat, your belly, your head or your chest.

Something in these thoughts is setting off an alarm bell. Your mind is saying, “Oh no, can’t go there. This feels fake.” Your body is responding because there are actual biochemicals running through your system causing a physical reaction. I never knew this until very recently and this really is a key.

This rush of inner energy frequently carries with it forgotten hurts from experiences from years ago. Because there are chemical reactions that go along with emotions, I can be more compassionate with myself knowing that I really can’t help getting upset. It is my body’s way of processing past emotional pain.

When you notice this kind of reaction while you are doing any manifesting exercise, stop and follow these steps:

1. Take a deep breath and see how intensely you are reacting.

2. Rate it from 1 to 10 with one being low. Just admit to yourself that you are struggling a little right now.

3. Begin to calmly say these I AMs or any that come into your awareness.

I am starting now.

I am lots of good things and I am going to start telling myself so.

I am ok right where I am.

I am learning more about myself all the time, and I love that about myself!

I am catching myself more often when my thoughts are going in the wrong direction.

I am proud of myself.

I am feeling deep love and appreciation for myself.

I am resilient.

I am a tough cookie.

I am very experienced in the school of life. I am choosing to see that anything is possible.

Take a deep breath. And another.

Now check and see if the intensity has changed.

Remember, anytime you make an affirmation that just doesn’t feel good, it is an engraved invitation to find and reclaim your creative energy locked away in that forgotten hurt.

Every time you choose your I ams, whether you feel anything or not, you strengthen your connection to your intuition.

The stronger your intuition, the better your decisions. The decisions you make direct your course.

That is where I am most surely guided.

You will be too.

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Surprising Key to Allowing More Love In Your Life

Why is it so easy to see what others are doing wrong, and so difficult to see our own errors in judgment?

Why are we born with this self defeating tendency?

When I read in the Abraham Hicks material that The Art of Allowing is the decision to let people other people live life as they choose with no opinion making by me, I was surprised.

Could my choice to stay out of other people’s business actually improve my chances of receiving the love I was asking the Universe for?

Hmmm.

But, I KNOW they are making mistakes.

Really? Just how sure am I about that?

Ok, let’s test it out. A friend of mine is racking up a lot of credit card debt. I see it happening and it makes me worry. Should I say something or not?

Even if I do not say something, inside of me there is a strong current of thought all about them, their choices and their potential consequences.

Even as I write that, a part of me sees how pointless that is. I don’t really have any power to change their choices, even if I did confront them on their spending habits. Besides, look how much of my time and energy I am putting into someone else’s drama!

Just what are my options anyway? If I say something, will it benefit our relationship? Probably not. No one likes to have their weak spots pointed out.

If I don’t say anything and keep worrying about it, I have no peace of mind about it. After all, anyone can see that they are making the “wrong” choices. If I choose to say nothing and then work on my worried thoughts, at least I have something I can do.

After all, they are MY thoughts and thoughts can be changed. Do I really want to spend so much time thinking about someone else’s life?

I can help myself focus on my worry habit and who knows, maybe my choice to stay out of their business will bear more fruit for my life and their lives too.

Abraham Hicks thinks so. He teaches us clearly that if we want to allow our good to come to us, we can speed up our progress by allowing other people’s lives to unfold without our interference.
Now there is a challenge worth taking on!

How does my worrying about others affect my relationship with my man or finding my soul mate? Plenty. Worry, anxiety and complaining are not exactly the ways to a man’s heart. Learning to let go of those low vibrating thoughts and allowing my friends and family to choose their own paths frees me to think about more joyful things.

Joy and peace are VERY attractive to friends and lovers. Choosing to let others live their lives without my input equips me to be lovingly detached from my man’s personal choices. When he feels less pressured to measure up to my expectations, he is opening up to me in very real ways.

That makes me feel loved and respected….and that feels delicious!

Looking for more ideas on how to enhance your relationship? Would you like to feel more loved and cherished?  Maybe your Love Set Point is set too low.  Take control of your love life! Click here for a complimentary strategy session.