This is the second in a series of articles based on Arielle Ford’s book, The Soulmate Secret. I am sharing the book with the members on my site and these articles come from the experiences of the class.
The Soulmate Secret Chapter 2: Readiness
“I won’t take that off my list.”
“I am sure I know what is right for me.”
“I want to be with an attractive man.”
“I don’t want to marry an old, fat, bald guy.” (Apologies to all the mature, teddy bear guys with sexy shiny heads out there.)
Ladies I have only one question for you.
Are you sure?
Are you absolutely sure you know what your guy needs to look like?
Whenever I remind my students that many newly coupled women say “He wasn’t my type,” some get annoyed with me. I don’t know how my adorable seeking soul mates hear “You’re going to have to settle and marry a toad” when they hear me say that, but they do.
Nothing pisses my seeking soul mates off faster than the idea that they can’t have a man who is attractive. But, have you ever thought, attractive to who? Is it important that other people, women in particular see him as attractive? Think about that for a minute.
Who is the judge of attractive enough? How do you decide? Isn’t it most important that YOU think he is hot?
Let’s face it, you decided what was hot and what was not a long time ago. Even in the early grades, some children simply have more charisma than others. Some people attract a lot of attention in every group.
When preteens experience this flow of attention to the popular kids, they begin to adjust themselves to either be in that circle or act like the ones who are.
This is natural and unconscious. What happens is that you get pulled this way and that and out of touch with your own true charisma.
When the teenage years come and there is sexual chemistry, money and mobility, relationships get very dramatic, both girl friends and boy friends. If your family is falling apart it is chaotic in all of your environments. No wonder people get gun shy, right?
Dr. Brit Brogaard in her ground breaking research reports that the reason the Bachelorette and Bachelor TV shows are so charged is because danger chemicals as well as sexual chemicals are released in the contrived risky romances on the show. Helicopter rides, bungee jumps and cliff climbing create a chemical cocktail that guarantees bonding.
“Take a date to the amusement park and go on the roller coaster together and you will create an instant connection” laughs Dr. Brit, “whether it is a lasting connection remains to be seen, but the power of the chemistry cannot be denied.”
The fact is that a part of you is way too obsessed with this appearance thing. Seriously, once you are together a few years, what he looks like is completely unimportant and you barely notice.
Don’t get me wrong. My husband is gorgeous. I was following him at the park yesterday and he looks fine from behind. Broad shoulders and a great butt. And we both enjoy each others appearance when we dress up for something. You might or might not find him attractive, but he is delicious to me.
In day to day life and certainly at night, appearance is highly over rated. The fact that you get upset when this topic comes up is ok. All it means is you are tracking down a limiting belief. You get annoyed at this topic because a part of you believes you can’t be happy unless you get your way when it comes to your man’s appearance.
Here’s where the two words come in. I bet you thought I forgot. The two words to add to any physical appearance affirmations are, drum roll please…. TO ME.
That’s it. Try these:
I want to be with a gorgeous man to me.
I want to be with a good looking man to me.
I want to be with a delicious man to me.
I want to be with a handsome man to me.
I want to be with the most attractive man I’ve ever been with.
I want to feel strong magnetism with my man.
I want to enjoy amazing sexual chemistry with my man.
These are powerful statements of belief. Girl, you are not, I repeat not going to have to marry a toad to have a happily ever after. I promise you. When you can release this grand daddy of limiting beliefs, you will radiate a light and peaceful vibe. When you see how people respond to you when you are unwound about this, you will be amazed.
When you start making affirmations that are coming out of a light, calm and heart centered energy, you will feel the difference. Relax and trust the natural unfolding of life. Allow yourself to suspend the doubt that you will be drawn to the perfect mate. Relax and trust the ease and flow that surrounds you.
What do you think? Is physical appearance a deal breaker for you? How’s it working for you? Leave a comment and let us know what you think about it.
Brought to you by The LOA in Love Club, the world’s only $10 per month all-inclusive Love Coaching Club. http://EFTCupid.com