You look hot and you know it. New shoes, new makeup, new dress. Mani and Pedi with hot wax treatment. You spend the extra twenty minutes to look just right. You walk out to living room and he says:

“We‘re late, are you finally ready?”

What?

Isn’t this the same man who told you how beautiful you are every time you went anywhere, even to Home Depot? Do you miss his compliments? Do you miss how he used to look at you?

It is not unusual for your man to fall into a flow of day to day life where your appearance is not the most important thing to him. Try not to assume anything or read anything into his misstep.

Instead, take some action and get yourself noticed! One of my client’s mantras is “Why is it always up to the women?” I know, I know, but think of it this way. He doesn’t know how much this is bothering you so you need to let him know. When you can start to get compliments from other people and enjoy them, the pressure is off of him to be your sole provider!

Meanwhile, here are three action steps that will get you into the flow of compliments that are already all around you:

1. Ask for compliments. This is a radical idea, not for the faint of spiritual heart. Start your day asking the Universe, the Divine or whatever you call your higher power to send you people who will compliment you. The Law of Attraction LOVES an assignment like this. You ask and then just watch what happens as you go about your business. Try it. Getting compliments always feels terrific and they don’t have to just come from your man!

2. Compliment yourself. This may sound a little loony to you, don’t blame you for that, but it really works. How can we expect compliments from our men when we don’t even appreciate our own looks? Tell yourself how hot you look and do it out loud. Amazing how a week of this will feed your need to feel great about yourself!  Can more romance be far behind?

3. Compliment random strangers. Think how great it feels when someone notices your new haircut or shoes. Plan on complimenting three strangers a day on something you admire. Watch their reaction; see if you catch any delight or self-consciousness.

Think of giving compliments as planting seeds. The more you plant, the more luscious fruit you will reap. After one week of your new complimenting habit, re-evaluate exactly how you want your man to respond to your fashion choices and how you look. Then tell him kindly and directly how his words make you feel. If you don’t need all your complimenting from him, he just may surprise you!

You Hold His Heart In Your Hands

Things are tough these days. It doesn’t take a masters in economics to know that there is a dark

shadow hanging over the men in our lives.

With women taking more and more of a role in the money making and financial contributions at home, men are struggling to know what we expect from them. There is a primal urge in men to be the protectors and defenders and the stark reality of our national money problems is really shaking things up.

What is a Soul Mate to do? Learning to MANIFY your man is critical to making him feel cherished, admired and respected. When he feels appreciated this way, affection is more natural. You are the one reading this article and it is you who can start a change in the atmosphere in your home.

Here are Five Keys To Connecting To Your Man. Your acceptance of him, especially when he is so uncertain about his role will reap huge rewards for you!

1. Check Your Thoughts At The Door. Thinking about how he is letting you and the family down is not helping anything. Do a thought audit. Any thoughts that hold an opinion about what he is NOT doing need to be redirected. The easiest way to do this is to put “Even though” at the beginning of the thought and “I choose to love him anyway” at the end. For example:

“He won’t ask for more hours and I hate that because if he did, we would have more money.” Changes to: “Even though I hate it when he won’t ask for more hours, I choose to love him anyway.”

2. Praise Him For What He Is Doing. Ladies, we must be creative. Your man wants to hear how proud you are of him. There are opportunities every day to let him know you appreciate what he is trying to do, ESPECIALLY when you are aware of what he is not doing. Even if it is something like, “Honey, I love how responsible you are about getting to work on time every day.” or even “I am so impressed with how hard you work for us.” He LOVES your sincere praise.

3. Ask How You Can Support Him. He may say there is nothing you can do, and that is ok. He has his share of worries. Kindly asking “Is there anything I can do to support you right now?” may help him by opening his mind to asking you for help at a later time.

4. Make Him His Favorite Meal. This is such a simple but profound way to show your man how important he is to you. The way to a man’s heart IS his stomach and a warm meal prepared with love will always make him feel cherished.

5. Invite Him To Have Sex With You. This may be a challenge for you, especially if you are feeling overwhelmed yourself. Sex is comforting to a man and MANIFIES him like nothing else. Once you are determined to make your man feel cherished and you follow the other steps to connect with him, you will find it much easier to open yourself to a loving encounter.

When you are committed to being a Soul Mate to your man, he will get it. He may not understand what you are doing but he will feel the change in your attitude and you will be amazed at the changes you will see in him!

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of hearing how bad things are on the news. Everywhere you turn there is some one parceling out another dose of doomsday thinking about the economy. Sheesh….it is hard for a romantic to keep her pink bubble in flight!

When I saw the book “Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men And Women Cope Differently with Stress” by John Gray, I snatched it up immediately. After leafing through and reading a couple of pages, I felt a wave of compassion hit me, went to find my husband and gave him a big hug, bless him!
Not one of us is easy when under stress, not even sunshiney me.

Here is a passage from the introduction:

“The more aware we are of our natural differences, the more tolerant we become when and if those differences show up. Instead of thinking, What’s wrong with my partner? you are able to ponder what is wrong with the way you are approaching her. Instead of concluding that your partner is purposely being inconsiderate, you can at least feel some comfort knowing that he is oblivious or clueless. Accepting our differences can immediately lighten up our relationships.”

This is what I know for sure: I want romance and love in my life and I am not going to let the economic melt down stop me. I love the concepts in this book. I am eager to learn how stress impacts men because I think it will help me understand my husband and be more patient with him.

I also need to handle my own stress with love and self compassion. Uncertainty is tough for me and my career is challenging me to stay balanced and preserve time for relaxation, playtime and romance. I have workaholic tendencies and love what I do and my old ways of “work a little harder and a little longer” are adding to my stress level. I know I have a lot to learn too.

What about you? Stress interfering with YOUR romantic life? Did you say. “What romantic life?” I get it! Here we are in a place where a warm hug and snuggling in front of the fire would be exactly what the doctor ordered and yet we are so stressed out, we look at each other like the enemy!!

Here is an invitation for you! Head over to your area bookstore and buy this book. I am going to be reading and commenting on it and would LOVE your company. Let’s be patient with one another and see if we can mine some relationship gold in the dark times we face!

Where there is a will, there is a way and I say MORE LOVE is what to focus on!! You two have made it through a lot of hairy stuff over the years, let’s move into a new level of togetherness in spite of our differences!!

Can you relate? How is stress impacting YOUR relationship?

Moon lit dinner on the beach in Jamaica may not be on your radar this Valentines Day but don’t despair. Romance is not dependent on the economy and here are 10 winning ideas for you and your sweetheart this year.

1. One of my favorite Valentine’s day moments was when I sent my husband out to the market and while he was gone, I left rose petals from the front door to the bathroom where I had a bubble bath and a glass of champagne waiting for him.

2. Your local dollar store is a great holiday resource and you will find a great selection of house and table decorations to decorate your space.

3. Prepare a red meal…all food is red! Spaghetti, rare roast beef, cranberry sauce, cherry pie…use your imagination and your favorite cook book for inspiration.

4. L eave heart shaped notes in the places that your sweet heart will be sure to find them: in his shower, on the steering wheel of his car or in the morning newspaper. You can even find heart shaped post it notes at Staples.

5. Give your honey a special massage. Light candles, lay a heavy towel on the floor and put the massage oil in a bowl of warm water. Put on some relaxing music and knead the daily tension right out of him.

6. Take him to the imaginary beach by planning an indoor picnic. Fill a basket with cheese, bread and wine, lay a table cloth of the floor and bring out the backgammon board. Have a bottle of sun screen and a couple pair of sunglasses as props.

7. E mail him a list of the reasons you appreciate him.

8. Start a “What I Like About You Journal.” Keep it out in plain view and take turns adding to it. Try to write a couple of ideas every day.

9. Have a romantic dinner out….at home! Cook a favorite meal and then dress up as if you were eating out. Light the candles, put the music on and imagine you are in an exotic locale

10. Give him handmade coupons for personal favors you will give him when he presents them to you. Could be for anything from household chores he usually takes care of to snuggles and huggles. Use your imagination! Here is a link for some printable Valentine’s coupons: Printable Valentine’s Coupons

Above all remember, things may be tough right now and both of you may be under a lot of pressure, but you can still take time to connect to one another. It is more important now than ever to find simple ways to appreciate one another!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Would you like to use EFT to attract YOUR soul mate? Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! For only $47 you can listen in and tap along with me monthly in group coaching calls. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly answering questions and leading text tapping. Want to check it out?    SoulMateSuccessCircle