Archive for January, 2010

Are you 45 and single?

Have you ever thought that if Jennifer Aniston can’t find her soul mate, what hope do you have?

Are you frustrated by stagnant relationships on all sides?

Do you wonder if there is somebody out there for you at all?

I look at beautiful Jennifer who for all appearances has had some satisfying relationships with men over the years.  Some last longer than others, but she walks away from them with dignity and grace.  I have always admired that about her.  Years ago she appeared on Oprah and she and Oprah dressed in jammies as if they were having a sleep over.  She seems like a genuinely terrific person.

How can Jennifer not be with someone who is perfect for her? Personally, I can’t imagine the pressures of the hollywood lifestyle and I know nothing about her private life.  Not one for the tabloids I’m not really up to speed on the latest gossip either.

I just know that from speaking to hundreds of women now from all over the world, if you are single, there is a very good reason for it.  Some need to feel safe.  Some need to feel validated.  Some need to feel protected.  While these are fine things to want, there is one big problem.  This is a big key, don’t miss it.

No one can be 100% safe, validated or protected.  That’s right.  Life throws curve balls.  Unexpected things change in non-negotiable ways.  The only life guarantee we have is a simple one.  I guarantee you that you will find the wit and wisdom to get through every single challenge, every one.

Some women argue.  They claim to be ready for that soul mate to show up with all of their hearts.  Each tells a story of disappointment and regret.  I listen patiently and ask them what they dream of.  What is it they want in their deepest heart.  Many are too cynical to dream.  Most just need a wake up call to get back out there.

Jennifer has close friends and I hope that she is happy. I do wonder why she is still single.  I would love to ask her.  What about you?  What do you think?

Try this.  Stand in front of the mirror and say “I trust you completely” while looking into your own eyes.

You will learn something about yourself.

I have had some issues in the trust department.  Seems some of people I chose to open up to ended up being temporary people in my life. People who just passed through on their way to somewhere else.

My biggest hurts have come from the decisions I made to judge these abbreviated relationships as wrong.  They weren’t wrong as much as they were just different than what I expected and hoped for.

I have longed for closeness and connection for most of my life and yet I have also struggled to be open and vulnerable. I remember being shocked to learn that if I wanted a man who was open, vulnerable and emotionally available, there was one big obstacle I had to get around first. I needed to be willing to be open, vulnerable and emotionally available myself. Yikes.

My relationships are like a house of mirrors. Some of what I see still scares me and I feel I am careening like a ball in a pin ball machine.  I am also beginning to see humor in other relationships and I am laughing more at the sheer silliness of some of the daily drama.

To think….it is only reflections of me distorted by imperfections in the glass. I am seeing myself differently when I review my steps to see what got me here. I am attracting more and more of Larry’s gentlest and kindest self and it is delicious.

If you are one who answered no to my question and you don’t trust anyone yet.  And you know this is true even though you wish it wasn’t.  I have a bit of cheer leading for you. You will be amazed at how easy it can be to take baby steps in opening yourself up to the right person.

As you move forward using the principles of the Law of Attraction and tuning in with clarity and passion, you are going to attract the highest and best of the people who cross your path.

There will be a person who shows up to help  you practice your skills. You will know this person because of how wonderful you feel when you spend time together.  I know you have been hurt before when you trusted someone but you are different now.

You are stronger and you always land on your feet. Go ahead and move toward a friendship.  Take it slow and enjoy getting to know the other person.  Everyone has a story, take time to listen to this new person’s story.  Ask a lot of questions.

If everything feels smooth, lean in to the connection a little and test the waters. You will be surprised how easy it is to attract the highest and best in people.  Practicing kindness and curiosity is the quickest and easiest way to form mutually beneficial connections.

Building trust is the very best investment you can make.

“And before you know it, you’ll mostly be in appreciation. And that’s such a nice place to live.”  And So It Definitely Is!   Abraham Hicks

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

The 2010: The Destination of Your Dreams
by Debbie Ford

It’s so easy to make promises about the year ahead. You will follow your diet, be more financially responsible, be kinder to your spouse, spend more time at the gym…But, for most, the promises you make today will be empty dreams six months from now. So let’s examine this. I would suggest this happens because real change doesn’t occur when you just want something or wish for another reality. Real change happens when you feel genuinely inspired, turned on by possibility and unwilling to settle for anything less. It happens when you commit with all of yourself to a new way of life, to a new future. So how do you do this?

To feel inspired and lit up and to make room for optimism, enthusiasm, and lasting change, you must lighten your emotional load by addressing your past issues, your emotional blocks, your negative beliefs, your feelings of unworthiness and any infantile desires that drive you to repeatedly head off in a direction counter to your dreams. If you drop your commitments, it is not because you want to be seen as a quitter or a loser but because unconsciously you are more committed to an outdated self — an old identity that feels comfortable and safe even though it might have stopped serving you years ago. Often, psychological laziness will have you switch your life over to autopilot and fall asleep at the wheel rather than stay awake to what will fulfill your heart’s deepest desires and your soul’s purpose.

On this eve of a new year, a very fertile time to look over your past and commit to a new future, you can ask these simple questions to unload some old baggage and steer your life in the direction of a brilliant and thrilling future — the ride of your life.

1) What are your deepest desires for this new year?

2) What are you willing to give up to get them? What habits, limiting beliefs, unhealthy relationships or situations?

3) When did you become unwilling to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

4) What cravings or unmet needs will drive you away from your desired destination?

5) What structure of support will you need to ensure this new future?

6) Who could you count on to be your co-pilot to ensure that you will neither fall short of the runway nor overshoot your desired outcome? Who will help you stay awake?

If you wish to fly to new heights, begin by setting your sights on a destination you can reach and then create a flight plan, a map that will be your guide. And if at any time you don’t feel like following your flight path, stop, take a deep breath, call forth your vision for your future, then pick up your phone, dial your co-pilot and ask them to remind you that veering off your route really isn’t worth the pain of repeating the past. Veering off will only leave you in the same repetitive pattern of wanting, wishing, fantasizing, and then feeling intensely disappointed when you land at a destination other than the phenomenal future that awaits you.

So today, YOU have the power to choose the destination of your dreams, create a flight plan and stick to it. So gather your courage, your strength and your commitment and get onboard, making 2010 the most inspiring year of your life. Join Debbie for a free 21-Day Consciousness Cleanse program, a daily boost, on Oprah.com This amazing 21-Day course will help you clear out any old, negative patterns that may have been stopping you from manifesting the love of your life.

Check it out:  Consciousness Cleanse

When it feels like the next logical step – then it comes right in. So your work, as you stand in the absence of something wanted, is to pretend it, to imagine it, to become so familiar with the essence of what it would feel like when it comes, that even though it hasn't come, you still feel good. (You get this?) Even though my lover hasn't come yet, I'm excited about the idea of my lover coming. I'm anticipating. I feel excited about it. But if I'm depressed, if I'm discouraged, if "all the good ones are taken," then, it's not the next logical step.

- Abraham-Hicks –

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous