Says Ashley Hebert, the current Bachelorette at the time of this writing. After
- from Buzzsugar.com
a contrived “breakup” with Bentley, he only came on the show to cause problems, she was shaken to the core by how she fell for someone not interested in her.
I wonder if she went through the inner gauntlet of self doubt the rest of you do wondering what she did wrong. Did she ask herself what she did or said that turned him off?
Did she rake herself over the coals for being too affectionate, too open, too vulnerable? I know the Bachelor is a made up show…but her feelings are easily felt by the audience and isn’t that the point?
What I do know for sure is this. If you are forming your goals for love when you are “terrified of making a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life,” you are not likely to find the right man. Fear is never the best ground to plant seeds of new relationship.
I also know that my feelings will be hurt by life. I know that as much as I adore my husband, he will do and say things that hurt my feelings…simply because it reminds me of a painful past experience. Like a flashback, even an innocent gesture can flip the switch in my body and panic, doubt and fear still wash over me.
What is different between me and Ashley is that I have learned that when the fear and panic comes, I see the link to past hurts, I take the steps to heal those ancient stories and I can survive fear when it appears.
How about you, can you relate to our Bachelorette? Have you ever wanted to give up? Is your vision board yellowing? Is it heart breaking to watch another friend have a baby or get married?
I have a feeling no one knows how brave you are being each time you sign another wedding gift card. Seeing your single peer group shrink can be as frightening as Ashley’s experience. During times when you are really down, when you are in an energetic slump, doing your LOA practice can feel like climbing the side of a sky scraper.
Secretly, don’t you want to say F**K the Law of Attraction some days? You can ‘fess up, I won’t tell.
At the very time you need to pick a practice that will distract and/or entertain you enough to snap out of it, cynicism rushes in and your self talk gets mean and petty. What are you going to do?
Listen to this recording for a quick 3 Step Love Magnetizing Process that is ideal for reviving your hopes and getting you back on the road to your soul mate.
I know the stink of disappointment. Ha…Now that is a great typo!! I wanted to write sting. LOL Disappointment DOES stink. I hate it. No, I can’t say that is true. What is true is that I hate how I feel when it happens. The slump in energy feels awful and the doubts that come along just to make things interesting, feel even worse.
So what to do? Find an Attraction Buddy. Trust one person to be your go to person. Tell her that you are out of sorts and need a partner to help you shake the gloomies. Tell her you need about 15 minutes.
This is not about you bitching about your lonely life or her giving you advice. This is about recognizing when you are losing your grip on the commitment to the Law of Attraction principles you decided on.
Your Attraction Buddy is aware of your desire for a mate and is willing to be there for you when you need her to. Tell her up front what it is all about. Then, when you are out of sorts, you call and tell her. She then has the simple job of asking you why. You think about it and answer what comes up.
She asks you, “Why does that trouble you?” You answer with whatever comes up. She simply repeats this question until you get some sort of aha.
These ahas are not understood with the intellect. You will have a thought that is so novel, it will be a tangible aha. Try it.
Meanwhile, don’t decide your future being afraid, listen in on the recording for another easy process to shift into Love! And if you know Ashley, tweet this to her, will you?
Has a breakup left you feeling lost and alone? Check out http://BreakupCandy.com for support.
The Universe is full of examples of automatic manifestation.
Let me repeat that: The Universe is FULL of examples of AUTOMATIC MANIFESTATION. Let me give you a few examples.
A dandelion seed floating in the wind doesn’t obsess about how it will grow a strong enough root to withstand multi-deweeding attempts.
A grain of sand doesn’t stress about how it will become a matching pearl on a strand on the neck of a lovely woman.
A caterpillar doesn’t worry about how it will fly thousands of miles as a Monarch butterfly.
An acorn doesn’t obsess about how it will tower over everything as an oak tree in the future.
A tadpole doesn’t stress about how it will grow four legs and hop as a frog.
A chick in the nest doesn’t worry about how it will leap from the nest and fly as an eagle.
A puppy doesn’t obsess about how it will lead a blind man across a busy street.
A redwood pine cone doesn’t stress about how a forest fire one day will release it’s seeds into the earth.
A lamb doesn’t worry about how to grow enough wool to make all the sweaters that are to come.
Are you catching my drift? There are so many examples of AUTOMATIC MANIFESTATION around us all the time. What is on automatic in your life?
If you have automatic thoughts about what you don’t have right now, you need to address that. Who is the boss of you anyway! LOL
Now, I don’t mean to make light of your lonely situation. I know you are frustrated in your search for love but….
Focusing on the perfect way that nature replicates itself and keeps life going is a tremendous source of encouragement. You are like a seed. You are holding within your very cells promise beyond your wildest dreams.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer explains, within you is a dynamic force that is pulling you forward to your full expression. If it is true in nature, how can it not be true for YOU! So what is the problem? If you feel stuck, look back, there are usually two primary causes:
1. You are not following through with a decision that you committed to yourself to act on.
2. You are ignoring an action step that you KNOW you need to take.
You and only you are in the way of Manifesting Love. Follow what you know you could be doing to connect with your life’s purpose. Don’t hang out whining about the LOVE that isn’t here!! There is all kinds of love everywhere you look. Challenge yourself to LOOK for love.
Start your day saying this intention out loud. I guarantee it will change your perspective:
I intend to see love in all of its forms wherever I go.
A great mantra that will not let you down!
Are you ready to step into Automatic Love Manifestation? Here you go: http://LOAinLove.com
I meet hundreds of single women who tell me their stories.
Many are shocked to find themselves still single at a certain age. Some hovering around 40 still want to have a baby. All sad and disappointed by their situation. Love Sabotage?
Here are the Top Ten Things Single Women Are Not Aware of:
1. Nearly all of them express shock that my husband and I have moments of disconnection in our very good marriage.
2. Nearly all feel a partner will make them feel something they cannot feel from anyone else.
3. None realize that the bio-chemistry of pleasure feels the same whatever is stimulating it. A good concert, a tail wagging dog, a fantastic dining experience, the hug of a child, the affirmation of a job well done as well as a great partner are just a few of the life happenings that are pleasurable.
4. Nearly all are waiting for “The One” before they travel, move or or start a new career. Life is on hold and they are accepting that.
5. None of them are aware there is a part of them who loves being single and is very good at making sure that nothing changes that.
6. Few realize that self sabotage is really self protection.
7. Few know the strength of their true personal magnetism and the power they have to create a happier life.
8. Most are isolated and none are involved in philanthropy. Nothing grows a heart of love than serving with a charity you love!
9. Nearly all experienced a broken heart around the age of 13.
10. None feels how special they are exactly as they are.
Want to put an end to YOUR single status? Start here: http://EndLoveSabotage.com
Is that normal?
When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn’t see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.
“I think I am really in love. He makes me feel amazing. Every time we are together, I want to be with him more and more. We laugh and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed with our clothes on. But I don’t WANT to have sex with him. Isn’t that weird????”
She was talking really fast and I could feel her excitement. “Last night we had a long talk about sex, about what we like and don’t like, fantasies and stuff like that. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex.”
“I burst out laughing and said no, I’m not ready and I wasn’t afraid to tell him.”
Then she collapsed in a fit of giggling. “ME!!” She howled, “Me turning down sex!!”
“Are you attracted to him?” I asked.
“That’s the crazy thing,” she said, “He is so handsome! I can’t stop thinking about him and I want to be with him all the time.”
Genevieve’s delight is so tangible, I replay her story over and over in my mind. In a way, when you befriend your saboteur, it is as if your sweet fourteen year old self, the one that was so terribly hurt and disappointed in love all those years ago, is being given a second chance.
I remember Ruby, a Chinese Rapunzel with limited English skills. Coaching her was a challenge as I broke down the steps of breakup recovery into words she could understand. Ruby had met a man on Match.com and after 4 months of happiness, found out he was married.
She knew he lived in a different state. She accepted that he was only in her town for business every couple of weeks. She also was completely blindsided when she found out he was married. As she told me her story, here is a key point:
“In my country, you fall in love first and then you have sex. In your country, you have sex first and then fall in love. I don’t understand.”
No, I said to Ruby, you have it right! You SHOULD be in love before you have sex. Your people have it right. Not because it is morally right or wrong, that is not what this is about. The reason to love first is about hearing from your inner senses, feeling your way along so you know exactly who to sleep with when you do.
Genevieve had slept with so many men, her inner guidance was disconnected. In true Rapunzel fashion, she careened from relationship to relationship having great sex but never connecting with the men in a meaningful way.
Now, with this new man, everything is different. He thrills her. She loves him and she is in no hurry to have sex. Is it normal? Yep, it is for Genevieve. As I ask her every time we speak, how does this feel to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you when you are with him? How happy are you just thinking about him?
As long as you feel your way through opening up to a man and keep yourself feeling high on your scale of happiness, you cannot go wrong. I promise.
What you can’t possibly know when you are a young, is how impossibly delicious the time is before you have sex with someone you adore. It is a time that cannot be restored. Making it last as long as possible is your goal!
So what do you do? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! I have been married for 5 years now and I still go back to that time to refuel my appreciation for my Larry. I was living about 45 minutes away from him and we were falling in love quickly. I remember watching out the window for his car. I remember seeing it turn down the street.
My heart started to pound. I was so excited he was coming. I made myself wait for a few moments before I answered the door bell even though I wanted to run out and meet him in the parking lot.
He smelled really good and l remember how the fabric of his yellow turtle neck felt under my fingers. We were laying on the couch together looking into each others eyes. The edge between risk of falling in love again and the undeniable physical chemistry drove our enchantment with one another.
I am so happy we had that time. Just like Genevieve and Ruby, I lost a lot of innocence when I was young. Love was twisted and painful in the players on the stage of my life. Blah, blah, blah…who of us doesn’t have drama in the past.
Now, when I see the parts of my husband that are cross and anxious and I dodge for cover, I don’t freak out anymore. I go back to that day in early autumn of 2004 and imagine myself running my hand up Larry’s chest, feeling the softness of his beautiful yellow turtleneck and every single time, I get a flood of the same feelings I had on that day and I love him like that all over again.
So, darling Genevieve, you are learning a new normal for yourself, and you are doing just fine! You are open and curious about your man and all of the loving feelings you are feeling for him are like bread crumbs leading you home.
Love Sabotage will not betray you. If after 4 months, you are not feeling it for him, you will know clearly and you will be able to move on.
What you can count on is this. If this man is not your forever man, he is SO close that when the right one does find you, it will be even better. I promise.
Wonder if you are with the right guy? Click here for a Should I Stay or Should I Go Psychic Reading and find out!
Wouldn’t it be lovely if UPS could deliver your mate to you….today?
Wouldn’t it be great if you could skip dating all together?
OK, Wishful Thinker, time to come back to reality.
If you hate to date, that is a problem. Fear of dating is just the tip of the love-repelling iceberg. If there is a way to meet great prospects without dating, I haven’t heard of it yet.
Can you learn to LIKE dating?
Or at least tolerate it?
Let me ask you this, on a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to find a partner?
Dating does not have to be a nightmare! In fact, hating to date is Love Sabotage for sure!! Imagine having your own custom EFT Tapping script so that you can melt your self-consciousness and shine!
Tapping is the best way to put your lonely past behind you and get some traction for you Soul Mate Attraction plan. With a custom script, you will cut right to the heart of the blocks in your way to finding love.
For more info on how to access your private script crafting session, click right here: http://PsychicEFT.com
PS. Psychic EFT? Oh yes….it is the psychic connection that makes these EFT scripts unique. Nurturing your psychic gifts and learning to be authentic is the key to finding True Love.