Gina never makes it past the second date.
Megan brags that she abandons him before he can abandon her. Terri hasn't had even an insignificant
relationship in years.
What is going on?
Each of these women is beautiful, talented and powerful in certain parts of their lives. Even though professionally they are admired for their achievements and leadership, when it comes to the choices they make in pursuit of True Love, you'd never know it.
This is where the Frozen Heart comes in. When it comes to love, there is a part of your heart that refuses to be seen.
That hidden piece of your history is being guarded very well by your Inner Saboteur. Some where you hold a belief that Love is disappointing, exquisitely painful and ultimately not worth it. "Not me!" You might be thinking. "I am 100% sure I want to be married." Really…I don't think so…
How do I know?
Is there a ring on your finger?
Your Inner Saboteur has one purpose. She must keep your beliefs intact. Especially beliefs about your safety and well-being. With a part of your heart still frozen in time, believing that Love is painful, Your Saboteur believes she is protecting
you by keeping that pain out of your view. What does that have do to your Love life, or lack of?
The Inner Saboteur is running the show and you are the only one who can convince her to share the stage. She is a Master Time Vampire. She keeps you distracted and focused on mediocrity while time races right past you. Check it out. Exactly how long has it been since you have been head over heels in Love?
How do you know if your Inner Love Saboteur is activated?
Here are 5 signs to watch for:
No matter what your preferred style of sabotage, procrastination is always a major player. A vicious cycle of perfectionism, unproductive busy-ness and poor planning result in a kind of quick sand. You are pulled continually into a wasteland of excuses and inertia. There is often a lot of self criticism that appears here and nothing drains your vibe like that inner critic.
Similar to procrastination but this one is more entertaining. You know, you start one task in the kitchen and on your way to throw a load of laundry in, you notice the mail man is coming. He is really friendly so you pop out to say hi and get the mail. Then you remember you haven't checked your email. Then it is noon. You get the idea. It is said that Distraction is the number one obstacle in manifesting your dreams.
A sure sign that your Love Saboteur is up and around. Finding fault with other people, places and circumstances is one of her favorite activities. Gossiping about the missteps of others can be entertaining. Maybe you feel better after telling someone else's sad story. Go on a Complaint Fast. Choose to stop complaining for one week. Practice catching yourself and just stop. If you can't say it in front of the person, just choose not to say it. Practice Lovingness.
This is the most common sign of sabotage among the singles I talk to. 99% of them are completely undecided when it comes to what they want from a soul mate. Try it: "Do you want to be married?" Did you say some form of: "Not necessarily, I mean, you know, if it ends up like that, I don't mind, but I don't really need marriage." This constant fudging about what you really
want will ultimately put your manifesting into total stall zone.
5. Social Awkwardness or Anxiety
Many times, the part of the heart that is frozen is adolescent. It breaks my heart to hear the stories of heartbreak in 6th through 12th grade. Adult women, beautiful accomplished women, melt into little girls as they tell me the tale. If you get overly shy or withdraw in social situations or under stress, The Saboteur goes into overdrive to protect you. Just stepping outside and getting a breath of fresh air can be a life saver. Simply remind yourself of another role in your life that reflects one of your strengths. You can snap yourself out of it if you catch it early enough.
So what do you do?
First of all, don't freak out! Your Saboteur looks at herself as a super-hero. She believes she is saving the day. I have a picture of Cat Woman as my Facebook Avatar to remind me not to be too hard on that part of myself that indulges in sabotage.
Remember, Your Saboteur wants the same thing you do….to be loved and feel happy.
If you convince her that you want to take a risk on love again, you will have a powerful ally to help you manifest the Love of your Life.
How do I know this?
Think about it. This part of you, Your Inner Saboteur, is an amazing manifester. She has manifested singleness…overcoming all odds to make it happen. She is brilliant and not only is completely under-appreciated, she is blamed for the unhappiness that is resulting.
Food for thought, no?
What would be possible for you if self sabotage was a thing of the past?
Curious? Check out the upcoming Complimentary Teleseminar: How To Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed
Posted via email from catherine’s posterous