Ok guys, it is your turn. Have you been feeling left out with all the Snow White and Rapunzel stuff? Well, thanks for being patient. I am happy to introduce you to your saboteurs.
Any man who is looking into self sabotage is one special man. If you are willing to look at yourself and how you can adjust your thinking about love, you can find a great partner. In many ways, you guys are like my ladies. You have been hurt by past love, stalked by women who couldn’t let go, dumped by the woman of your dreams and find yourself single in spite of all.
If you read my material, you know that self-sabotage is my specialty. The women I have talked to fall into three distinct saboteur styles, Rapunzel, Scarlett O’Hara and Snow White. There is also a Sleeping Beauty stage in each soul mate’s journey…the time when she is not aware of her magic or her power to attract true love.
Finally, you guys have your own saboteur styles. I have defined the male saboteur styles as Prince Charming, Knight in Shining Armor and Romeo. Plus, there is a Rip Van Winkle stage when men are asleep to their strength and magnetism when it comes to attracting the right women.
Let me summarize the three male True Love Saboteurs:
Kind and gentle, Prince Charmings love to nurture their women. They are socially aware and make people feel comfortable. Prince Charming knows the value of a surprise bouquet of flowers or a mystery date.
The problem with the Prince is that he is a sucker for a hard luck story. Irresistibly attracted to Damsels in Distress, he ends up with women I like to call a “hot mess.” Unconsciously driven to “save the day,” Prince Charming dates the women who are out of control in their lives. He ends up giving more than he gets. He will even pay her bills or rent.
He also struggles with confrontation and allows things to get way out of whack before he tries to speak up. Our Prince needs to recognize these damsels before he gets involved. He needs to know that he deserves a woman who is learning to be responsible for her own emotional well-being.
Knight in Shining Armor
Ah romance. Our Knight has strong expectations when it comes to love. He has been hurt deeply, often in his family of origin, and the scars are deep. He appears controlled and often is successful in business, but he lives in the rigid armor he wears to protect his heart.
Women can get close but not so close that he has to become vulnerable. He can act in a loving way but deep inside he is frightened and that feels unmanly. This sensitive man has a hell of a time getting close. The Knight needs to come out of his armor in order to find his true heart’s desire and this is a problem. More tender than our culture allows, Knights struggle to be strong and open at the same time.
Romeo is the swash buckler of the bunch. He is romantic and passionate and often has a trail of broken relationships behind him. He is misunderstood and can be seen as possessive, but he is just so passionate he can’t help himself. Once he falls, he falls deep.
Romeo is naturally charismatic and can trigger jealousy in his woman if he is not mindful. It is important that Romeo is fully engaged in his career and hobbies. He will be a better partner when he doesn’t need his woman to be everything to him.
As handsome as he is, there is a deep stream of insecurity he is trying desperately to hide. Romeo aches to adore a woman and yet he attracts emotionally unavailable or immature girls. Dealing with past disappointments will open his heart and allow him to relax into love.