Congratulations to one of my former clients, Kerry, who married her soul mate this weekend. {{{{{Hugs Kerry!}}}}}  When we started working together, she was near 38 and still aching to have children of her own.

Less than a year later, she found her man, someone not her type LOL, and not a dad…yet. She swears that if she can get rid of her love sabotage, anyone can!

I will be interviewing her soon, after her honeymoon and things get settled, she wants to come on a call and tell her story as well as answer your questions. Stay tuned!

Her success inspires me to dig even deeper to find new ways to help others find the confidence to get back out there and pursue love again.

Your biggest goal is to chase away the gloomies when they come. If you can keep your mind from falling into that pit of discouragement, you’ll start to see some real change. But how?

Keeping a hopeful, open and creative mindset is critical to you finding your soul mate. Once depressing thoughts surround you and drag you down, you’re in trouble, right?

Imagine being able to text me right then. Right when you are struggling. Wouldn’t be great to get my take on your situation?

When my members are slipping into the Land of Despair, I’ve asked them to text me. The only condition? They can only text one word. One five letter word.

I respond using each letter of the word to create a unique, personalized on the spot Mini Magnetizing Message. This message serves as a 911 tapping script that gets results.

I really love you guys and I want for you to feel so loved, so full of self regard and attracting the best in people that you always bounce back from life’s inevitable heart breaks. The fact is, many of you are still hurting from an ex three exes ago.

Only you can take the steps to sweep out the cobwebs of the ghosts of boyfriends past. Once you know that you are resilient again and able to take care of yourself while you are with someone, you will be more optimistic and confident.

An irresistible combination, just in time for summer!

For the month of June, I am offering the text coaching option to all of my members, even at the newbie level that is currently just $9.97 per month. The opportunity is here. Are you ready?  Will you do what it takes to find love?

For membership info, click here: http://EFTCupid.com

Feel free to cut and paste this ad and post it on your local Craig’s List:

Wanted:  The Perfect Man

I am looking for an ideal partner. You must be open and available to me emotionally. You must be easily entertained and passionate about your life. You must be confident and have the ability to get noticed when you come into the room.

I prefer manscaping so no extraneous body hair. Integrity is important to me and you must be your true self at all times.   You must get along with my friends and family and yet be completely devoted to me.

Above and beyond all, you must never, ever hurt my feelings.  I have been hurt enough and it is up to you to put an end to that.  Oh, and if you are short, bald or broke…no need to apply.

Silly?  You bet!  And yet, most single women have a version of that running in the background of their minds. Just like a hidden program on your computer’s hard drive, you have a ‘mind virus’ that is convincing you that some version of the above want ad is true.

Can you have a man who won’t hurt your feelings? You know that can’t be true.  And yet, the pain of being misunderstood or dismissed is so intense for some women that they organize their whole lives to make sure they don’t get hurt.

Love Sabotage for sure!!! What can you do instead?  I know it is hard to accept that hurt feelings can’t be eliminated forever.  Actually, that is a good thing.  Your hurt feelings feeling is a critical part of turning up your love magnetism.  Tune into this video and I will explain why:

I meet hundreds of single women who tell me their stories.

Many are shocked to find themselves still single at a certain age. Some hovering around 40 still want to have a baby. All sad and disappointed by their situation.  Love Sabotage?

Here are the Top Ten Things Single Women Are Not Aware of:

1. Nearly all of them express shock that my husband and I have moments of disconnection in our very good marriage.

2. Nearly all feel a partner will make them feel something they cannot feel from anyone else.

3. None realize that the bio-chemistry of pleasure feels the same whatever is stimulating it. A good concert, a tail wagging dog, a fantastic dining experience, the hug of a child, the affirmation of a job well done as well as a great partner are just a few of the life happenings that are pleasurable.

4. Nearly all are waiting for “The One” before they travel, move or or start a new career. Life is on hold and they are accepting that.

5. None of them are aware there is a part of them who loves being single and is very good at making sure that nothing changes that.

6. Few realize that self sabotage is really self protection.

7. Few know the strength of their true personal magnetism and the power they have to create a happier life.

8. Most are isolated and none are involved in philanthropy. Nothing grows a heart of love than serving with a charity you love!

9. Nearly all experienced a broken heart around the age of 13.

10. None feels how special they are exactly as they are.

Want to put an end to YOUR single status?  Start here:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

Is that normal?

When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn’t see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.

“I think I am really in love. He makes me feel amazing. Every time we are together, I want to be with him more and more. We laugh and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed with our clothes on. But I don’t WANT to have sex with him. Isn’t that weird????”

She was talking really fast and I could feel her excitement. “Last night we had a long talk about sex, about what we like and don’t like, fantasies and stuff like that. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex.”

“I burst out laughing and said no, I’m not ready and I wasn’t afraid to tell him.”

Then she collapsed in a fit of giggling. “ME!!” She howled, “Me turning down sex!!”

“Are you attracted to him?” I asked.

“That’s the crazy thing,” she said, “He is so handsome! I can’t stop thinking about him and I want to be with him all the time.”

Genevieve’s delight is so tangible, I replay her story over and over in my mind. In a way, when you befriend your saboteur, it is as if your sweet fourteen year old self, the one that was so terribly hurt and disappointed in love all those years ago, is being given a second chance.

I remember Ruby, a Chinese Rapunzel with limited English skills. Coaching her was a challenge as I broke down the steps of breakup recovery into words she could understand. Ruby had met a man on Match.com and after 4 months of happiness, found out he was married.

She knew he lived in a different state. She accepted that he was only in her town for business every couple of weeks. She also was completely blindsided when she found out he was married. As she told me her story, here is a key point:

“In my country, you fall in love first and then you have sex. In your country, you have sex first and then fall in love. I don’t understand.”

No, I said to Ruby, you have it right! You SHOULD be in love before you have sex. Your people have it right. Not because it is morally right or wrong, that is not what this is about. The reason to love first is about hearing from your inner senses, feeling your way along so you know exactly who to sleep with when you do.

Genevieve had slept with so many men, her inner guidance was disconnected. In true Rapunzel fashion, she careened from relationship to relationship having great sex but never connecting with the men in a meaningful way.

Now, with this new man, everything is different. He thrills her. She loves him and she is in no hurry to have sex. Is it normal? Yep, it is for Genevieve. As I ask her every time we speak, how does this feel to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you when you are with him? How happy are you just thinking about him?

As long as you feel your way through opening up to a man and keep yourself feeling high on your scale of happiness, you cannot go wrong. I promise.

What you can’t possibly know when you are a young, is how impossibly delicious the time is before you have sex with someone you adore. It is a time that cannot be restored.  Making it last as long as possible is your goal!

So what do you do? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! I have been married for 5 years now and I still go back to that time to refuel my appreciation for my Larry. I was living about 45 minutes away from him and we were falling in love quickly. I remember watching out the window for his car. I remember seeing it turn down the street.

My heart started to pound. I was so excited he was coming. I made myself wait for a few moments before I answered the door bell even though I wanted to run out and meet him in the parking lot.

He smelled really good and l remember how the fabric of his yellow turtle neck felt under my fingers. We were laying on the couch together looking into each others eyes. The edge between risk of falling in love again and the undeniable physical chemistry drove our enchantment with one another.

I am so happy we had that time. Just like Genevieve and Ruby, I lost a lot of innocence when I was young. Love was twisted and painful in the players on the stage of my life. Blah, blah, blah…who of us doesn’t have drama in the past.

Now, when I see the parts of my husband that are cross and anxious and I dodge for cover, I don’t freak out anymore. I go back to that day in early autumn of 2004 and imagine myself running my hand up Larry’s chest, feeling the softness of his beautiful yellow turtleneck and every single time, I get a flood of the same feelings I had on that day and I love him like that all over again.

So, darling Genevieve, you are learning a new normal for yourself, and you are doing just fine! You are open and curious about your man and all of the loving feelings you are feeling for him are like bread crumbs leading you home.

Love Sabotage will not betray you.  If after 4 months, you are not feeling it for him, you will know clearly and you will be able to move on.

What you can count on is this. If this man is not your forever man, he is SO close that when the right one does find you, it will be even better. I promise.

Wonder if you are  with the right guy?  Click here for a Should I Stay or Should I Go Psychic Reading and find out!

“I am tired of the Law of Attraction.”

“I do everything Abraham says and I am still single.”

“I am SO tired of being alone.”

Sound familiar? It can be searingly difficult to keep the faith with you are working with the Universal Laws. The books, audios and coaching programs all promise great results, so what’s up? Why can’t finding love be easier?

I hear you. Law of Attraction SOUNDS good when you hear it, doesn’t it? If you can learn how to magnetize yourself to love, your perfect match will ‘magically’ appear and your happily ever after is yours at last. Are you rolling your eyes? Great…keep reading!

There is a missing piece to the puzzle and if you are rolling your eyes….you are closer to the missing piece than you think! The one ingredient to manifesting success that flies under the radar and stays out of your view is…..

Are you ready for this? The very frustration you are feeling is the missing link! As you get more and more clear about what kind of relationship you want, you are actually stirring the pot of your past disappointments. This is natural and normal!!

Your brain has been conditioned to create thoughts contrary to loving connection. You read right. Your own brain chemistry is working against you and the only clue you have is your frustration. Why is that a problem?

Simple…Law of Attraction gurus teach you night and day that you must keep our vibration up at all costs, that you must place yourself in the mindset and mood of a happily married soul mate before you can be magnetic enough to have him show up. There is only one problem with that.

In order to create the feeling of mission accomplished before the mission is accomplished is to allow the negative thoughts have a voice. Depression, despair, anger, frustration, sadness, grief and loneliness are all real energies produced by our brains in response to life drama and trauma.

If you don’t recondition your brain to see these events differently….you are stuck in the waiting room forever!!!

Should you just give up? NO!! Your negative feelings are controlling your lackluster love life and there is a safe way to express them. Worrying that you will attract more negative results if you allow yourself to be negative is a trap! You must find away to change your thoughts about the painful past and retraining your brain is the fastest way to get that job done.

So what can you do?

Here are 5 Steps to Keeping Your Faith in The Law of Attraction While You Are Waiting for Love:

1. Don’t Deny Your Feelings: Seems simple, but is so important. When you are feeling blue or find yourself in a funk, don’t be too quick to run from those feelings. You are frustrated and I don’t blame you.

Let your feelings about your singleness have a voice. Now, you don’t want to go venting all over the place and speak all about it, but writing a list of the people who have disappointed you in love is a great step!

2. Evaluate which past relationship is the most painful: Think about a past breakup. Remember the time it happened and see if there is any regret, remorse or rejection still there. On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are your feelings?

3. Lean into your feelings: One of my favorite techniques is a really simple one. After I have figured out the person whose betrayal is stirring me up at the moment, I get a pencil and paper and begin to write his or her first name.

I like using a pencil for this because when I am feeling a lot of intensity about the person, my handwriting shows the intensity. I write the name over and over. Amazing how feelings come up! You will feel yourself getting calmer until the exercise comes to a natural end. I usually start to misspell the name. That is my signal I am done.

4. Allow yourself to accept that person: Should they have broken your heart? No, of course not! But, most of those pesky early heartbreaks were not malicious, even though it may have felt that way at the time. Early relationships are hardwired for drama and trauma.

Can you think of a teenager who isn’t? See that person as someone who did not get you. He didn’t have the skills to let you down easy and he blew it. Seriously…would you want to still be with him? Your brain was trained to withdraw from love because of him and now you can let it go. Believe it or not, that name writing exercise is brain training!

5. You are the one who is the center of your own love universe: When you have control over your own reaction to past emotional hurt, you will shine with confidence! Relationships hurt. That is the way it is.

When you are scared of being hurt again, it is like putting someone else at the center of your love universe. Don’t let another minute go by allowing a long lost love control your future! Admit, allow and adopt your thinking about love and you will be MUCH happier with the LOA and all it offers!

xoxo

I get emails every week from people who say this to me: “I don’t want to be alone when I am old.” There is so much passion and desire and love that is longing to be poured out on another person.

Believe me, there are thousands of men out there looking for the someone exactly like you!! If you go back and read the first letter of my 5 steps, you will see the secret to success. Once you accept this secret as the Universe’s way to prepare you for love, you will see concrete evidence of Love coming into your life….I promise!

Curious about your personal Love Sabotage Style? Take the Sabotage Survey and find out! http://EndLoveSabotage.com

Have you had girlfriends who needed you more than you needed them?

Do you have friends that talk and talk and talk and never ask how you are doing?

Has a woman betrayed your trust?

I am in the middle of a girl friend break up right now.

It is not the first time either. And I am such a nice girl, all sugary Snow White sweet and all.  Over my life time, my Scarlett girl friends have come and gone.  My inner circle has revolving doors and I have had a series of pretty serious heart breaks along the way. I do meet my share of damsels in distress who need a lot of time and attention.  When I stop listening to their drama, they take off.

Sometimes it is natural, a friend might move away. That is what happened with Toni.  Beautiful, kind and gentle Toni.  She was a Snow White like me and we had a natural affinity for one another. During our early 30s we even went to prisons and visited with incarcerated women as part of a religious outreach.  We had experienced many of the same kinds of things growing up and we loved to spend time together.  She was a really close friend.

One day she answered her door with tears in her eyes. Her husband, a corporate ladder climber, had accepted a new position.  Neither of us said anything.  Neither of us could say anything.  My throat literally squeezes shut during moments like this.

When the day came that she left, she didn’t even say good by. That broke my heart.  Years later I found out that she just couldn’t do it.  We sappy Snow Whites get so overly emotional about things we just can’t spit out what needs to be said. If  we do, fumbling and bumbling and awkward exchanges might happen, in fact probably will happen.  Then we hurt other peoples feelings and that is like finger nails down the chalk board for Snow White….intolerable.

That is why it is so uncomfortable to say what I am mistakenly feel is “mean” no matter how much I need to speak up and say stop. Things like stop treating me like this.  Stop expecting something of me and then not telling me what it is.  Stop coming to me only when you need me.  Stop ignoring me when you are upset.  Stop pulling away from me.  Stop avoiding me when I need you.

Where does this discomfort come from?

Another woman in my life who has pulled the plug on friendship. I have had this happen before and I know there are a string of platitudes about season, reason and forever.

That is not what this is about. I understand that sort of thing. But, now this current woman is pulling away abruptly, at a time when I could have really used her support and I am hurt. Once again, hurt feelings have interrupted a friendship.

Only this time, I am stretching my Snow White wings and doing something different.  I decided to say something to her instead of just getting dumped.  So here goes:

Things I Want To Say To My Ex Friend:  Surviving a BFF Breakup

1.  It hurts to lose you. My feelings are hurt.  You were so sudden about it and I don’t even know what I did.  Every time I think about you, my heart hurts.

2.  I know it will be hard for me to trust a new friend again for awhile. I kind of hate that but that is just how I am.  I don’t regret knowing you or having you in my inner circle for awhile.  It hurts to let you go but it is worth having known you even though it was for a short time.

3.  I see now that when you dumped me it reminds me of another time in my past when a friend moved away and never said goodbye to me. I didn’t realize I was still hurt about that.  I’m not mad or upset.  I know life is life and that my inner circle is a fluid place.  There are still parts of a break up that really suck and hurt feelings are a normal part of life.

4.  I wish I would have known when I was younger about hurt feelings. I wish I would have known that they are normal and that they come and go with all relationships.  I wish I knew that focusing on the physical part of the hurt feelings is a much much easier way to feel better.  I wish I would have known that hurt feelings are natural and normal and can be over in the twinkling of an eye if you know what to do.

5.  I am 100% ok with you floating away into the orbits of other fantastic people. My inner circle is small.  I have some long time soul mates and always room for a treasured few that come along life’s path.  I can let you go with an open heart.  I only wish breakups could be handled a bit more delicately.  I wish you abundant good fortune and the personal connections that take you everywhere you want to go.

Do you have a girlfriend break up story to add to the mix?

xoxo

Have you been betrayed by a woman? Just like boyfriend breakups, being dumped by a friend triggers your brain to release a paralyzing combination of neuro-chemicals that literally hijack your mind and send you into Dismal Land.

Would you like to hear what a real Neuroscientist has to say about finding lasting love once and for all?  Dr. Berit Brogaard is my special guest on this special Ask Catherine recording.

Dr. Brogaard, Associate Professor of Psychology and Philosophy, University of Missouri-St.Louis, had her share of life betrayals before she became passionate about the chemistry in it all. What causes people to behave so badly toward one another when a relationship was ending?  Why do normally rationale, intelligent and sensitive human beings become so monstrous when the chips were down?

Discovering the chemistry of break-ups and the lengths women go to in order to avoid that feeling has changed her view of relationship challenges completely.

Dr. Brogaard is doing the most exciting research out there when it comes to why lonely people cannot find love. You can learn to get over heartbreak by using your natural brain chemistry.  Register for your free recording right here:

I really hate to admit this but, I resent Scarlett.

There.  I said it.  Maybe that is why the Scarletts in my life dodge me.  Maybe they can feel it.  It really isn’t fair, I mean, Scarlett can’t help how direct, short tempered and passionate she is.  No more than Snow White can help how patient, accommodating and sweet she is.  How do these love sabotage patterns hold us back from happiness?

Why is it that our very natures bug each other and cause all kinds of relationship drama?

It all starts years ago where all Saboteurs are born, during the teen age years.  Young women are thrust into the crazy social whirlwind of junior high when they are painfully ill equipped to deal with each other.  Raging insecurity rules the day and even the girls who LOOK like they have it going on, struggle with low self esteem.

The time between 13 and 23 is bone chillingly painful for most women. Girls are mean to each other.  I remember watching my daughter go through some terrible times during those years.  Seeing her struggle pulled the strings of my own ancient history.

Ironically, many of us start ACTING like the girls that we think are more acceptable  than we are and that ‘false’ self is at the heart of today’s Love Sabotage habits.  There is nothing harder than projecting a persona that is not your real self.  So why do I resent Scarlett?

I was so jealous of the beautiful, confident and dramatic Scarletts that were popular in my high school. I was way outside the in crowd and felt invisible. I think that is why I became a chameleon.  I was desperate to be accepted.   Now I know how very much we all have in common and I am determined to be my real self no matter what.

I also realize that it isn’t Scarlett that I resent. Scarlett is just a shadowy figure that some girls put on to protect their tender hearts.  I realize that each of us only want one thing….to be loved and accepted.

Here are 5 lessons, words to the wise, from Scarlett herself:

1.  I am not mean! You just let people get away with murder!  You are so nice to everyone even the ones who are mean to you and treat you like dirt.  Don’t be afraid of hurting people’s feelings.  If something is not right, speak up.  You are the one who teaches other people how to treat you. (Thanks Dr. Phil) I only look mean because you don’t understand me.

2. Don’t be upset if some people don’t like you. I don’t waste one red hot second worried that some people don’t like me.  I know who my friends are and I don’t care that some people don’t get me. You try so hard to get everyone to like you and that seems fake to me.  I may not like it all the time, but I respect people being real with me.  No one can be that sweet all the time.

3. Don’t try to be like me. Be yourself.  Secretly I envy how easy going you are.  I know I am sharp and abrupt sometimes but that is only when I am fried. Once I set a goal I go full throttle after what I want.  I don’t mean to bowl people over, it is just my passion and determination to move forward that drives me.   Speak your mind to me and don’t fudge.  I appreciate that more than you know! (see #5 below)

4. I am softer inside than you would ever guess. I have been misunderstood my whole life.  It hurts my feelings when women gang up against me and think I am mean.  It is really hard for me to be seen as weak and wishy washy.  I am not good at asking for what I need and sometimes I cut off friends before they cut me out.  I  get hurt way easier than anyone knows.  Try to see my side of things and don’t try to change me.

5. I more insecure than you know, I just don’t show it. If I hurt your feelings, here is what to do.  I get really lonely and I want to feel connected.  If you say this to me, I have a better chance of hearing your heart.  “I know you care for me and you would never intentionally hurt me, but when you__________________________________, I felt disconnected from you and I value our friendship.”  Even though I have a take no prisoners attitude about most things, I do treasure my close friends and they know the real me.

Bottom line?

The most successful relationships happen when people are REAL. I know that is no surprise, but walking it out can be tricky.  I LOVE Scarlett!!  I need her sass and spark.  I used to resent her because I didn’t understand why I didn’t fit into her crowd.  Knowing how insecure she is some times helps me understand her and I can stop trying to change her to fit my expectations.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if UPS could deliver your mate to you….today?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could skip dating all together?

OK, Wishful Thinker, time to come back to reality.

If you hate to date, that is a problem. Fear of dating is just the tip of the love-repelling iceberg. If there is a way to meet great prospects without dating, I haven’t heard of it yet.

Can you learn to LIKE dating?

Or at least tolerate it?

Let me ask you this, on a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to find a partner?

Dating does not have to be a nightmare! In fact, hating to date is Love Sabotage for sure!! Imagine having your own custom EFT Tapping script so that you can melt your self-consciousness and shine!

Tapping is the best way to put your lonely past behind you and get some traction for you Soul Mate Attraction plan.  With a custom script, you will cut right to the heart of the blocks in your way to finding love.

For more info on how to access your private script crafting session, click right here: http://PsychicEFT.com

PS.  Psychic EFT?  Oh yes….it is the psychic connection that makes these EFT scripts unique.  Nurturing your psychic gifts and learning to be authentic is the key to finding True Love.