Stressing and Obsessing about that ex of yours has to come to an end. How badly do you want a guy who really treats you right?  Seriously, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you crave a forever partner?

Can you see how important it is to get control over your emotions?  How attractive are you when you are freaking out?

Guy Kayasaki in his FAB book Enchantment, describes an excellent boss who remains at the top of his game because he constantly reminds himself what a tough boss he is to work with.

You have to face the fact that you are a complicated package. You feel things deeply and don’t feel understood very often.  Don’t you get hurt feelings a lot of the time?  How attractive is that, right?

I recently got this question from a frustrated Rapunzel, one of my private members,  who has no trouble seeing her faults, in fact she has slipped to the other side of the equation and is ‘beating up on herself’ at her inability to stop stressing and obsessing.  Here is her note and my answer:

Dear Catherine,

Sometimes I start using EFT on an issue and then another becomes apparent and another and so on and then I feel very overwhelmed at which one I need to focus on, in other words, which issue is the core issue?

I then feel very frustrated and angry with myself for having so many issues and for not being tough enough to “get over myself”!

Is there an exercise that can help find the core issue so that I can focus on that? Does anyone else feel this way sometimes?

Hi Rapunzel,

Thanks for such a great question!

When you are tapping on a problem and another problem comes to your mind, we have a couple of things to hash out.

Here are some tips for creating a great tapping script when you are overwhelmed:

1. You will have easiest results when you get to as specific an incident to tap on as possible. For example, Bossy Betty at work is not good to tap on, the time Bossy Betty spilled coffee on the report you had been working on for three weeks is.  If you are not specific enough, your mind searches for something to hook on to and jumps all over the place.

2. If Bossy Betty is the problem, think of the last thing she did that really got to you. Then get out a notebook and write the thing down, in movie title form:

The Time Bossy Betty Spilled Coffee on the Report. (Sometimes my beloved Rapunzels point out to me that Bossy Betty does 100 things a day that are annoying. I know. But to kick start your brain into the pleasure zone, you have to pick one.)

Now ask yourself: What Bugs Me About That? Wait for the answer. Write it down and then ask the question again. Keep repeating until you reach the end.

This is magical brain detective work and will help you find what is really at the bottom of your reaction to Bossy Betty.

Here is an example:

The Time that Bitch Bossy Betty Ruined my Report. (A Little Drama Allowed)

What bugs me about that? I worked so hard on the thing.

What bugs me about that? Not only did I not get credit, now I have to start over.

What bugs me about that? Her stupidity

What bugs me about that? People should know better

What bugs me about that? People are so careless

What bugs me about that? People should care

What bugs me about that? People should care about how hard I work

What bugs me about that? They are taking advantage of me

What bugs me about that? I hate it here

What bugs me about that? I’m wasting so much time.

I recently heard a quote I love. Life is 20% what happens to you and 80% how you react to it. So, so true. Take your time and just keep asking the question over and over until you get the true answer.

Now you have the perfect EFT tapping script. Just go through the points tapping on each answer. Then finish with a round that says this or something like it:

“Thank you Universe that dingy Bossy Betty spilled the bleepin’ coffee on my report because if she didn’t, I wouldn’t have tracked down that place in my brain that hid the pain from me.

Thank you for showing me the parts of my brain that make me feel overwhelmed. Thank you for helping me calm and settle my brain chemistry.”

It might feel weird to use words like brain and brain chemistry when you are manifesting your soul mate but go ahead and do it anyway. Your brain is confused… programmed wrong….. it is the root of your love sabotage.

Life has conditioned your brain to act as if Love hurts and is potentially fatal (I know that is a little dramatic, but the Saboteur’s love it that way….that’s why you are still single!)

When you track down the grand daddy aha at the bottom of your questions, you then bring refreshing restorative pleasure brain chemicals into that very place. Sweet relief?

You bet, and remember, Abraham Hicks has been telling us for years that our number one goal should be relief. They are so so right!

You can train your brain to fall in love. Keep using all the tools you are learning. EFT is my personal favorite, however there are literally dozens of techniques you can use to change your brain’s chemical state.

Your job is to recognize when you are freaking out and deal with it as a physical brain issue first. This takes practice, but you can do it.  Once you relieve the stress chemicals and find relief, then make the decision that is freaking you out. Then for sure you will stop freaking out about your ex.

Wouldn’t it be lovely if UPS could deliver your mate to you….today?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could skip dating all together?

OK, Wishful Thinker, time to come back to reality.

If you hate to date, that is a problem. Fear of dating is just the tip of the love-repelling iceberg. If there is a way to meet great prospects without dating, I haven’t heard of it yet.

Can you learn to LIKE dating?

Or at least tolerate it?

Let me ask you this, on a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to find a partner?

Dating does not have to be a nightmare! In fact, hating to date is Love Sabotage for sure!! Imagine having your own custom EFT Tapping script so that you can melt your self-consciousness and shine!

Tapping is the best way to put your lonely past behind you and get some traction for you Soul Mate Attraction plan.  With a custom script, you will cut right to the heart of the blocks in your way to finding love.

For more info on how to access your private script crafting session, click right here: http://PsychicEFT.com

PS.  Psychic EFT?  Oh yes….it is the psychic connection that makes these EFT scripts unique.  Nurturing your psychic gifts and learning to be authentic is the key to finding True Love.

“How long has it been since you broke up?”

“Three years since he broke our engagement”  The somber woman reported.

“Three years?” I repeated.  “Have you dated at all since then?”

“I’ve tried but I keep meeting married guys or players.”

“Sounds like you are pretty discouraged.”

“I am.  But I am so ready to move on. I don’t want to waste another minute being mad at him anymore.  It’s just killing me!”  She said with an ironic laugh.  “I thought he was the one, I was wrong and I deserve another chance!”

“You bet you do!” I smiled. “Let’s talk about getting over Lost Love…..let me tell you about Monica.  She is a Scarlett too and  well….seeing is believing, take a look:”

Are you ready for real change?

Are you tired of your Saboteur keeping love at a distance?

Have you been searching for an easy way to melt your self sabotage?

You are in the right place!

Welcome to EFT Cupid: Tap Into Love

Do you wish you could learn how to use EFT to attract your Soul Mate? I hear you and every other week I lead EFT practice sessions for my members.

You will work with me personally to turbo charge your own EFT results. There is something amazing about doing EFT in a group.

The unified intention of the callers to Find Real Love is magical. I am opening this new program so that I can work with all of the Rapunzels, Snow Whites and Scarletts out there who are ready for LOVE!

The EFT Cupid program is included in my private membership site and you can try it for only $9.97 for a month to see if you like it.

Just click right here for all of the info:  http://EFTCupid.com

Loving you and your Saboteur!  Come Tap yourself into True Love!

How to Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life Once and For All

The time is right to let go of a few of the ghosts of boyfriends past.

Don’t think you have any?  Here is how to check it out:

Think of a past breakup. Remember one particularly difficult day, perhaps a time when he said or did something especially hurtful. How bad was it at the time?  On a scale of 1 to 10, how intense was it?  Does it still have a sting today?  How strong is it on a scale of 1 to 10?

If you still feel sad, hurt or angry, guess what. You are still plugged into that very day energetically. It is like a part of yourself is living it over and over and over again.  This “ghost” from the past needs to go or Love will never find you.

Believe it or not, there is one simple idea that will change everything for you.

As simple as it sounds, the insight that will transform your love life forever is this:

The real barrier to attracting love is not outside you, but inside you in the hands of your Saboteur.

Even though you long for love, a part of you is sure it is impossible to have a truly great relationship. As a result, you actually push love away, repelling the wonderful men who are perfect matches—without even realizing it.

Once you can identify these inner obstacles to love and release yourself from the painful past, you’ll finally become magnetic to the love of your life.

Don’t spend one more minute just wishing for love!

Your deepest heart’s desire is possible.  You can learn to change your luck in love.  You just need the tools to retrain your brain so you trust yourself to fall in love once again!

When you learn how to End Love Sabotage, you will meet a whole different caliber of men. Once you prove to yourself that you are ready, the rest is easy.

Find out:

* Why you keep going back to the men who have broken up with you

* How to know if the man you are with is the One or if you should move on

* Where to look for your Soul Mate

* How to instantly change your mood whenever you need to

* How to find the real culprits…the grand daddy beliefs that are keeping love out of your life and releasing them once and for all!

* How to speak Sabotese:  The Language of Attraction that Your Saboteur Will Trust and Embrace

* How to set an intention for love that works

* The biggest mistake you’re making when it comes to men and how to stop making it

* How to activate your personal magnetism to draw your new love toward you instead of sending him to the arms of another

* Why Affirmations don’t work and tools you need to create powerful Magnetic Statements that get real results

* How to awaken and engage your intuition and imagination so you work With Universal Laws, not against them.

*Now that your love vibe is changing what to do differently to meet Mr. Right

The End Love Sabotage System is the driving force in the Soul Mate Success Circle. Every week there is a teleseminar event and students are invited to participate every call.  Not only that, for a small fee, you can take a risk free trial to see if it is what you are looking for:

Check it out for $9.97 for first month

then $47 monthly. (Value: $197 per month)

Click Here To Register:

Does your score card for Valentine’s Day have more losses than wins?

Did it start back in grade school when you didn’t get as many cards as the other kids?

Have you ever been dumped right before the big day?

Did you know that more breakups happen in January than any other month?

This time of year can be pretty tough and I have a feeling that you have seen more than your share of drama and trauma.  If cynicism, disappointment or remorse is creeping into your Valentine’s Day Mindset, it doesn’t feel very good does it.

If you feel snarky and lonely and annoyed at just about everything, these days, you might have S.A.D. (Seasonal Alignment Disorder). Here are a few symptoms:

* You gag at a kiss belongs to Kaye Jewelry commercials.

* You hate the greeting card companies for conspiring with the florists to feed the egos of the sappy girls who don’t even know how to appreciate the men they have.

* You remember the boyfriend who cheated and betrayed you and make snarky comments about his new girl.

* You rent a sappy romance and watch it with a box of kleenex, a pound of chocolate and a bottle of red wine and have a pity party.

* You say you don’t care this year because you need to lose 10 pounds like someone would want to be with you now anyway.

* You think what year it is and you wonder…”Is it too late for me?” and “Why is it fair that girl gets to have her man?” or “Can I still have a family?”

Sound familiar? Don’t give up. You can put the S.A.D. monster into its place. All you need is to find something to distract your self.  When you get control of your thinking you can remind yourself that you are doing really very well, (you are you know).

Keeping yourself magnetized for love when you are feeling blue or when your chips are down is possible. You just need to know how to break through your self sabotage habits so you can finally open your heart again.

As Abraham Hicks repeats tirelessly, once you get your self back into alignment, you will always feel so much better! In English?  Don’t let yourself wallow in the dreaded victim vibe.  Find your True Love Saboteur and seduce her into cooperating with you.

I want to help you feel better about love so I have a special no cost resource for you! I recorded  a special Valentine’s Day 911 call, actually two of them, and they are my gift to anyone who wants to Feel Loved on Valentine’s Day.

Whether you are a Snow White, Rapunzel, Sleeping Beauty or Scarlett O’Hara, you will profit from this recording. Each type learns a bit differently and all can learn from each other. A little laughter, a little teaching and a virtual hug keeps your love magnet vibing strong.

I answered lots of your questions about attracting love and the Law of Attraction.  Watch for future calls, I would love to meet you too!

Just register right here and you will get instant access to the two recordings from Valentine’s 911 in 2011.

♥  ♥  ♥

Are you still broken hearted from your ex three exes ago?   Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! Get the break through you need. For only $47 you can listen in and work with me monthly in virtual coaching events. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly    answering questions and leading text EFT tapping. I’d love to meet you there!  SoulMateSuccessCircle

“Why can’t I just let go?”

“A part of me cannot see why I need to.  I want it to work out between us even though I know he isn’t the one.”

I heard the sound of quiet weeping on the other end of the phone.

“Is there anything in you that whispers that he might truly change and that you would feel valued, respected and loved?” I asked gently.

“No.” Sighed Sarah. “I think I am afraid that no one else will come.”

I could sense her throat tightening up and feel her tear as it began to touch her cheek. I am able to feel my clients feelings. At first, I feel them when they feel nothing.

I know that is a little weird, but it is true. By the end of our work together, Sarah was able to feel the feelings too. We could resonate together and feel the pulse of life in a cool way.

This Rapunzel like the others before her have been deeply hurt by betrayal and lies. Fear and anger were like the mortar holding her tower of protection into place.

She sabotages by isolating herself, even when she is with someone.  The problem is that the tower is single occupancy and there will never be room for a soul mate to move in.

Once Sarah could let go of her lost dreams and hopes, she began to build a new tower for herself. A Tower with bricks of self acceptance and self compassion with a mortar of love and peace.  Now she is engaged.  Good for you, Sarah!

When you learn to feel what being loved and accepted feels like, really feels like, you won’t be able to settle anymore. You already have experiences within your tapestry of memories of exquisite moments.

Moments like being acknowledged publicly at work or school, cheered on at a toddler ballet recital, wept over by your emotional mom while you played a viola piece you loved or the first powerful and oh so innocent crush on that first guy.

The problem is that those great memories are hidden in the dark complication of the remorse, regrets and rejection in the years between then and now. The flow of these three invisible energetic forces, Regret, Remorse and Rejection is a raging river separating you from your own core.

You are separated from the center of your own heart. You on one side of that river, your heart on the other. Without your heart, you cannot attract your true love.

Even though you have your vision board and are saying affirmations and you are claiming that you are ready for love, you are radiating loneliness, disappointment and emptiness on an energetic level.  And girl, you have to do something about that.

This raging river of ill will toward men in general and romance in particular, rushing through your emotions, is dominating your choices, your language, your mood and your reactions to life circumstances. It controls your love life by attracting men who have raging rivers of their own.

These relationships are certain to fall apart when the pain each person feels is blamed, consciously or unconsciously on the other. Then you get into a vicious cycle and the river rages stronger and stronger.

EFT is the best tool I know to neutralize that river….calm it down and transform it into Peace, Detachment and Acceptance. Once the forces within you are operating in calmness and ease, and the inner river is flowing easily with no stress, memories from the past that hold real creative juice will come forward.

You already have every thing you need to feel the deep magnetism that assures you that you are loved. The power of past love and disappointment is the block needing your attention.

Knowing you are ok and everything is progressing along at its perfect rate is hard, Rapunzel, I know you are tired of waiting. Your expectations can easily get inflated setting yourself up for disappointment.

Tell yourself things like this: “My life is unfolding at the exact right pace.” “I am learning to see good things that are coming my way…even if they are tiny.” “I want to feel happy”. “Being happy feels really good.” Even if it doesn’t feel like it is doing any good. It is. Your ears need to hear your voice carrying this positivity to your brain.

Once you radiate your authentic self, free of any fears of criticism or ridicule, you’re there. There is someone out there who is looking for exactly that….your real and true adorable self.

He is out there, Sweet Rapunzel, don’t compromise what is most precious to you to stay with a man. Be a soul mate to your own Soul first, then you are ready to be open to Your True Love, you will feel it clearly.

Can you relate?  Wonder if you might be a Rapunzel?  Take the Love Sabotage Assessment and check it out for free:  http://EndLoveSabotage.com

“It’s been a year since he left me and I still can’t move on.”

The voice on the other end of the phone dripped with emotion. Voice shaking, she went on to tell her story. Married for 15 years to the love of

her life, she came home one day and he was gone.

“I haven’t loved you in years.” The note on the kitchen table said. “You may not be able to see it now, but someday you will thank me for this”

WHAT?

As I listened to the quiet sobbing on the other end of the phone, tears came to my own eyes. I know what it feels like to be abandoned. How about you? Are you still wrapped up tight in the pain of your breakup? Are you embarrassed because you didn’t see it coming? Are you terrified to move forward and not sure what to do?

It is 100% normal to feel these things. Countless people STAY in bad relationships because they are terrified by another breakup. You may think you are hopelessly lost but at least you are out of the relationship and that is a good thing. Even if you can’t see that right now.

You can learn how to let go of your ex. Here are three steps you can take today to start finding your way out of the dark.

1. Stop Picking On Yourself. How many times have your criticized yourself in the days since your breakup? Thoughts like “How could I have been such an idiot?” “What is wrong with me?” “I’ll never trust a man again.” “I am doomed to attracting emotionally vacant women.”

You have to stop doing this. As Louise Hay says, “Stop terrifying yourself.” I know you went through the worst breakup ever, but believe it or not, the breakup IS NOT HURTING YOU! It is your THOUGHTS about the break up that are killing you. The good news is you are the only one who can change your thoughts. Pretty good news when you feel so out of control right now.

2. Get Your Emotional Turmoil Out Of You. Write letters to your ex and burn them or take a black crayon and scribble on as many pieces of paper as you need to. I know this sounds lame and seems like putting a bandaid on an amputation.

I know everything in you resists this but, and this is a big but, can’t you feel your thoughts running around in a never ending circle? A part of you is hanging on to the pain with all its might. Strange but true.

A part of you does not want to recover? Why? Could be that being in pain is the only way you can create a cushion of safety around yourself so you won’t try again and invest in a new Love?  Security is a strong motivator.

If you write your heart out and tell the no good S.O.B what you think about what he did and then BURN it, you will feel empowered. You will feel more secure and calmer.

3. Get Help. Send out an SOS to your closest friends. Get some advice on where you can get some support. One of your friends has an experience just like yours. Ask how they moved on. My first step was Al-Anon. That wonderful group of people helped me face the inevitable.

Besides that, it was Emotional Freedom Technique that turned my life around. EFT allowed me to forgive myself and everyone else who added to the drama. EFT also helped me accept my clairvoyance and opened me to seeing the world with completely different eyes. Each person has to find their own answer in this journey toward healing but when you share your resources, you find the direction you need.

Remember that the best revenge is a happy life. Put that ex behind you once and for all and find a way to be happy again. It is SO worth the effort. You are a beautiful person who trusted and loved and grew. You can do that again if you choose to, pick a strategy and find a way to move forward. I believe in you.

Are you ready for New Love? http://EndLoveSabotage and start today!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

I know a bit of magic.

Once upon a time, many moons ago, a man broke my heart.  He disappeared without a word after a brief and passionate affair.  I had been numbingly attracted to him and the sex was amazing.  In fact, it was after we had the best sex ever, he started to pull away.

I was hurt and obsessing.  I felt trapped by my feelings. As badly as he treated me at the end, I still really cared for him.  I opened my heart to him, something that was huge as I hadn’t trusted anyone like that for a very long time.  And he disappeared.  I was devastated.

After weeks of checking my cell phone countless times a day and texting him with no reply, I knew I had to do something to detach myself. I tried everything I could think of but he was lodged firmly in my mind and wouldn’t go.

Then, after a few months, the phone rings.  He wanted to see me.  Of course, against everything in me, I agreed.  My heart pounded as I anticipated the door bell ringing.  When he got there, the chemistry was as strong as ever.  Part of me was screaming: NO…..NO.  But he was irresistible.

It was, of course, a booty call. The rat.  I wanted to.  I knew it would feel amazing.  But I did the bravest thing I had done to that point.  I told him no.  He was respectful, gave me a hug and left.  Boy did I ache inside.  So unfair…how can someone so bad for you be so darn attractive.

I went in to a tail spin again and my self esteem crashed and burned. It was during this time I found the answer.  I learned about a technique that completely changed my life.  I was able to FINALLY let him go.  Really let him go.  It is my secret weapon and I teach it to everyone who comes my way looking for a way to move on.

The secret elixir is EFT. EFT saved me.  I was able to release my feelings easily and permanently with a simple pattern of tapping, yes tapping.  I learned how to tap on acupuncture points around my upper body.  The results were astounding.

Not only did EFT help me let go of this man, my self confidence went through the roof.  I now use EFT all the time to change my mood and improve my disposition.  I love it.  It is easy to learn and anyone can do it!!

Are You Ready for New Love?  Take the Soul Mate Quiz and find out.  Just click here:  http://AttractYourSoulMateNow.com