Archive for February, 2009

Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas..

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do

more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs with husbands razor.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and then laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower..

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

I KNOW YOU’RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!!!!!!

Author Unknown

I don’t know about you, but I am tired of hearing how bad things are on the news. Everywhere you turn there is some one parceling out another dose of doomsday thinking about the economy. Sheesh….it is hard for a romantic to keep her pink bubble in flight!

When I saw the book “Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men And Women Cope Differently with Stress” by John Gray, I snatched it up immediately. After leafing through and reading a couple of pages, I felt a wave of compassion hit me, went to find my husband and gave him a big hug, bless him!
Not one of us is easy when under stress, not even sunshiney me.

Here is a passage from the introduction:

“The more aware we are of our natural differences, the more tolerant we become when and if those differences show up. Instead of thinking, What’s wrong with my partner? you are able to ponder what is wrong with the way you are approaching her. Instead of concluding that your partner is purposely being inconsiderate, you can at least feel some comfort knowing that he is oblivious or clueless. Accepting our differences can immediately lighten up our relationships.”

This is what I know for sure: I want romance and love in my life and I am not going to let the economic melt down stop me. I love the concepts in this book. I am eager to learn how stress impacts men because I think it will help me understand my husband and be more patient with him.

I also need to handle my own stress with love and self compassion. Uncertainty is tough for me and my career is challenging me to stay balanced and preserve time for relaxation, playtime and romance. I have workaholic tendencies and love what I do and my old ways of “work a little harder and a little longer” are adding to my stress level. I know I have a lot to learn too.

What about you? Stress interfering with YOUR romantic life? Did you say. “What romantic life?” I get it! Here we are in a place where a warm hug and snuggling in front of the fire would be exactly what the doctor ordered and yet we are so stressed out, we look at each other like the enemy!!

Here is an invitation for you! Head over to your area bookstore and buy this book. I am going to be reading and commenting on it and would LOVE your company. Let’s be patient with one another and see if we can mine some relationship gold in the dark times we face!

Where there is a will, there is a way and I say MORE LOVE is what to focus on!! You two have made it through a lot of hairy stuff over the years, let’s move into a new level of togetherness in spite of our differences!!

Can you relate? How is stress impacting YOUR relationship?

What?

That can’t happen, can it?

Some of us think, “That will never happen to me.” Many of us are right, especially with it comes to faithfulness. I, for one. can’t imagine myself ever creating an emotional connection to a man other than my husband. I love knowing him and slowly but surely, letting him know me. We are married just over three years and it still feels amazingly new.

It isn’t in me to be unfaithful, I am sure.

But.

I also never considered that my career, my passion yes, you could say it is my life work, would start to be more of my focus than my husband. Me. So busy in a creative hurricane of thought and activity that I hadn’t noticed the connection between us was wearing thin. I was having so much fun with my business and with the tweeple and other online connections that I didn’t see what was happening.

He missed me and, bless him, my husband didn’t know how to approach me. He told me later that he didn’t want to hurt my feelings so he was holding back and not telling me what was going on with him.

Things were getting strained between us yet finally we were able to break through. We had words one night and both of us spoke our minds. Things were intense but we handled ourselves pretty gracefully all and all.

He left me with some things to think about. I love my work. I love helping women connect the dots and see hope in their relationships.  I love social media, Twitter and Facebook,  and the relationships I am finding across the world.

Plainly said, I love him more. I want to delegate more and let go of details I don’t need to be handling. You know why? Because I can’t delegate being a soul mate and I miss him. I want to spend more time with him. I want to be a soul mate.

I have reapportioned my time and my commitments. I am planning career goals with my husband and including him is bringing a new level of trust for me. I am working less and painting more. I am moving slower and spending more time outside.

My husband has been extra thoughtful as I have been gearing down. Plus I am thrilled to feel a new connection between us. It is that, more than a re-connection, it feels like a new connection. I just appreciate him more. I am moved by his commitment to be with me.

When I deliberately choose to think about those two things, my heart warms toward him. Abraham Hicks says “Think about what you DO like about a person and that is what you will see in the person.” It is nice to have time to think about my husband and have such warm feelings again.

So did I cheat?

What do you think?

Valentines Day can be painful if you and your partner have lost that loving feeling.  It can happen to all of us at one time or another.  Even the closest couple can simply be stressed out and not as attentive as they were in the beginning of their relationship.

If you are reading this and you long for romance that used to be there for you, you can change the tide today.

All you need is a piece of poster board and some red construction paper.  If you don’t have any poster board, the Sunday comic section makes a great substitute.  Post the sheet in your kitchen and start to fill it with notes.  On each heart write something you LIKE about your partner.

I know he may be acting like a spoiled brat!  I don’t care.  The fact is, when all you focus on is how badly he is acting, that is all you see!  There ARE some things that you still like about him.  Take action and write them down.  Invite him to do the same.  And, if you have kids, ask them to play the game also.

When everyone is busy thinking about the things they like about each other, you will bring LOVE back in to your home.  LOVE is bigger than romance.  LOVE is more important than who is right and who is wrong.

You maybe thinking…that is not fair, why do I have to be the one to act.  Hey, shape up!!  Why not you.  Take action to bring some loving thoughts into your family.  LOVE warms and changes things and every step toward LOVE pays off in a major way.

So, grab your markers, scissors and Elmer’s Glue and get started.  Be a savvy soul mate this Valentine’s Day.  You will be glad you did!

Would you like to use EFT to attract YOUR soul mate? Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! For only $47 you can listen in and tap along with me monthly in group coaching calls. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly answering questions and leading text tapping. Want to check it out?    SoulMateSuccessCircle

Moon lit dinner on the beach in Jamaica may not be on your radar this Valentines Day but don’t despair. Romance is not dependent on the economy and here are 10 winning ideas for you and your sweetheart this year.

1. One of my favorite Valentine’s day moments was when I sent my husband out to the market and while he was gone, I left rose petals from the front door to the bathroom where I had a bubble bath and a glass of champagne waiting for him.

2. Your local dollar store is a great holiday resource and you will find a great selection of house and table decorations to decorate your space.

3. Prepare a red meal…all food is red! Spaghetti, rare roast beef, cranberry sauce, cherry pie…use your imagination and your favorite cook book for inspiration.

4. L eave heart shaped notes in the places that your sweet heart will be sure to find them: in his shower, on the steering wheel of his car or in the morning newspaper. You can even find heart shaped post it notes at Staples.

5. Give your honey a special massage. Light candles, lay a heavy towel on the floor and put the massage oil in a bowl of warm water. Put on some relaxing music and knead the daily tension right out of him.

6. Take him to the imaginary beach by planning an indoor picnic. Fill a basket with cheese, bread and wine, lay a table cloth of the floor and bring out the backgammon board. Have a bottle of sun screen and a couple pair of sunglasses as props.

7. E mail him a list of the reasons you appreciate him.

8. Start a “What I Like About You Journal.” Keep it out in plain view and take turns adding to it. Try to write a couple of ideas every day.

9. Have a romantic dinner out….at home! Cook a favorite meal and then dress up as if you were eating out. Light the candles, put the music on and imagine you are in an exotic locale

10. Give him handmade coupons for personal favors you will give him when he presents them to you. Could be for anything from household chores he usually takes care of to snuggles and huggles. Use your imagination! Here is a link for some printable Valentine’s coupons: Printable Valentine’s Coupons

Above all remember, things may be tough right now and both of you may be under a lot of pressure, but you can still take time to connect to one another. It is more important now than ever to find simple ways to appreciate one another!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Would you like to use EFT to attract YOUR soul mate? Now is the perfect chance to experience the magic…for less than a dinner and a movie! For only $47 you can listen in and tap along with me monthly in group coaching calls. Members also have access to my text classroom where I hang out weekly answering questions and leading text tapping. Want to check it out?    SoulMateSuccessCircle

So your guy doesn’t tell you he loves you as much as you would like and you feel you can’t be happy without hearing those three little words more often.

I suggest a whole new approach in getting the love you want. Begin searching for the clues of your man’s devotion in his everyday behavior. You really do need to be a detective to do this.

Detectives collect evidence objectively and then analyze the clues for the answer. Objectively is the key word! Sometimes it is near impossible to stay objective when it comes to affairs of the heart, but you have read this far so I know I am talking to the right woman.

With tongue firmly in cheek, here are some clues that I have found in my own relationship, see if you can recognize similar things with your guy!

1. Micro-managing: What? I can just hear you say, “I hate being micro-managed”, I know, I do too! But, I have started to realize that he only micro-manages out of love. I used to be annoyed when I heard, “Don’t forget to lock the door.” Or ” It’s snowing out there and the roads are slippery, better drive slow!” Now I choose to see it differently. Translation: I love you!

2. Leaving his belongings around the house: Just think, he trusts that you won’t take, steal or destroy his stuff as it litters the house. Translation: I trust you.

3. His symphony of body noises: His ability to produce his noises no longer needs to be censored, what freedom. His freedom to be himself with you. Translation: I feel comfortable with you.

4. Sports on TV: Now you can run your errands, have coffee with a friend or go to the bookstore to read a current magazine. His attention to something other than you shows his trust that you will always be there for him. Translation: I adore you!

5. Weak Calendar Skills: Knowing you will remind him of important dates, he let’s go of the need to remember anniversaries and birthdays, especially the obscure ones like the first date. Translation: Every day is like a holiday with you, baby.

Ladies, your man loves you. He is becoming more and more comfortable with you and in his way, he is showing you love and acceptance.

While you may need to hear those three little words more often, if you continue to look for evidence of his regard for you in his comfort with you, it won’t be long before your acceptance of him will change the atmosphere in your home.

When you are feeling less stressed and insecure about the lack of love language from him, you will be able to ask for what you want. When you COACH your man into being a soul mate to you, he will be much more responsive than if you nag him into it.

Men are used to being coached. Coaching assumes mutual respect. Coaching also allows that the skill the coach is strengthening is already there, just undeveloped.

When he realizes that what you truly want is to FEEL more loved and that you are willing to learn more ways to get there than hearing those three little words, it won’t be long before he will actually be saying “I love you” because you have paved the way.

Your man loves you. With your Love Detective skills you will see more evidence every day and he will soften toward you as you accept him as he is.