Break Up Recovery

10
Feb

Since February 1, I have been part of a team at YourTango.com offering great tips and advice during their second bigstock Eviction notice letter illustr 21529205 300x268 Ready to Dump Your Ex...Once and For All?annual Break Up With Your Ex campaign.

Our mission has been to encourage the seventy-one percent of our readers who think about their ex “too much” to cut the cord and finally move on, and we’ve dubbed Monday, February 13, the perfect day to do so!

Please join us in defriending, unfollowing and deleting your exes on Break Up With Your Ex Day – we’ll be celebrating all day long by throwing a fabulous Twitter Party (with prizes!) co-hosted by Bliss.com, and streaming a live chat with our CEO Andrea Miller and author Arielle Ford about making new love last.

If you want to break up with your ex but don’t know where to start, here’s where to start:

Do you need to evict your Ex…for good?

 

 

Category : Break Up Recovery | Catherine Recommends | Blog
2
Jan

So Katy Perry is Single Again…

Did anyone think this was a great match?  Reminds me of one of Britney Spears earlier marriages.  Wild and crazy kids Screen shot 2012 01 02 at 10.00.52 AM 300x223 Breakup Shocker? I dont think so......playing house for a few months.  Do you think either is heart broken?  Do you wonder about the pre-nup?  Do you think Russell or Katy ended it first?

Breakups are hard, even the silliest of them.  The public outcry over Kim Kardashian and Chris Humphries disappears as another celebrity couple run to divorce court.  Do you think either marriage was legit?  Was it for publicity?

Are celebrities doomed to failure when it comes to love?

Still looking?  http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com

Category : Break Up Recovery | Blog
8
Dec

There’s a BREAKUP Month?

Believe it or not, there is. There are more breakups in December than any other month of bigstock Divorce Sad Woman Holding Gol 8091533 200x300 Breakup Month?  Are you kidding me?the year. Why? Who knows, maybe it is just that when people think of buying another gift for someone they don’t know as well as they thought they did, they choose to breakup instead.

Or maybe now that it is winter, there isn’t enough snuggling going on. Or maybe the cold weather enforced indoor time is shining a big fat light on the truth…no one is really happy and someone is tired of pretending.

For whatever reason, there are a lot of people looking forward to a lonely Christmas again this year. Are you one of them? If the Breakup Blues are drowning out the holiday music in your life, here are a few things you can do to rise above and get through the next few weeks gracefully.

1. Even though breakups are unavoidable, torturing yourself with dramatic over-reacting is not necessary. Trust a friend to be honest with you. Ask for a reality check. The fact is it was over. At some level you knew. Chances are your friends are dying to tell you to let go and move on.

2. Schedule a massage. Or at the very least, go to the area nail salon and get a pedicure while sitting in a full body massage chair. As you are being massaged, repeat this phrase to yourself: “Thank you, I love you, I’m sorry, Please forgive me.” Based on the Hawaiian healing tradition of ho’ono p’ono, these are the four things you LONG to hear from your former mate. Say them to yourself.

3. Find someone who needs you. Somewhere in your city is a charity you can support whole heartedly. Especially at times like this, it helps to find people who are struggling too. Even though your life sucks right now, the fact is, someone else has it worse. My husband and I love to volunteer at the cat shelter socializing the cats. Helping out with fund raising is another way to support animals.

4. Take a class. Motivate yourself or get a buddy to keep you honest and take a creative class through your area YMCA or Community College. Watercolor, ceramics, memoir writing…read through the catalogs and pick one. Any creative outlet will help you process the emotional energy spinning around inside you right now.

5. Burn Baby Burn. Get a pack of popsicle sticks from your area dollar store. Write out your feelings with a pen. One event per stick. Write until you have nothing more to say. Then, plan on a fire ceremony. Create a fire, in a safe place of course…I have a special pan just for burning, then burn the sticks.

Breakups are inevitable. There is no escape. When your breakup comes, don’t let it be any worse than it has to be. Take good care of you. Trust a friend to be real with you. Purpose to move on. You are worth it.

For more info: The Breakup Cleanse 28 Day Mind~Body Heartbreak Recovery System

Category : Break Up Recovery | Blog
28
Sep

My colleague and friend, Arielle Ford has a critical message for those of you trying to manifest a soul mate:

Have you ever noticed that the Law of Attraction works for you in some areas of your life but not all? People oftenScreen shot 2011 09 28 at 11.15.51 AM 244x300 Guest Blogger: Arielle Ford When Law of Attraction Fails ask me “If the Law of Attraction actually works, why doesn’t it work for all of us all of the time?” My sister Debbie Ford and I were talking about this recently and I just HAD to share her answer with you:

There’s only one answer to that question: It is what is in our unconscious mind that has the power — all the stuff that you wish wasn’t there, that you want to get rid of, that you’re still pissed off about or ashamed of, all the beliefs you’re still limited by.

Our unconscious is holding 80% of our power to magnetize our life experiences to us. So if our conscious mind has only 20% of the power, this is the time to get to work on uncovering, owning and embracing our unconscious by truly understanding and transforming what’s no longer wanted or needed.

One fruitful place to start this exploration is to look at what I call underlying commitments. These are commitments that exist at an unconscious level that, if not made conscious, will override any other desires we have.

Our underlying commitments drive our thoughts, our beliefs and — most importantly — our choices. They are the unseen forces that shape our realities. They are responsible for the discrepancy between what we say we want and what we’re actually experiencing.

These underlying commitments are formed by unconscious decisions we’ve made in the past. In the dark recesses of your unconscious, for example, you may have decided that you can’t trust anyone and that it’s easier to be alone. So even though you want love and intimacy in your life, you always choose the wrong mate because your first commitment is to being by yourself.

You become a magnet, but instead of attracting what you think you desire, you are a magnet for failure, for missed opportunities, for being less of a success than you strive for. You continually make choices that are in direct conflict with what you say you want and you find yourself baffled by the choices you are making. Sound familiar?

Underlying commitments keep us stuck in the same place year after year. When we carry the wounds, hurts or outdated beliefs that created these underlying commitments in the first place, we will unfortunately keep attracting the same circumstances over and over again so that we can be right about these early decisions lurking in our unconscious. Our underlying commitments become self-fulfilling prophecies. And our unconscious becomes the driver of our lives.

Transformational Action Step

 We must expose our underlying commitments before we have the power to shift them. By exposing these unconscious commitments, we gain the freedom to stand in the truth. Then we can begin the process of transformation.

1. Write down a goal or desire that you’ve been unable to attain.

2. Make a list of the actions you have taken or not taken in the past year that are in direct opposition to this goal.

3. Now take your list and imagine that these choices that have taken you away from your desired goal and not brought you any closer to it are an expression of a deeper commitment, your first commitment.

4. Close your eyes and ask yourself “What commitment are these choices in direct alignment with?” There you will discover your underlying commitment.

When you reveal the underlying commitments that prevent you from achieving your goals, you are beginning to turn your life around. You can now replace your old commitments with new, powerful commitments that are in alignment with your highest vision for the future.

5. Write down a new commitment you can make this week that will move you toward the future you desire.

Take some time this week to do these steps and begin to make progress on unraveling your underlying commitments. And, if you are interested in going even deeper with this type of process, Debbie is the originator of a magnificent, life-changing, life-enhancing workshop called The Shadow Process. Learn all about it here: Shadow Process

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Category : Break Up Recovery | Guest Bloggers | Law of Attraction | Manifestation Tips and Tools | Blog
28
Jul

Who is the last person who hurt your feelings?

Let yourself remember the worst part of it.

How much did it sting the moment it happened?  How strong on a scale of 1 to 10?

How strong is it right now?

That feeling, the pain and disappointment of being kissing 1 EFTCupid Tapping Club: The Secret Ingredient To Love Manifestingoverlooked, dismissed or disregarded is holding nearly every single I meet from manifesting love.  How about you?

You can make that feeling disappear and stop attracting the wrong people to your life.

I spoke to a Rapunzel yesterday who has had a tough few years.  Drastic drama and even a tragic death have hit her with a series of emotional tsunamis and now she is so guarded, I can feel it like a wall of ice from across the country.

She just broke up with her latest of 8 boyfriends and alienated from the women in her life, is really despairing and alone.  You Rapunzels know what I mean, right?

With times the way they are, this sensitive beauty is living with a difficult roommate out of necessity and that can drain the life out of Rapunzel.  Life has victimized her in every way and her income is as scarce as the quality men she seeks.

The hardest message for me to deliver is that no matter where she goes or who she is interacting with, she is the center of all of her dramas.  Until a lonely single can really turn inward and figure out why she is always misunderstood, she is doomed to failed romances.

“Do I attract bad boyfriends?” she asked.

No, as Arielle Ford, author of The Soulmate Secret reminds us, you can only allow in the love there is space for in your home, your lifestyle and your heart.  If a man doesn’t measure up, it just means that you aren’t ready for another deep love.

When you have been hurt once, twice, three times too many, you become tightly wound in a cocoon of self protection that no one can get through.  Do people tell you that you are unapproachable?

As if wrapped in layers of energetic saran wrap, the you that you were born to be is sealed so close to your heart, there is no space for new love to go.  That is the work to do in order to get the Law of Attraction to really work for you.

Holding hands by homarte 1 300x199 EFTCupid Tapping Club: The Secret Ingredient To Love ManifestingEFT helps to expand your heart, your true inner you, so that you are ready for love.  There is a man out there who will resonate and adore your true inner you.  The trouble is, there are many many layers of hurt feelings between the outside world and your heart.

Here is a your chance to experience the sheer magic of EFT in a weekly tapping club with me and see what kind of love tsunami we can create for you.

This special EFT Tapping Club is only $9.97 per month so if you have ever been curious about how EFT could help you find your way to love, here’s your chance:

Join EFTCupid Tapping Club

Think of someone who has hurt your feelings in the last couple of months.

Let yourself feel the sting that is still there.

On a scale of 1 to 10, if it is 7 or higher, that is significant.  Like energetic indigestion, when your feelings are hurt, it is a sign that it is time to make more space for love.  Now, think again, who in your past hurt you in the same way.  Is there a pattern of heart break for you?

EFT will take away the hurt feelings plus, each time you tap, your magnetism multiplies.  The more space you create for love on the inside, the softer and more approachable you will appear to people.

Remember, your soul mate is probably going to come to you through someone you know. You definitely want to be beaming with warmth and approachability whenever you are out and about, you never know when he is going to show up.

You have been meaning to try EFT, just follow this link to the  EFTCupid Tapping Club today and be part of the magic.

Membership Dues: Just $9.97 per month

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I understand that my monthly membership fee will be billed only $9.97 every 30-days and that I may cancel my subscription at anytime, for any reason, no questions asked.

pixel EFTCupid Tapping Club: The Secret Ingredient To Love Manifesting

Category : Break Up Recovery | EFT Cupid | Blog
30
Jun

I love this post from a man’s point of view originally printed in Marie Claire Magazine.  Great food for thought.  What kind of partner are we really?

I was flipping through a Women’s Health recently (I admit it), and I Screen shot 2011 06 30 at 6.34.48 PM 198x300 11 Reasons He Dumped You: Guest Blogger Rich Santosnoticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following reasons as the most common breakup reasons:

 

 

  • He changed.

  • We weren’t compatible.

  • He cheated on me.

When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported “no” with “because I said so.” I always wanted a reason. I’m not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you’ll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

I Got Bored

I’ve read many different hypotheses on attention span, but my favorite is from Wikipedia:

“Continuous attention span, or the amount of time a human can focus on an object without any lapse at all, is very brief and may be as short as 8 seconds. After this amount of time, it is likely that an individual’s eyes will shift focus, or that a stray thought will briefly enter consciousness.”

My attention span (unless it’s a football game or a song) may be worse. I know a relationship is not supposed to be exciting all the time, so getting through those flatline moments between the sparks is critical. If I start having more fun with other activities, the relationship is doomed

One of Us Was Too Serious

This could be as simple as she wanted to see me three times a week, and I only wanted to see her one time a week. If she’s flirting with other guys, flighty, or not as into it as I am, then I’m too serious for her.

Burnout

I’m a big believer in pacing and rhythm in dating. A relationship can suffer burnout if certain milestones occur too fast: being exclusive, giving special gifts, sex, meeting parents. When that happens, I get that feeling the colonists must have gotten after they won the Revolutionary War: “Okay, we did it…so now what?”

I Was Tempted to Cheat

I do my best not to cheat, so when I have recurring urges to cheat on my girlfriend, I figure it’s time to break up with her. I don’t need to go through with the cheating; the constant urge is enough for me to end things.

All My Friends Broke Up with Their Girlfriends

This is by far the most immature reason on this list. While my girlfriend and I are curled up on the couch watching The Devil Wears Prada, my newly single guy friends are out shredding the karaoke waves with Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin” and tearing up the town. That conflict gives me wanderlust. It’s much easier when we are all in for a quiet Saturday night with the significant others.

Divergent Lives

If someone moves to another town, or work is taking over, or other life changes are driving you apart, sometimes it’s best to end it.

Feeling Selfish

Dating is selfless because you’re giving your time and your self up to a relationship. “Me time” is necessary at some point to work on career/living situation, travel, or whatever. When I’m in a “selfish period,” it’s tough to participate in a relationship.

I “Misread” My Feelings

This is the most unfair of all the reasons. Both genders make this mistake: You get into a relationship and everything seems so great. Then, a few weeks later, you realize you got wrapped up in something for the wrong reason: dated for the sake of dating, or whatever, and you need to get out.

My Friends or Family Didn’t Like Her

I pay close attention to friend/family opinions because they know me best, and they’ve earned the right to have their say. Also, friends and family may be able to see things inside the relationship that I’m too blinded to see.

I Took Her for Granted

Great relationships should be easy, but there needs to be some tension too — especially in the beginning. If it’s too easy, there’s a lack of challenge. If I feel like I could have her heart any time any place, sometimes I’ll let her go. This almost always ends up coming back to haunt me later, though. I never learn.

She Was Too Negative

All too often, I end up with the brooding, depressed, uptight type who is constantly complaining. I don’t expect someone to be happy all the time, but if she makes me unhappy every time I see her, why stay with her?

What reasons have guys used to break up with you, and which make you most angry? What reasons have caused you to break up with guys? Which reasons do you think are most commonly cause breakups — do they differ for guys and women?

Follow me on Twitter: twitter.com/richravens

Follow Marie Claire on Twitter: twitter.com/marieclaire

Category : Break Up Recovery | Guest Bloggers | Blog
29
Jun

“My ex drove by me today and I almost threw up. I couldn’t believe how that wave of nausea hit me. It has been a whole year and I thought I was over him. I can’t believe it. Luckily I was near a Starbucks so I ran in to the bathroom, sat on the throne and composed myself. Will I ever get over him?”

Has this ever happened to you? I know it happened to me. I thought I was completely over some one. He had wrangled his way into my heart and even though he was absolutely the wrong kind of man, he was so devilishly charming and the seduction was delicious. When the inevitable breakup happened…he ran for the hills the minute I fell for him, I was heartbroken.

It took a long time to get over the shock of it. I tried everything. I images How To Eject Your Ex From Your Mind For Goodremember visualizing him in a big slingshot between two palm trees, pulling back and flinging him out into the universe.

The bugger would never stay out there. He came back night after night, day after day I obsessed over “what we had”…which was nothing more than a speck on the radar of life.

I wrestled with my ex in my inner world for months and eventually evicted him for good. Or so I thought. Two years after the breakup, I saw him in a bar. He didn’t see me, thankfully. My heart literally skipped a beat, my knees got weak and nausea hit me. Then I realized it wasn’t even him, it was only someone who looked like him. Man.

Breakups are hard to put behind you. When you let someone come very close and you let down your guard to create a connection it is a huge gamble. There are no guarantees when it comes to love and if you have loved and lost, you may be blaming yourself for picking the wrong person. The heartbreak is literally branded into parts of your brain and then sealed off so you can survive.

As bad as you feel right now, it could be worse. Your brain is working over time to cope with the constant flow of stress chemicals in your body.  Blocking some of the painful memories is part of the plan.  It is like some inner guardian parcels out the pain in small enough amounts to handle.

Part of the reason breakups are so bad is because they pull on the wounds from all the earlier betrayals you have experienced.

The emotional pain of any loss dissolves itself gradually for some people. Time passing, new loves, friendships and career changes restore confidence and self esteem.

For some though, the pain doesn’t dissolve. It stays buried until you see a reminder….then the flood of original feelings comes right back, as strong as ever.

If this is you, it is time that you take control of these past breakups once and for all. I know from personal experience that very painful memories from the past can be neutralized with the right tools. It is possible to get over your ex, once and for all.

Lastly, here is a little Love Magnet test for you, wonder how strong your love vibe is? Think back to a significant breakup in your past. Allow yourself to remember the worst day. Think about the worst moment in that day. On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful was it? Today, as you think about it, how strong is the echo of that pain?

If it is under 3, that means you are on your way to detaching from him bigstock Broken Heart 2373536 300x246 How To Eject Your Ex From Your Mind For Goodbut he still has energy in your emotions. If it is higher than that, you are definitely radiating fear of getting hurt again. That energy trumps your love vibe. If it is still red hot and flaming, your fear of being hurt in love is controlling your every move.

What if you could wash him right out of your mind? Wishful thinking?  No. The very best thing you can do is to detox your body and mind.  Because of Dr. Brit Brogaard’s research, you can now walk through your breakup healing with a step by step plan.

We just completed our 28 day breakup recovery journal with unique processes for ejecting that ex from your mind. Read all about it right here:  The Breakup Cleanse. Dr. Brit teaches Sex 101 and Sexual ethics classes at the University of Missouri-St. Louis.   She is amazing. You can read all about the scientific proof  behind breakup recovery right here: http://LovesickLove.com

Category : Break Up Recovery | Blog
23
Jun

Says Ashley Hebert, the current Bachelorette at the time of this writing. After

cac577243f65da02 ashley hebert1 230x300 I am terrified of making a mistake I will regret for the rest of my life.
from Buzzsugar.com

a contrived “breakup” with Bentley, he only came on the show to cause problems, she was shaken to the core by how she fell for someone not interested in her.

I wonder if she went through the inner gauntlet of self doubt the rest of you do wondering what she did wrong. Did she ask herself what she did or said that turned him off?

Did she rake herself over the coals for being too affectionate, too open, too vulnerable? I know the Bachelor is a made up show…but her feelings are easily felt by the audience and isn’t that the point?

What I do know for sure is this. If you are forming your goals for love when you are “terrified of making a mistake that you will regret for the rest of your life,” you are not likely to find the right man.  Fear is never the best ground to plant seeds of new relationship.

I also know that my feelings will be hurt by life. I know that as much as I adore my husband, he will do and say things that hurt my feelings…simply because it reminds me of a painful past experience.  Like a flashback, even an innocent gesture can flip the switch in my body and panic, doubt and fear still wash over me.

What is different between me and Ashley is that I have learned that when the fear and panic comes, I see the link to past hurts, I take the steps to heal those ancient stories and I can survive fear when it appears.

How about you, can you relate to our Bachelorette? Have you ever wanted to give up? Is your vision board yellowing? Is it heart breaking to watch another friend have a baby or get married?

I have a feeling no one knows how brave you are being each time you sign another wedding gift card. Seeing your single peer group shrink can be as frightening as Ashley’s experience.  During times when you are really down, when you are in an energetic slump, doing your LOA practice can feel like climbing the side of a sky scraper.

Secretly, don’t you want to say F**K the Law of Attraction some days?  You can ‘fess up, I won’t tell.

At the very time you need to pick a practice that will distract and/or entertain you enough to snap out of it, cynicism rushes in and your self talk gets mean and petty. What are you going to do?

Listen to this recording for a quick 3 Step Love Magnetizing Process that is ideal for reviving your hopes and getting you back on the road to your soul mate.

http://cat3733.audioacrobat.com/download/3StepMagnetizingProcess.mp3

I know the stink of disappointment. Ha…Now that is a great typo!! I wanted to write sting. LOL Disappointment DOES stink. I hate it. No, I can’t say that is true. What is true is that I hate how I feel when it happens. The slump in energy feels awful and the doubts that come along just to make things interesting, feel even worse.

So what to do? Find an Attraction Buddy. Trust one person to be your go to person. Tell her that you are out of sorts and need a partner to help you shake the gloomies. Tell her you need about 15 minutes.

This is not about you bitching about your lonely life or her giving you advice. This is about recognizing when you are losing your grip on the commitment to the Law of Attraction principles you decided on.

Your Attraction Buddy is aware of your desire for a mate and is willing to be there for you when you need her to. Tell her up front what it is all about. Then, when you are out of sorts, you call and tell her. She then has the simple job of asking you why. You think about it and answer what comes up.

She asks you, “Why does that trouble you?” You answer with whatever comes up. She simply repeats this question until you get some sort of aha.

These ahas are not understood with the intellect. You will have a thought that is so novel, it will be a tangible aha. Try it.

Meanwhile, don’t decide your future being afraid, listen in on the recording for another easy process to shift into Love!  And if you know Ashley, tweet this to her, will you?

Has a breakup left you feeling lost and alone?  Check out http://BreakupCandy.com for support.

Category : Break Up Recovery | Blog
5
Jun

Congratulations to one of my former clients, Kerry, who married her soul mate this weekend. {{{{{Hugs Kerry!}}}}}  When we started working together, she was near 38 and still aching to have children of her own.

Less than a year later, she found her man, someone not her type LOL, and not bigstock Bride And Groom Walking Into D 2689913 194x300 Another Wedding!  Was It A Text Message That Made It Possible?a dad…yet. She swears that if she can get rid of her love sabotage, anyone can!

I will be interviewing her soon, after her honeymoon and things get settled, she wants to come on a call and tell her story as well as answer your questions. Stay tuned!

Her success inspires me to dig even deeper to find new ways to help others find the confidence to get back out there and pursue love again.

Your biggest goal is to chase away the gloomies when they come. If you can keep your mind from falling into that pit of discouragement, you’ll start to see some real change. But how?

Keeping a hopeful, open and creative mindset is critical to you finding your soul mate. Once depressing thoughts surround you and drag you down, you’re in trouble, right?

Imagine being able to text me right then. Right when you are struggling. Wouldn’t be great to get my take on your situation?

bigstock Valentine Day Communicator 3498493 199x300 Another Wedding!  Was It A Text Message That Made It Possible?When my members are slipping into the Land of Despair, I’ve asked them to text me. The only condition? They can only text one word. One five letter word.

I respond using each letter of the word to create a unique, personalized on the spot Mini Magnetizing Message. This message serves as a 911 tapping script that gets results.

I really love you guys and I want for you to feel so loved, so full of self regard and attracting the best in people that you always bounce back from life’s inevitable heart breaks. The fact is, many of you are still hurting from an ex three exes ago.

Only you can take the steps to sweep out the cobwebs of the ghosts of boyfriends past. Once you know that you are resilient again and able to take care of yourself while you are with someone, you will be more optimistic and confident.

An irresistible combination, just in time for summer!

For the month of June, I am offering the text coaching option to all of my members, even at the newbie level that is currently just $9.97 per month. The opportunity is here. Are you ready?  Will you do what it takes to find love?

For membership info, click here: http://EFTCupid.com

 

Category : Break Up Recovery | EFT Cupid | Single and Searching | Blog
4
May

“I knew better.”

“I knew it was a meaningless friends with benefits deal for him.”

“I knew it wasn’t right for me.”

“But, after that glass of wine and a little cuddling, one thing led to another and….”

Jennie stopped talking. I could hear her crying softly.

“I have no control. I still care about him so much. But I feel awful today. I’m such a loser.”

Can you relate?

Jennie had a passionate relationship with a charismatic guy in college bigstock Divorce 75524081 200x300 I Just Had Ex Sex...Now What?that lasted into her early 30′s.

She naturally started planning her future with him. Why wouldn’t she? They started living together early on and everything looked good.

When he cheated the first time, she figured he was young and stupid. She blamed the other girl for coming on to her guy and she forgave him.

Ten years later when she found him with her best friend in THEIR bed, her whole world collapsed.

Divorce, custody, alimony, lawyers and devastating depression followed. No matter how awful the process was, she couldn’t fall out of love with him.

Secretly she agreed to meet him after the divorce for ‘Ex Sex’. It felt good…their sexual chemistry never paled. So what’s the harm? Or so she thought.

But now, two years after the divorce, he is happy with being friends with benefits and Jennie is a shadow of her former sparkling self. Turning off her intuition so she could keep some sort of connection with her ex has completely destroyed her self confidence.

How can Jennie stop giving in to her ex?

Here are the tips I offered Jennie, see if some apply to you:

1. NO MORE EX SEX….no matter what! If ex sex was really harmless, would you be feeling so bad? You are the only one who can say, “No More.” Once you make the decision you can make a plan.

2. Get a Breakup Buddy: One of your friends is waiting in the wings to support you. Having secret trysts with your ex is killing you. Let someone who really loves you help you.

You don’t have to tell her the whole story until you are ready. In fact, researchers from the University of Missouri at Columbia headed by Amanda Rose, Ph.D have found that “Excessive focus on problems probably makes them seem even bigger and harder to resolve.”

Your breakup buddy serves you by not letting you obsess and go on and on about your ex. Talk about ANYTHING else, but don’t keep retelling the story. In fact, you can post your breakup story right here is you need to vent: http://YouBrokeUpHow.com

3. Call Your Breakup Buddy When Your Ex Calls: When he calls again, you know he will, DON’T answer. Screen his calls. Call your breakup buddy and tell her you are obsessing again. Build a team strategy with her to see him for what he is.

4. Remember the Worst Part of What He Did: You are a nice girl and you like to see the best in people. Normally, a good trait, but now, when you are tempted to let him back into your bed, choose to remind yourself of his cheating past. Give yourself a reality check. You can say NO.

5. Start Making A List of How YOU Want to Be Treated by a Lover: This is easy, you start by writing all the things down that he has done to dishonor and mistreat you.

Then you write a second list with the exact opposite! Remember, Abraham Hicks teaches that we HAVE to experience the challenges so we can clarify what we really really want.

Here’s an example:

  • He cheated.

  • He didn’t like my friends.

  • He was bossy.

  • He didn’t look at me when we talked.

Here is the opposite desire that comes from the painful things he did:

My ideal man:

  • Is faithful and attentive.

  • Loves my friends.

  • Is not a micromanager and loves my independence.

  • Makes frequent and loving eye contact with me.

You can have this and much more once you break up for real.

Above all, remember that you are NOT a LOSER. You simply have love sabotage habits that need to be changed. You were with him for a long time. You guys had great sex. But….

When you feel this horrible after a friends with benefits encounter, it means your Inner Being is surely calling you to re-evaluate your connection to your ex.

Don’t go it alone. Find a Breakup Buddy to help you!

Wonder about your other love sabotage habits? Take the Love Sabotage Assessment and check it out today: http://EndLoveSabotage.com

pixel I Just Had Ex Sex...Now What?
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