Isn’t it interesting how well you get along with a new man? My husband and I still enjoy a wonderful rapport but in the beginning we saw each other in such a good light! Seriously, a huge chunk of the magic of beginning a relationship is that no one gets annoyed, isn’t it? What a delicious, soul-satisfying time that is. Too bad we don’t know how to appreciate it at the time!
When real life starts and you and your soul mate start to let your guard down a bit and express frustration, it CAN get a little scary. It seems like it would be nice to go back to the blindness of a hormone overdose, but ladies, I am hear to tell you, learning to let him evolve into the fabulous man he is, is the only way to go.
Once you get that being upset about something is about the most valuable thing that can happen to you, that is if you want to learn to tune into your man, you will never look at road rage or your man’s family or friends in the same way again!
I used to run like crazy from being upset. If I felt my man was upset with me, I would do everything I could to pretend that I wasn’t upset by the fact that he was upset. I always tried to keep one step ahead so he wouldn’t be upset. It’s exhausting for me to think back to that time. No wonder I was struggling.
I wish I would have known how easy it can be to process the past disappointments. Finding a calm frame of mind is not only possible, it is a skill you can learn yourself and is always immediately available. Whether you use guided meditations, meditation, prayer or even a talk with a good friend, you can learn to ease your emotional discomfort smoothly and steadily.
Decide today that you are going to practice paying attention to what you are thinking about. Louise Hay is famous for saying, “Stop terrifying yourself!” She is right. Any thought can be changed. I realized that I was spending all of my time thinking about how not to upset my man instead of thinking about the love and closeness I wanted with him.
When your thoughts are balanced and you choose what you think about, you are much more Teflon-like in your tendency to let other people’s stuff get to you. You take things more lightly and you are physically relaxed and comfortable.
Now when something or someone is bothering me, I am getting much better at stopping my scary thoughts and as I do, something amazing happens! Even one slightly more positive thought automatically attracts another and before you know it, I am distracted and not upset anymore. Sometimes simply thinking, “I want to feel better” is all I need to think.
If I feel my man is annoyed with something I have done and he withdraws emotionally from me, it is NOT comfortable at all. In my first marriage, I ran from facing my inner pain because I didn’t know any better. Bless my heart, I even blamed him a lot of the time because I was so miserable. Bless his heart, too.
Now that I have the incredible gift of a second chance to live out a relationship in a radically different way, I am soaring! When I get scared, I practice listening to my thoughts . Now I can acknowledge my uneasiness and then choose to think about my resilience and strength. I am learning to talk to myself the same way I would encourage my best friend…kindly and lovingly.
You owe it to yourself to learn the fine art of managing your thoughts. It is the sure way to create radiant self confidence and that is very attractive!