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Hey Guys,

Have an ex stalking you?

Why is it that a break up is only a break up for you?  Why won’t she just get it and stop texting you, calling you and showing up at your haunts?

There is an important step you can take that will cut off the relationship in a tangible way. Without this step, you just can’t finish the job and move on.  How do I know?

I was one of those very women.  After my marriage stumbled and crumbled, I met a fabulous man who seduced me with amazing skill.  I adored the attention.  He made me feel beautiful and sexy again.  The chemistry was red hot….the sidewalk could have melted under my feet.

We had 6 weeks of passionate and thrilling love making both in person and on the phone.  How much easier it would have been had he simply told me from the get go that he was looking for a sexual partner. Without that important piece of information, I read all kinds of meaning into his attention.  I began planning a future with him.  Big mistake.

He withdrew faster than a shooting star and disappeared.  Ouch.  Neither of us knew the power of the bonding hormones that trigger clinginess in women.  Guys, if you don’t want a woman clinging to you….wait before you invite her to bed.  We ladies become highly future focused after sex.  It is hard wired in us.

I watched my phone for text messages. I sent cute messages to try to attract the magic we had.  I was a pest and a pill. Ouch.  Now that I look back, seven years now, there is nothing left there.  I have moved on, even though it took monumental effort to disengage myself energetically and get him out of my mind.

Could he have helped me?  Yes, I think he could have.  Had he taken steps to cut the emotional and energetic ties between us.  I believe I would have lost interest sooner.

The moral of the story?  If you have an ex-girlfriend who is stalking you, you can do something about it.  Here are three practical steps:

1.  Write her a letter never to be sent. Tell her clearly and firmly that you are breaking the energetic ties between you.  As you write, allow yourself to imagine cutting the ties with her.  Send her good will and appreciation for the part of herself she trusted with you.  Once the letter is written, burn it.

2.  Visualize yourself and your ex separate and happy.
At night before sleep, visualize your ex in a city a thousand miles away from you.  See her with another man.  See her happy and fulfilled.  If this is hard for you, it is even more necessary.  Part of you may enjoy her attention and you need to deal with this.

3.  Spend time alone for awhile before starting a new relationship. What did you learn from this ex?  Did she seem to change over time?  Did you?  As you evaluate what happened, you may want to create a new game plan for moving on and into a new relationship.  Learn about women in general.  We don’t mean to be obtuse.  It may be hard to figure us out, but I promise you, it is worth it!

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

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