Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night unable to fall back to sleep because your mind is running itself into hyperdrive?

Does your mind start streaming self critical and hopeless thoughts like this:

What’s wrong with me.  I will never find anyone.  I am such a loser.  Why did I break up with that guy.  I liked him ok.  Now I am here alone again.  I hate on line dating.  How will I ever meet anyone.  I hate bars.  I am so over the cocktail scene.  Maybe I could join the gym. No, I hate the gym.  I hate being alone.  I hate my life.  What’s wrong with me.  I will never find anyone.  I am such a loser….blah, blah and blah…..

Get my drift?  In the middle of the night, it can be brutal to turn that stream off.  It can start running stronger and stronger.  When you read in the Law of Attraction books that your thoughts create your reality…doesn’t that frustrate you?  I don’t blame you.

But what is a lonely girl to do?  A couple of years ago, I learned the most amazing tool for turning off my own mind.  I was recovering from cancer and believe me, fear ran my mind night and day.  Many nights, my eyes would pop open and on would go my mind…and not in a happy direction.

During this time, I stumbled upon an ancient Hawaiian healing practice called Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono).  I read a book called The Urban Shaman by Serge Kahili King that inspired me in many ways.  I love Hawaii, always have, and this kahuna (healer) taught me something that really helped.

Ho’oponopono (Or just Hono Pono as I say it) has a lot of ritual and is described in detail on Wikipedia should you all want more info, but for turning off the mind, I simplified it to a simple routine that has WORKED EVERY TIME.  Yes, you read right.

This tool works EVERY time to turn my mind from the flood of negative thinking that can drag me into a blue mood.  So this is what I do:

There are FOUR phrases that every human being would love to hear from someone they love.  Four phrases that turn and soften the human heart but four phrases that some people never, ever hear from their loved ones.

The phrases are:

Thank You
I Love You
I’m Sorry
Please Forgive Me

Think about it, isn’t there someone in your life, someone you really care for…love with all your heart who has misunderstood you and hurt your feelings?  Wouldn’t you give just about anything to hear these words?  I know I do.

What I discovered that changed my life was that I could say these words to myself.  I discovered that when I said these words, some real magic happened.  My ears hearing my own voice saying these four phrases brought a lot of peace and yes, in the middle of the night, put me back to sleep.

At first, I resisted it.  I hate to admit it but, I didn’t want to admit that I could provide this comfort for myself.  You see, a part of me still wanted, in fact, insisted on hearing these things from the person who hurt me.  A part of me believed that I wouldn’t FEEL as loved if I said this for myself instead of hearing it from my loved one.

But, guess what?  I am the boss of me.  I am the chairman of my own mind.  I am the only one who can stop the runaway train of my negative thinking.  I know it was because of the cancer that I changed my tight thinking.  I wanted to live more than I wanted to hear those things from people who had hurt me.

So.  I began what has become an easy daily habit.  I began to repeat the magic words over and over.  Muttering under my breath so I wouldn’t wake my husband, I said. “Thank you.  I love you. I’m Sorry. Please Forgive me.  Thank You. I love you. I’m Sorry.  Please Forgive me.”

When I fell asleep the first time, I was sold.  I didn’t know how it worked, I just know that it did.  These magic words turned off my fear.  Simple as that.

What happened for me in the years since is that I really do love to hear those words.  When my ears hear my mouth speaking these phrases, it feels good. My heart loves these words, no matter who says them. Would I like to hear them from Madame X or Mister Z?  Yes, of course.

But I have learned that even if I never hear those words from the person I long to hear them from, I can access all the magic in them for myself. 

And that is a powerful manifesting tool indeed.

Want to know how to super turbo charge your Hono P’ononono and make it attract love like magic?  Try it with EFT!  This coming Monday, I am starting a special EFT class for FREE for my membership.  I am teaching Arielle Ford’s book The Soul Mate Secret and it is going to be red-hot!!!

For information click here:  http://EFTCupid.com

Says Ashley Hebert, the current Bachelorette at the time of this writing. After

from Buzzsugar.com

a contrived “breakup” with Bentley, he only came on the show to cause problems, she was shaken to the core by how she fell for someone not interested in her.

I wonder if she went through the inner gauntlet of self doubt the rest of you do wondering what she did wrong. Did she ask herself what she did or said that turned him off?

Did she rake herself over the coals for being too affectionate, too open, too vulnerable? I know the Bachelor is a made up show…but her feelings are easily felt by the audience and isn’t that the point?

What I do know for sure is this. If you are forming your goals for love when you are “terrified of making a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life,” you are not likely to find the right man.  Fear is never the best ground to plant seeds of new relationship.

I also know that my feelings will be hurt by life. I know that as much as I adore my husband, he will do and say things that hurt my feelings…simply because it reminds me of a painful past experience.  Like a flashback, even an innocent gesture can flip the switch in my body and panic, doubt and fear still wash over me.

What is different between me and Ashley is that I have learned that when the fear and panic comes, I see the link to past hurts, I take the steps to heal those ancient stories and I can survive fear when it appears.

How about you, can you relate to our Bachelorette? Have you ever wanted to give up? Is your vision board yellowing? Is it heart breaking to watch another friend have a baby or get married?

I have a feeling no one knows how brave you are being each time you sign another wedding gift card. Seeing your single peer group shrink can be as frightening as Ashley’s experience.  During times when you are really down, when you are in an energetic slump, doing your LOA practice can feel like climbing the side of a sky scraper.

Secretly, don’t you want to say F**K the Law of Attraction some days?  You can ‘fess up, I won’t tell.

At the very time you need to pick a practice that will distract and/or entertain you enough to snap out of it, cynicism rushes in and your self talk gets mean and petty. What are you going to do?

Listen to this recording for a quick 3 Step Love Magnetizing Process that is ideal for reviving your hopes and getting you back on the road to your soul mate.

http://cat3733.audioacrobat.com/download/3StepMagnetizingProcess.mp3

I know the stink of disappointment. Ha…Now that is a great typo!! I wanted to write sting. LOL Disappointment DOES stink. I hate it. No, I can’t say that is true. What is true is that I hate how I feel when it happens. The slump in energy feels awful and the doubts that come along just to make things interesting, feel even worse.

So what to do? Find an Attraction Buddy. Trust one person to be your go to person. Tell her that you are out of sorts and need a partner to help you shake the gloomies. Tell her you need about 15 minutes.

This is not about you bitching about your lonely life or her giving you advice. This is about recognizing when you are losing your grip on the commitment to the Law of Attraction principles you decided on.

Your Attraction Buddy is aware of your desire for a mate and is willing to be there for you when you need her to. Tell her up front what it is all about. Then, when you are out of sorts, you call and tell her. She then has the simple job of asking you why. You think about it and answer what comes up.

She asks you, “Why does that trouble you?” You answer with whatever comes up. She simply repeats this question until you get some sort of aha.

These ahas are not understood with the intellect. You will have a thought that is so novel, it will be a tangible aha. Try it.

Meanwhile, don’t decide your future being afraid, listen in on the recording for another easy process to shift into Love!  And if you know Ashley, tweet this to her, will you?

Has a breakup left you feeling lost and alone?  Check out http://BreakupCandy.com for support.

These can be trying times and it can be easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day that we forget about working on those aspects of change that are truly important to us.

Most of us believe it is the amount of our resolve – the pure determination – that dictates whether or not we will accomplish our goals. It is all a matter of will power and if our will power is strong enough, then we will succeed.

The truth of the matter is, we unknowingly sabotage our own attempts to keep our goals because very few of us know the tools and techniques necessary to succeed!

Today I’ve teamed up with New York Times best selling author and Hay House Radio Host, Eldon Taylor, to bring you a tool that will assist you in all areas of your life. Whether your goal is happiness, prosperity, weight loss, accelerated learning, stress relief, improving self-esteem, or creating the perfect relationship, Eldon Taylor’s Change Without Thinking holds the key to your success.

For one full day, Eldon  (one of the world’s foremost authorities on pre-conscious learning), spoke at the Putra Trade Center in Malaysia. He taught a packed house and a number of dignitaries including the former First Lady of that country all about Change Without Thinking, and now, through a special arrangement with Hay House, the original footage from Eldon’s incredible presentation has been enhanced and recorded for you to see on three DVDs.

Attendees paid several hundred dollars to attend this event and now you can watch it at your convenience – and for only pennies on the dollar—all 3 DVDs (a full workshop) for under  $25.

Click to watch video clips from Change Without Thinking:
http://www.progressiveawarenesspromotions.com/it/11f/index.html

“I have owned a Comic book store for 27 years and after seeing your Hay House 3 DVD set, I want to sell the shop and spread your word. My girlfriend watched it with me and in 3 nights she realized more than any therapy she ever had.”

Change Without Thinking will show you:

1. The ongoing truth about why we often choose to sabotage ourselves;

2. How we can find purpose, reward and meaning in life;

3. Why we are often seemingly unable to keep our resolutions;

4. How to transform your life and make a real difference in the lives of others; and

5. How to be successful in your every undertaking.

Click here for more information:
http://www.progressiveawarenesspromotions.com/it/11f/index.html

“Dr. Eldon Taylor is for me a miracle. I can’t thank you enough for helping me to pull myself out from a slump that nearly ruined my life. And right now, not only am I  ‘nearly out’, I can guarantee getting out with a more positive and a better mind set for the life I have ahead. In the conference, he said, ‘Thank God for unanswered prayers’ but I’m so glad he answered mine this time.”

I am so excited about Change Without Thinking because I know it can really make a powerful difference in your life. That is why I have joined with many visionaries in offering special bonus incentives worth hundreds of dollars when you take advantage of this limited time offer. So stop putting off your success. Reach your true potential and make this your best year ever!

Get your copy today!
http://www.progressiveawarenesspromotions.com/it/11f/index.html

The Universe is full of examples of automatic manifestation.

Let me repeat that:  The Universe is FULL of examples of AUTOMATIC MANIFESTATION.  Let me give you a few examples.

A dandelion seed floating in the wind doesn’t obsess about how it will grow a strong enough root to withstand multi-deweeding attempts.

A grain of sand doesn’t stress about how it will become a matching pearl on a strand on the neck of a lovely woman.

A caterpillar doesn’t worry about how it will fly thousands of miles as a Monarch butterfly.

An acorn doesn’t obsess about how it will tower over everything as an oak tree in the future.

A tadpole doesn’t stress about how it will grow four legs and hop as a frog.

A chick in the nest doesn’t worry about how it will leap from the nest and fly as an eagle.

A puppy doesn’t obsess about how it will lead a blind man across a busy street.

A redwood pine cone doesn’t stress about how a forest fire one day will release it’s seeds into the earth.

A lamb doesn’t worry about how to grow enough wool to make all the sweaters that are to come.

Are you catching my drift? There are so many examples of AUTOMATIC MANIFESTATION around us all the time.  What is on automatic in your life?

If you have automatic thoughts about what you don’t have right now, you need to address that.  Who is the boss of you anyway!  LOL

Now, I don’t mean to make light of your lonely situation.  I know you are frustrated in your search for love but….

Focusing on the perfect way that nature replicates itself and keeps life going is a tremendous source of encouragement.  You are like a seed.  You are holding within your very cells promise beyond your wildest dreams.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer explains, within you is a dynamic force that is pulling you forward to your full expression.  If it is true in nature, how can it not be true for YOU!  So what is the problem?  If you feel stuck, look back, there are usually two primary causes:

1.  You are not following through with a decision that you committed to yourself to act on.

2.  You are ignoring an action step that you KNOW you need to take.

You and only you are in the way of Manifesting Love. Follow what you know you could be doing to connect with your life’s purpose.  Don’t hang out whining about the LOVE that isn’t here!!  There is all kinds of love everywhere you look.  Challenge yourself to LOOK for love.

Start your day saying this intention out loud.  I guarantee it will change your perspective:

I intend to see love in all of its forms wherever I go.

A great mantra that will not let you down!

Are you ready to step into Automatic Love Manifestation?  Here you go:  http://LOAinLove.com

Do you sometimes worry that true love has passed you by?

That you’re too late, too old, too heartbroken to try to find love again, and you’ll end up alone in life?

Everyone deserves to have a partner, a beloved—a soulmate—with whom to share their life. If you’re like most singles, you dream of loving someone who adores you, understands you, but is also your best friend and knows and accepts you for who you are.

But you’ve almost given up on the dream, haven’t you? Because you suspect that all the good ones are taken, and you’re tired of getting your hopes up once again…only to meet the wrong person.

That’s why I’m thrilled to introduce you to someone with an incredible story, and to tell you about an exciting opportunity to learn her secret, simple techniques for manifesting true love.

3 Simple Secrets from Arielle Ford

Her name is Arielle Ford, and she’s the author of the best-selling book, “The Soulmate Secret.”

She’s also an accomplished publicist who helped launch the careers of such luminaries and spiritual teachers as Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch (“Conversations With God” author) and her sister, Debbie Ford.

Arielle is offering a FREE DOWNLOAD where she shares the 3 KEYS to manifesting true love, using proven processes and techniques that have not only helped Arielle manifest her own soulmate, but have helped thousands of men and women find the love of their life.

You can learn more about it and register right now for free by following on this link:

Three Simple Secrets from Arielle Ford

This is a completely free recording, and if you sign up now, you will have instant access. If you’re single and you know you long for a deep, committed partnership with someone you’re meant to be with, I highly encourage you to take this opportunity.

In this FREE DOWNLOAD, you’ll learn:

* How to attract the kind of person who will actually be the RIGHT partner for you

* How to clear out the obstacles, such as the memory of past lovers and heartache, that are energetically keeping away any possibility of a soulmate

* How to experience the love and connection you crave even BEFORE you meet your soulmate, which will attract that right person to you almost magically

* How to forgive yourself for mistakes you’ve made in the past, and open your heart to the kind of relationship you really need and will make you happy for the long-term

You get instant access to Arielle’s gift so register now so you don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn how to manifest true love and magnetize your soulmate into your life!

Three Simple Secrets from Arielle Ford

I meet hundreds of single women who tell me their stories.

Many are shocked to find themselves still single at a certain age. Some hovering around 40 still want to have a baby. All sad and disappointed by their situation.  Love Sabotage?

Here are the Top Ten Things Single Women Are Not Aware of:

1. Nearly all of them express shock that my husband and I have moments of disconnection in our very good marriage.

2. Nearly all feel a partner will make them feel something they cannot feel from anyone else.

3. None realize that the bio-chemistry of pleasure feels the same whatever is stimulating it. A good concert, a tail wagging dog, a fantastic dining experience, the hug of a child, the affirmation of a job well done as well as a great partner are just a few of the life happenings that are pleasurable.

4. Nearly all are waiting for “The One” before they travel, move or or start a new career. Life is on hold and they are accepting that.

5. None of them are aware there is a part of them who loves being single and is very good at making sure that nothing changes that.

6. Few realize that self sabotage is really self protection.

7. Few know the strength of their true personal magnetism and the power they have to create a happier life.

8. Most are isolated and none are involved in philanthropy. Nothing grows a heart of love than serving with a charity you love!

9. Nearly all experienced a broken heart around the age of 13.

10. None feels how special they are exactly as they are.

Want to put an end to YOUR single status?  Start here:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

Is that normal?

When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn’t see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.

“I think I am really in love. He makes me feel amazing. Every time we are together, I want to be with him more and more. We laugh and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed with our clothes on. But I don’t WANT to have sex with him. Isn’t that weird????”

She was talking really fast and I could feel her excitement. “Last night we had a long talk about sex, about what we like and don’t like, fantasies and stuff like that. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex.”

“I burst out laughing and said no, I’m not ready and I wasn’t afraid to tell him.”

Then she collapsed in a fit of giggling. “ME!!” She howled, “Me turning down sex!!”

“Are you attracted to him?” I asked.

“That’s the crazy thing,” she said, “He is so handsome! I can’t stop thinking about him and I want to be with him all the time.”

Genevieve’s delight is so tangible, I replay her story over and over in my mind. In a way, when you befriend your saboteur, it is as if your sweet fourteen year old self, the one that was so terribly hurt and disappointed in love all those years ago, is being given a second chance.

I remember Ruby, a Chinese Rapunzel with limited English skills. Coaching her was a challenge as I broke down the steps of breakup recovery into words she could understand. Ruby had met a man on Match.com and after 4 months of happiness, found out he was married.

She knew he lived in a different state. She accepted that he was only in her town for business every couple of weeks. She also was completely blindsided when she found out he was married. As she told me her story, here is a key point:

“In my country, you fall in love first and then you have sex. In your country, you have sex first and then fall in love. I don’t understand.”

No, I said to Ruby, you have it right! You SHOULD be in love before you have sex. Your people have it right. Not because it is morally right or wrong, that is not what this is about. The reason to love first is about hearing from your inner senses, feeling your way along so you know exactly who to sleep with when you do.

Genevieve had slept with so many men, her inner guidance was disconnected. In true Rapunzel fashion, she careened from relationship to relationship having great sex but never connecting with the men in a meaningful way.

Now, with this new man, everything is different. He thrills her. She loves him and she is in no hurry to have sex. Is it normal? Yep, it is for Genevieve. As I ask her every time we speak, how does this feel to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you when you are with him? How happy are you just thinking about him?

As long as you feel your way through opening up to a man and keep yourself feeling high on your scale of happiness, you cannot go wrong. I promise.

What you can’t possibly know when you are a young, is how impossibly delicious the time is before you have sex with someone you adore. It is a time that cannot be restored.  Making it last as long as possible is your goal!

So what do you do? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! I have been married for 5 years now and I still go back to that time to refuel my appreciation for my Larry. I was living about 45 minutes away from him and we were falling in love quickly. I remember watching out the window for his car. I remember seeing it turn down the street.

My heart started to pound. I was so excited he was coming. I made myself wait for a few moments before I answered the door bell even though I wanted to run out and meet him in the parking lot.

He smelled really good and l remember how the fabric of his yellow turtle neck felt under my fingers. We were laying on the couch together looking into each others eyes. The edge between risk of falling in love again and the undeniable physical chemistry drove our enchantment with one another.

I am so happy we had that time. Just like Genevieve and Ruby, I lost a lot of innocence when I was young. Love was twisted and painful in the players on the stage of my life. Blah, blah, blah…who of us doesn’t have drama in the past.

Now, when I see the parts of my husband that are cross and anxious and I dodge for cover, I don’t freak out anymore. I go back to that day in early autumn of 2004 and imagine myself running my hand up Larry’s chest, feeling the softness of his beautiful yellow turtleneck and every single time, I get a flood of the same feelings I had on that day and I love him like that all over again.

So, darling Genevieve, you are learning a new normal for yourself, and you are doing just fine! You are open and curious about your man and all of the loving feelings you are feeling for him are like bread crumbs leading you home.

Love Sabotage will not betray you.  If after 4 months, you are not feeling it for him, you will know clearly and you will be able to move on.

What you can count on is this. If this man is not your forever man, he is SO close that when the right one does find you, it will be even better. I promise.

Wonder if you are a Rapunzel?  Maybe you are a Snow White or Scarlett O’Hara. These principles work for everybody!  Get your Love Sabotage Assessment right here:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

“I am tired of the Law of Attraction.”

“I do everything Abraham says and I am still single.”

“I am SO tired of being alone.”

Sound familiar? It can be searingly difficult to keep the faith with you are working with the Universal Laws. The books, audios and coaching programs all promise great results, so what’s up? Why can’t finding love be easier?

I hear you. Law of Attraction SOUNDS good when you hear it, doesn’t it? If you can learn how to magnetize yourself to love, your perfect match will ‘magically’ appear and your happily ever after is yours at last. Are you rolling your eyes? Great…keep reading!

There is a missing piece to the puzzle and if you are rolling your eyes….you are closer to the missing piece than you think! The one ingredient to manifesting success that flies under the radar and stays out of your view is…..

Are you ready for this? The very frustration you are feeling is the missing link! As you get more and more clear about what kind of relationship you want, you are actually stirring the pot of your past disappointments. This is natural and normal!!

Your brain has been conditioned to create thoughts contrary to loving connection. You read right. Your own brain chemistry is working against you and the only clue you have is your frustration. Why is that a problem?

Simple…Law of Attraction gurus teach you night and day that you must keep our vibration up at all costs, that you must place yourself in the mindset and mood of a happily married soul mate before you can be magnetic enough to have him show up. There is only one problem with that.

In order to create the feeling of mission accomplished before the mission is accomplished is to allow the negative thoughts have a voice. Depression, despair, anger, frustration, sadness, grief and loneliness are all real energies produced by our brains in response to life drama and trauma.

If you don’t recondition your brain to see these events differently….you are stuck in the waiting room forever!!!

Should you just give up? NO!! Your negative feelings are controlling your lackluster love life and there is a safe way to express them. Worrying that you will attract more negative results if you allow yourself to be negative is a trap! You must find away to change your thoughts about the painful past and retraining your brain is the fastest way to get that job done.

So what can you do?

Here are 5 Steps to Keeping Your Faith in The Law of Attraction While You Are Waiting for Love:

1. Don’t Deny Your Feelings: Seems simple, but is so important. When you are feeling blue or find yourself in a funk, don’t be too quick to run from those feelings. You are frustrated and I don’t blame you.

Let your feelings about your singleness have a voice. Now, you don’t want to go venting all over the place and speak all about it, but writing a list of the people who have disappointed you in love is a great step!

2. Evaluate which past relationship is the most painful: Think about a past breakup. Remember the time it happened and see if there is any regret, remorse or rejection still there. On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are your feelings?

3. Lean into your feelings: One of my favorite techniques is a really simple one. After I have figured out the person whose betrayal is stirring me up at the moment, I get a pencil and paper and begin to write his or her first name.

I like using a pencil for this because when I am feeling a lot of intensity about the person, my handwriting shows the intensity. I write the name over and over. Amazing how feelings come up! You will feel yourself getting calmer until the exercise comes to a natural end. I usually start to misspell the name. That is my signal I am done.

4. Allow yourself to accept that person: Should they have broken your heart? No, of course not! But, most of those pesky early heartbreaks were not malicious, even though it may have felt that way at the time. Early relationships are hardwired for drama and trauma.

Can you think of a teenager who isn’t? See that person as someone who did not get you. He didn’t have the skills to let you down easy and he blew it. Seriously…would you want to still be with him? Your brain was trained to withdraw from love because of him and now you can let it go. Believe it or not, that name writing exercise is brain training!

5. You are the one who is the center of your own love universe: When you have control over your own reaction to past emotional hurt, you will shine with confidence! Relationships hurt. That is the way it is.

When you are scared of being hurt again, it is like putting someone else at the center of your love universe. Don’t let another minute go by allowing a long lost love control your future! Admit, allow and adopt your thinking about love and you will be MUCH happier with the LOA and all it offers!

xoxo

I get emails every week from people who say this to me: “I don’t want to be alone when I am old.” There is so much passion and desire and love that is longing to be poured out on another person.

Believe me, there are thousands of men out there looking for the someone exactly like you!! If you go back and read the first letter of my 5 steps, you will see the secret to success. Once you accept this secret as the Universe’s way to prepare you for love, you will see concrete evidence of Love coming into your life….I promise!

Curious about your personal Love Sabotage Style? Take the Sabotage Survey and find out! http://EndLoveSabotage.com

I really hate to admit this but, I resent Scarlett.

There.  I said it.  Maybe that is why the Scarletts in my life dodge me.  Maybe they can feel it.  It really isn’t fair, I mean, Scarlett can’t help how direct, short tempered and passionate she is.  No more than Snow White can help how patient, accommodating and sweet she is.  How do these love sabotage patterns hold us back from happiness?

Why is it that our very natures bug each other and cause all kinds of relationship drama?

It all starts years ago where all Saboteurs are born, during the teen age years.  Young women are thrust into the crazy social whirlwind of junior high when they are painfully ill equipped to deal with each other.  Raging insecurity rules the day and even the girls who LOOK like they have it going on, struggle with low self esteem.

The time between 13 and 23 is bone chillingly painful for most women. Girls are mean to each other.  I remember watching my daughter go through some terrible times during those years.  Seeing her struggle pulled the strings of my own ancient history.

Ironically, many of us start ACTING like the girls that we think are more acceptable  than we are and that ‘false’ self is at the heart of today’s Love Sabotage habits.  There is nothing harder than projecting a persona that is not your real self.  So why do I resent Scarlett?

I was so jealous of the beautiful, confident and dramatic Scarletts that were popular in my high school. I was way outside the in crowd and felt invisible. I think that is why I became a chameleon.  I was desperate to be accepted.   Now I know how very much we all have in common and I am determined to be my real self no matter what.

I also realize that it isn’t Scarlett that I resent. Scarlett is just a shadowy figure that some girls put on to protect their tender hearts.  I realize that each of us only want one thing….to be loved and accepted.

Here are 5 lessons, words to the wise, from Scarlett herself:

1.  I am not mean! You just let people get away with murder!  You are so nice to everyone even the ones who are mean to you and treat you like dirt.  Don’t be afraid of hurting people’s feelings.  If something is not right, speak up.  You are the one who teaches other people how to treat you. (Thanks Dr. Phil) I only look mean because you don’t understand me.

2. Don’t be upset if some people don’t like you. I don’t waste one red hot second worried that some people don’t like me.  I know who my friends are and I don’t care that some people don’t get me. You try so hard to get everyone to like you and that seems fake to me.  I may not like it all the time, but I respect people being real with me.  No one can be that sweet all the time.

3. Don’t try to be like me. Be yourself.  Secretly I envy how easy going you are.  I know I am sharp and abrupt sometimes but that is only when I am fried. Once I set a goal I go full throttle after what I want.  I don’t mean to bowl people over, it is just my passion and determination to move forward that drives me.   Speak your mind to me and don’t fudge.  I appreciate that more than you know! (see #5 below)

4. I am softer inside than you would ever guess. I have been misunderstood my whole life.  It hurts my feelings when women gang up against me and think I am mean.  It is really hard for me to be seen as weak and wishy washy.  I am not good at asking for what I need and sometimes I cut off friends before they cut me out.  I  get hurt way easier than anyone knows.  Try to see my side of things and don’t try to change me.

5. I more insecure than you know, I just don’t show it. If I hurt your feelings, here is what to do.  I get really lonely and I want to feel connected.  If you say this to me, I have a better chance of hearing your heart.  “I know you care for me and you would never intentionally hurt me, but when you__________________________________, I felt disconnected from you and I value our friendship.”  Even though I have a take no prisoners attitude about most things, I do treasure my close friends and they know the real me.

Bottom line?

The most successful relationships happen when people are REAL. I know that is no surprise, but walking it out can be tricky.  I LOVE Scarlett!!  I need her sass and spark.  I used to resent her because I didn’t understand why I didn’t fit into her crowd.  Knowing how insecure she is some times helps me understand her and I can stop trying to change her to fit my expectations.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if UPS could deliver your mate to you….today?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could skip dating all together?

OK, Wishful Thinker, time to come back to reality.

If you hate to date, that is a problem. Fear of dating is just the tip of the love-repelling iceberg. If there is a way to meet great prospects without dating, I haven’t heard of it yet.

Can you learn to LIKE dating?

Or at least tolerate it?

Let me ask you this, on a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to find a partner?

Dating does not have to be a nightmare! In fact, hating to date is Love Sabotage for sure!! Twice a month I teach EFT Cupid classes so that you can melt your self-consciousness and shine!

Every other week EFT Cupid meets to support singles motivated to put their lonely past behind them and get some traction for their Soul Mate Attraction plan.

Classes are no cost for members of my private community. Are you ready to take steps toward True Love? Just click here for registration information: http://EFTCupid.com