There’s a BREAKUP Month?

Believe it or not, there is. There are more breakups in December than any other month of the year. Why? Who knows, maybe it is just that when people think of buying another gift for someone they don’t know as well as they thought they did, they choose to breakup instead.

Or maybe now that it is winter, there isn’t enough snuggling going on. Or maybe the cold weather enforced indoor time is shining a big fat light on the truth…no one is really happy and someone is tired of pretending.

For whatever reason, there are a lot of people looking forward to a lonely Christmas again this year. Are you one of them? If the Breakup Blues are drowning out the holiday music in your life, here are a few things you can do to rise above and get through the next few weeks gracefully.

1. Even though breakups are unavoidable, torturing yourself with dramatic over-reacting is not necessary. Trust a friend to be honest with you. Ask for a reality check. The fact is it was over. At some level you knew. Chances are your friends are dying to tell you to let go and move on.

2. Schedule a massage. Or at the very least, go to the area nail salon and get a pedicure while sitting in a full body massage chair. As you are being massaged, repeat this phrase to yourself: “Thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me.” Based on the Hawaiian healing tradition of ho’ono p’ono, these are the four things you LONG to hear from your former mate. Say them to yourself.

3. Find someone who needs you. Somewhere in your city is a charity you can support whole heartedly. Especially at times like this, it helps to find people who are struggling too. Even though your life sucks right now, the fact is, someone else has it worse. My husband and I love to volunteer at the cat shelter socializing the cats. Helping out with fund raising is another way to support animals.

4. Take a class. Motivate yourself or get a buddy to keep you honest and take a creative class through your area YMCA or Community College. Watercolor, ceramics, memoir writing…read through the catalogs and pick one. Any creative outlet will help you process the emotional energy spinning around inside you right now.

5. Burn Baby Burn. Get a pack of popsicle sticks from your area dollar store. Write out your feelings with a pen. One event per stick. Write until you have nothing more to say. Then, plan on a fire ceremony. Create a fire, in a safe place of course…I have a special pan just for burning, then burn the sticks.

Breakups are inevitable. There is no escape. When your breakup comes, don’t let it be any worse than it has to be. Take good care of you. Trust a friend to be real with you. Purpose to move on. You are worth it.

For more info: The Breakup Cleanse 28 Day Mind~Body Heartbreak Recovery System

“Why can’t I just let go?”

“A part of me cannot see why I need to.  I want it to work out between us even though I know he isn’t the one.”

I heard the sound of quiet weeping on the other end of the phone.

“Is there anything in you that whispers that he might truly change and that you would feel valued, respected and loved?” I asked gently.

“No.” Sighed Sarah. “I think I am afraid that no one else will come.”

I could sense her throat tightening up and feel her tear as it began to touch her cheek. I am able to feel my clients feelings. At first, I feel them when they feel nothing.

I know that is a little weird, but it is true. By the end of our work together, Sarah was able to feel the feelings too. We could resonate together and feel the pulse of life in a cool way.

This Rapunzel like the others before her have been deeply hurt by betrayal and lies. Fear and anger were like the mortar holding her tower of protection into place.

She sabotages by isolating herself, even when she is with someone.  The problem is that the tower is single occupancy and there will never be room for a soul mate to move in.

Once Sarah could let go of her lost dreams and hopes, she began to build a new tower for herself. A Tower with bricks of self acceptance and self compassion with a mortar of love and peace.  Now she is engaged.  Good for you, Sarah!

When you learn to feel what being loved and accepted feels like, really feels like, you won’t be able to settle anymore. You already have experiences within your tapestry of memories of exquisite moments.

Moments like being acknowledged publicly at work or school, cheered on at a toddler ballet recital, wept over by your emotional mom while you played a viola piece you loved or the first powerful and oh so innocent crush on that first guy.

The problem is that those great memories are hidden in the dark complication of the remorse, regrets and rejection in the years between then and now. The flow of these three invisible energetic forces, Regret, Remorse and Rejection is a raging river separating you from your own core.

You are separated from the center of your own heart. You on one side of that river, your heart on the other. Without your heart, you cannot attract your true love.

Even though you have your vision board and are saying affirmations and you are claiming that you are ready for love, you are radiating loneliness, disappointment and emptiness on an energetic level.  And girl, you have to do something about that.

This raging river of ill will toward men in general and romance in particular, rushing through your emotions, is dominating your choices, your language, your mood and your reactions to life circumstances. It controls your love life by attracting men who have raging rivers of their own.

These relationships are certain to fall apart when the pain each person feels is blamed, consciously or unconsciously on the other. Then you get into a vicious cycle and the river rages stronger and stronger.

EFT is the best tool I know to neutralize that river….calm it down and transform it into Peace, Detachment and Acceptance. Once the forces within you are operating in calmness and ease, and the inner river is flowing easily with no stress, memories from the past that hold real creative juice will come forward.

You already have every thing you need to feel the deep magnetism that assures you that you are loved. The power of past love and disappointment is the block needing your attention.

Knowing you are ok and everything is progressing along at its perfect rate is hard, Rapunzel, I know you are tired of waiting. Your expectations can easily get inflated setting yourself up for disappointment.

Tell yourself things like this: “My life is unfolding at the exact right pace.” “I am learning to see good things that are coming my way…even if they are tiny.” “I want to feel happy”. “Being happy feels really good.” Even if it doesn’t feel like it is doing any good. It is. Your ears need to hear your voice carrying this positivity to your brain.

Once you radiate your authentic self, free of any fears of criticism or ridicule, you’re there. There is someone out there who is looking for exactly that….your real and true adorable self.

He is out there, Sweet Rapunzel, don’t compromise what is most precious to you to stay with a man. Be a soul mate to your own Soul first, then you are ready to be open to Your True Love, you will feel it clearly.

Can you relate?  Wonder if you might be a Rapunzel?  Take the Love Sabotage Assessment and check it out for free:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

“It’s been a year since he left me and I still can’t move on.”

The voice on the other end of the phone dripped with emotion. Voice shaking, she went on to tell her story. Married for 15 years to the love of

her life, she came home one day and he was gone.

“I haven’t loved you in years.” The note on the kitchen table said. “You may not be able to see it now, but someday you will thank me for this”

WHAT?

As I listened to the quiet sobbing on the other end of the phone, tears came to my own eyes. I know what it feels like to be abandoned. How about you? Are you still wrapped up tight in the pain of your breakup? Are you embarrassed because you didn’t see it coming? Are you terrified to move forward and not sure what to do?

It is 100% normal to feel these things. Countless people STAY in bad relationships because they are terrified by another breakup. You may think you are hopelessly lost but at least you are out of the relationship and that is a good thing. Even if you can’t see that right now.

You can learn how to let go of your ex. Here are three steps you can take today to start finding your way out of the dark.

1. Stop Picking On Yourself. How many times have your criticized yourself in the days since your breakup? Thoughts like “How could I have been such an idiot?” “What is wrong with me?” “I’ll never trust a man again.” “I am doomed to attracting emotionally vacant women.”

You have to stop doing this. As Louise Hay says, “Stop terrifying yourself.” I know you went through the worst breakup ever, but believe it or not, the breakup IS NOT HURTING YOU! It is your THOUGHTS about the break up that are killing you. The good news is you are the only one who can change your thoughts. Pretty good news when you feel so out of control right now.

2. Get Your Emotional Turmoil Out Of You. Write letters to your ex and burn them or take a black crayon and scribble on as many pieces of paper as you need to. I know this sounds lame and seems like putting a bandaid on an amputation.

I know everything in you resists this but, and this is a big but, can’t you feel your thoughts running around in a never ending circle? A part of you is hanging on to the pain with all its might. Strange but true.

A part of you does not want to recover? Why? Could be that being in pain is the only way you can create a cushion of safety around yourself so you won’t try again and invest in a new Love?  Security is a strong motivator.

If you write your heart out and tell the no good S.O.B what you think about what he did and then BURN it, you will feel empowered. You will feel more secure and calmer.

3. Get Help. Send out an SOS to your closest friends. Get some advice on where you can get some support. One of your friends has an experience just like yours. Ask how they moved on. My first step was Al-Anon. That wonderful group of people helped me face the inevitable.

Besides that, it was Emotional Freedom Technique that turned my life around. EFT allowed me to forgive myself and everyone else who added to the drama. EFT also helped me accept my clairvoyance and opened me to seeing the world with completely different eyes. Each person has to find their own answer in this journey toward healing but when you share your resources, you find the direction you need.

Remember that the best revenge is a happy life. Put that ex behind you once and for all and find a way to be happy again. It is SO worth the effort. You are a beautiful person who trusted and loved and grew. You can do that again if you choose to, pick a strategy and find a way to move forward. I believe in you.

Are you ready for New Love? http://EndLoveSabotage and start today!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I know a bit of magic.

Once upon a time, many moons ago, a man broke my heart.  He disappeared without a word after a brief and passionate affair.  I had been numbingly attracted to him and the sex was amazing.  In fact, it was after we had the best sex ever, he started to pull away.

I was hurt and obsessing.  I felt trapped by my feelings. As badly as he treated me at the end, I still really cared for him.  I opened my heart to him, something that was huge as I hadn’t trusted anyone like that for a very long time.  And he disappeared.  I was devastated.

After weeks of checking my cell phone countless times a day and texting him with no reply, I knew I had to do something to detach myself. I tried everything I could think of but he was lodged firmly in my mind and wouldn’t go.

Then, after a few months, the phone rings.  He wanted to see me.  Of course, against everything in me, I agreed.  My heart pounded as I anticipated the door bell ringing.  When he got there, the chemistry was as strong as ever.  Part of me was screaming: NO…..NO.  But he was irresistible.

It was, of course, a booty call. The rat.  I wanted to.  I knew it would feel amazing.  But I did the bravest thing I had done to that point.  I told him no.  He was respectful, gave me a hug and left.  Boy did I ache inside.  So unfair…how can someone so bad for you be so darn attractive.

I went in to a tail spin again and my self esteem crashed and burned. It was during this time I found the answer.  I learned about a technique that completely changed my life.  I was able to FINALLY let him go.  Really let him go.  It is my secret weapon and I teach it to everyone who comes my way looking for a way to move on.

The secret elixir is EFT. EFT saved me.  I was able to release my feelings easily and permanently with a simple pattern of tapping, yes tapping.  I learned how to tap on acupuncture points around my upper body.  The results were astounding.

Not only did EFT help me let go of this man, my self confidence went through the roof.  I now use EFT all the time to change my mood and improve my disposition.  I love it.  It is easy to learn and anyone can do it!!

Are You Ready for New Love?  Take the Soul Mate Quiz and find out.  Just click here:  http://AttractYourSoulMateNow.com