Since retiring from coaching and starting my new position as Grief Counselor at a pet cemetery (yes, you read right!) , I am surrounded by more love than I ever saw in the soul mate business.

There’s nothing like the love of a dog.

The devotion of the pet owners who take the time, effort and expense to see that their beloved pets are given a proper send off is heartwarming and, to tell you the truth, more than a little humbling.

You see, during all the years I coached singles and tried to communicate how to attract true love, I could never accomplish what I hoped for. Yes, there are a couple of marriages, a few children and a small share of happily ever afters out there, and I am happy for those folks.

 But the sad reality is that most of the beautiful people who read this column are still single, despite their efforts to find love.

A man with a dog is still a chick magnet.

What I see now in my daily work with grieving pet owners is a love so pure, so priceless and at the same time heart wrenching.  It  is teaching me what unconditional love is all about. Every single mourning pet parent nods in tearful agreement when I mention these facts about the love of a pet:

1. Pets are never disappointed in you.

2. Pets are always happy when you come home and show their excitement.

3. Pets never resent you for your mistakes.

4. Pets never talk smack about you.

5. Pets live completely in the moment and invite you to live there too.

6. Pets don’t break promises.

7. Pets never hold a grudge against you.

8. Pets are good for your health. Petting animals lowers your blood pressure and stimulates calming brain chemicals that bring peace and relaxation.

9. Pets “read your mind” by paying attention to your moods. Ever notice when you are sad that your pet picks up on it?

10. Pets are with you every single day. Your human family and friends don’t see you every day…no matter how stress free your relationships.

A truer friend cannot be found.

A friend of mine once kidded that her beloved horse, Jack, was probably her soul mate. She is a super youthful 50 something and never married was only half kidding. Can an animal be a soul mate?

What do you think? Please sound in with your comments!

Oh, BTW, I became ordained as a minister back in the day when one of my clients asked if I would officiate at her wedding (should that day come).

While I have yet to do a wedding, I am now conducting precious pet memorial services and funerals.  It is deeply soul satisfying to help these loving and grieving pet moms and dads say goodbye to their furry and feathery children. Life sure has some crazy twists and turns, right?

One of the parts of my job that I love is running The Hug Club at San Diego Pet Memorial Park. It is our open Pet Loss Recovery Group. We meet every Saturday. We also have a special facebook page for sharing hope, healing and recovery ideas.

Thanks to the internet, we are connecting to pet lovers all over the world. If you want to be part of the mission, the best thing you can do is to share the inspiring and amusing you tube videos posted there.

Here is the link and thanks in advance for paying it forward on behalf of all the millions of people out there who have lost their pet soul mates. http://Facebook.com/SDPetPark

One last note.  I adopted a dog myself this summer.  As luck or fate would have it, I brought her home three weeks before my mom died this summer.  Wise ones say that the right animal comes into your life at the right time.

True Love Times Three!

One amazing fringe benefit is the amazing people and pet owners I meet when I am out walking my Bella.  Will you meet your two legged soul mate if you have a dog?  I don’t know but you sure might and besides, then you will have a BFF to keep you company in the meantime!

I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

I know this will come as a real shock to you…..but….some men think they are always right!!

I don’t know what it is…but there is something deep in the hearts of many men that will not let them admit that they don’t know everything.

Now we sweet female types…..we do see right through it…..and that makes your man work even harder to be right!

One of my clients was trying to tell her husband that he said NO to her for every thing she asked. Of course, he said ‘No, he didn’t’! She decided to put it to a test…and here is how it went….

She: Do you want to see a movie?
He: No

She: Do you want to go for a walk?
He: No

She: Can we talk for a few minutes?
He: No

She: Could you help me carry this box?
He: No

Finally….in total frustration she said to him…..

Do you want to have sex?

He said NO before he even thought about what she said!!

Needless to say….she finally got his attention. This couple got a big laugh out of this and that broke the tension…..but they still had work to do.

So….what can you do if your man insists that he is right about everything?

There is an AMAZING AND POWERFUL TOOL THAT RARELY FAILS….it is so powerful, not everyone can handle it…..

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE? I hope so because it could just change your relationship forever! Are you ready……..

AGREE WITH HIM…….you read correctly…..AGREE WITH HIM…..WHENEVER YOU CAN.

You may be in a pattern where you argue about big things and little things with the same passion. This is the perfect time to try this technique. There are so many things you don’t really need to be “right” about.

Look in the mirror and practice saying…..”You’re right about that.” It doesn’t hurt that bad…..I promise!!!

Telling him he is right about something will surprise him and while he is getting over the shock…..you say what you have to say.

For example…..

He says….”Your friend Darcy is always calling you during dinner.”
You say….”You’re right about that but she needs a friend.”

He says…..”But we need you too and I want to eat together as a family.”
You say….”You’re right, I can tell her I will call her back after dinner.”

If you can stop disagreeing about the small things……it won’t be long before you will be talking calmly about important things.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says “When you have a choice to be right or to be kind….always choose to be kind.”

It takes a strong person to live up to this…..and one strong person is often enough to start building a better relationship.

 Wonder if you are ready for love? http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com right now….

I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

The little boy lifted up his eyes holding the broken egg in his hands.

Big tears pooled in his brown eyes, “Now it will never be a chicken” he whispered. Big gnarled fingers reached down and tenderly took the cracked and leaking egg from the sweaty little hand.

“Can you fix it grandpa?” He looked up hopefully to the kind old man.

“No, this one is not going to make it, son,” he said gravely. “I know what to do.” He took the child’s hand in his own and picking up a shovel, turned to walk out to the garden. “If we bury the egg in the garden, a miracle will happen.”

The little boys big brown eyes widened. A miracle?

“How does that work, grandpa?”

“Nothing is wasted, everything has value. Some people see the broken shell and they cry. The Wise Ones taught us that brokenness is precious. They taught that what we DO with the brokenness is what is important.”

“But if the egg is broken, the dream is gone.” said the child with his head bowed.

The old farmer dug a small hole next to a young maple sapling. “You see, if we place the egg into the ground, it will feed the tree and the life of the chicken will be part of the tree.”

“Life is in everything,” he said, as he tamped the dirt around the sapling. “Imagine how the tree feels to be cared for by us and the egg that didn’t become a chicken.”

“It feels good to be loved.” said the child.

The old man reached down and stroked the child’s hair. “Yes, he said, it feels good to be loved.” He hoisted the shovel over his shoulder and holding the child’s hand, walked back toward the house.

Why is it so hard to say good bye to those past relationships that hold us back from finding new love? Isn’t the memory of a past hurt like that broken egg? Why do we hold on to things that have no more value, no more beauty…no more life?

No, you say, that thing that happened was WAY worse than a broken egg. Was it?

Sure you had your feelings hurt. There may have been betrayal and heartbreak. You may have thought you had found your soul mate. I don’t mean to belittle your relationship dramas and traumas. I know they hurt. But it is what you DO with what’s left that makes the difference.

Where can you bury YOUR empty shells? Finding someone who needs your help is a great way to start. There is nothing like volunteering to help someone less fortunate than you to snap you back to reality.

Instead of telling your story over and over and over again, make a plan. Vent if you must….for twenty minutes….no more. Then write one more final version of the drama and burn it, flush it or tear it into tiny pieces. Move on and move up to better feeling thoughts.

Was the child foolish to weep for the chicken that never would be? Aren’t you doing the same thing weeping for a relationship that just wasn’t meant to last? Be grateful that you were spared.

Appreciate that you split up, learn from the experience and move on. You deserve to be happy and it will happen as you CHOOSE to think thoughts that make you feel good. It really will.

Still searching for a soul mate?  Take The Soul Mate Quiz right away!

I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

Is that normal?  Can you be hot for a guy with no nookie in sight?

When Genevieve, a Rapunzel, was younger, she had a long string of intimate relationships. She didn’t see it as love sabotage. Sex was a natural part of her dating life. It started when she was 15. Sex became no big deal. Now at 43 and struggling to define love differently, she isn’t sure what is normal.

“I think I am really in love. He makes me feel amazing. Every time we are together, I want to be with him more and more. We laugh and laugh together. We sleep in the same bed with our clothes on. But I don’t WANT to have sex with him. Isn’t that weird????”

She was talking really fast and I could feel her excitement. “Last night we had a long talk about sex, about what we like and don’t like, fantasies and stuff like that. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex.”

“I burst out laughing and said no, I’m not ready and I wasn’t afraid to tell him.”

Then she collapsed in a fit of giggling. “ME!!” She howled, “Me turning down sex!!”

“Are you attracted to him?” I asked.

“That’s the crazy thing,” she said, “He is so handsome! I can’t stop thinking about him and I want to be with him all the time.”

Genevieve’s delight is so tangible, I replay her story over and over in my mind. In a way, when you befriend your saboteur, it is as if your sweet fourteen year old self, the one that was so terribly hurt and disappointed in love all those years ago, is being given a second chance.

I remember Ruby, a Chinese Rapunzel with limited English skills. Coaching her was a challenge as I broke down the steps of breakup recovery into words she could understand. Ruby had met a man on Match.com and after 4 months of happiness, found out he was married.

She knew he lived in a different state. She accepted that he was only in her town for business every couple of weeks. She also was completely blindsided when she found out he was married. As she told me her story, here is a key point:

“In my country, you fall in love first and then you have sex. In your country, you have sex first and then fall in love. I don’t understand.”

No, I said to Ruby, you have it right! You SHOULD be in love before you have sex. Your people have it right. Not because it is morally right or wrong, that is not what this is about. The reason to love first is about hearing from your inner senses, feeling your way along so you know exactly who to sleep with when you do.

Genevieve had slept with so many men, her inner guidance was disconnected. In true Rapunzel fashion, she careened from relationship to relationship having great sex but never connecting with the men in a meaningful way.

Now, with this new man, everything is different. He thrills her. She loves him and she is in no hurry to have sex. Is it normal? Yep, it is for Genevieve. As I ask her every time we speak, how does this feel to you? On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you when you are with him? How happy are you just thinking about him?

As long as you feel your way through opening up to a man and keep yourself feeling high on your scale of happiness, you cannot go wrong. I promise.

What you can’t possibly know when you are a young, is how impossibly delicious the time is before you have sex with someone you adore. It is a time that cannot be restored.  Making it last as long as possible is your goal!

So what do you do? Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!! I have been married for 5 years now and I still go back to that time to refuel my appreciation for my Larry. I was living about 45 minutes away from him and we were falling in love quickly. I remember watching out the window for his car. I remember seeing it turn down the street.

My heart started to pound. I was so excited he was coming. I made myself wait for a few moments before I answered the door bell even though I wanted to run out and meet him in the parking lot.

He smelled really good and l remember how the fabric of his yellow turtle neck felt under my fingers. We were laying on the couch together looking into each others eyes. The edge between risk of falling in love again and the undeniable physical chemistry drove our enchantment with one another.

I am so happy we had that time. Just like Genevieve and Ruby, I lost a lot of innocence when I was young. Love was twisted and painful in the players on the stage of my life. Blah, blah, blah…who of us doesn’t have drama in the past.

Now, when I see the parts of my husband that are cross and anxious and I dodge for cover, I don’t freak out anymore. I go back to that day in early autumn of 2004 and imagine myself running my hand up Larry’s chest, feeling the softness of his beautiful yellow turtleneck and every single time, I get a flood of the same feelings I had on that day and I love him like that all over again.

So, darling Genevieve, you are learning a new normal for yourself, and you are doing just fine! You are open and curious about your man and all of the loving feelings you are feeling for him are like bread crumbs leading you home.

Love Sabotage will not betray you.  If after 4 months, you are not feeling it for him, you will know clearly and you will be able to move on.

What you can count on is this. If this man is not your forever man, he is SO close that when the right one does find you, it will be even better. I promise.

Need more Soul Mate Attraction Tools?  Browse in the Soul Mate Attraction Store for help.

Do you ever ask yourself, “Why am I still single?”  You’re not alone. This is one of the questions we hear most often from people in our community.

If you’re like most spiritual people, you want to find a true soulmate – a best friend, a loving partner and companion on your journey of spiritual growth and self-development.

You want to find a deep and genuine connection, and you want to find it sooner rather than later. You don’t want just any relationship. You want to find “The One.”

Now that I am no longer doing any one on one coaching, I am thrilled to tell you about your chance to discover a powerful, proven process to help you “call in” your true soulmate and create a committed, loving partnership.

It’s a free online seminar called Calling in “The One”: How to Release Your Hidden Barriers to Love and Become Magnetic to Your Soulmate. And it’s hosted by two extraordinary women: bestselling author Katherine Woodward Thomas and acclaimed women’s transformation expert Claire Zammit.

>>> Click here to register for the Calling in “The One” Online Seminar http://tinyurl.com/9gp5d9c

At the age of 41, Katherine created a process to “call in” a new conscious, committed loving relationship in just 7 weeks. By the age of 42, she was married, and gave birth to her daughter, Alexandria, the following year.

Pretty soon, word of her miraculous process began to spread around the country, and before long, she was receiving hundreds of requests to write down her process so that others could use it as well. Random House  gave her a book deal and she quickly became a national bestselling author.

Katherine then went on to partner with Claire, an acclaimed expert in women’s transformation (who also used the process to “call in” her husband!).

With Katherine’s proven approach and Claire’s transformation expertise, they’ve further refined this powerful process to call in “The One”.

Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, Neale Donald Walsch and Debbie Ford are just a few of the luminaries who RAVE about the Calling in “The One” approach.  http://tinyurl.com/9gp5d9c

The reason the Calling in “The One” process is so effective is because it starts in a place that just about no other approach to finding love does – on the inside.

You see, what most of us don’t realize is that the real obstacles to genuine soulmate love are within us. If you’re still single, then there’s a good chance you have unconscious barriers to love. The good news is that once these barriers are identified, they can be easily transformed.

It’s this process of personal and spiritual transformation that is critical to be able to create the true conscious, committed relationship that we’re seeking.

>>> Go here to learn about the proven process of Calling in “The One” http://tinyurl.com/9gp5d9c

If you yearn for true, lasting love with a soulmate you don’t need to change anything about you or your life externally.

You simply need to release those hidden barriers within you that you may not even realize you have.

Instead of spending another year hoping for love that doesn’t show up, you can call in “The One” within weeks or months. All you have to do is identify and release the obstacles to love that have been hidden within you.

Already, thousands of people who’ve gone through the Calling in “The One” process are experiencing a love they never thought they would have.  Here’s what one Calling in “The One” graduate shares about her experience:

“After so many disappointments, I had all but given up on the possibility of ever having love in my life. Luckily, my best friend turned me on to the Calling in “The One” approach. I followed every step of the process faithfully and met my soulmate a short time later. It’s truly a match made in heaven. I couldn’t be happier!”
~ Jeanne Millbrae, Illinois

So, if you’re a conscious person committed to attracting and sustaining a powerful, loving and spiritual partnership, join Katherine and Claire for their complimentary live online seminar.

>>> Click here to register for Calling in “The One”: How to Release Your Hidden Barriers To Love and Become Magnetic to Your Soulmate http://tinyurl.com/9gp5d9c

And don’t worry if you can’t make it live to the event, they’ll send you the recording, so you can listen at your convenience.

Let’s face it, the average dating service will not understand the spiritual match you need. And friends who play Cupid may not get it right either. But Katherine and Claire are transformation experts who know how to help you make the internal shifts necessary for you to start becoming magnetic to “The One” you’ve dreamed of. So don’t miss out on this turning point in your life.  http://tinyurl.com/9gp5d9c

I have noticed that “The List” is a controversial issue among my students.  Some believe in the power of the list and swear by it and others have written so many lists and tossed them out that they are fed up with the idea.

I had a list when I started to date after my divorce and yes, Larry has many of the aspects I put on my list. It tickled me that his golf handicap is under 10 (3) and that he enjoys drinking coffee in book stores and coffee shops.  Those little details were like Hershey’s Kisses from the Universe.

Also on my list was kindness, generosity, humor and affectionate. Yes, yes and yes.  Other list details were not true of Lar and you know what, I don’t care.  What was true for me was that I wasn’t striving to find a soul mate when I wrote the list.  I wanted to meet a man who was different than my ex but I wasn’t looking for a partner when I wrote it.

In the Soul Mate Secret, Arielle Ford’s chapter on writing THE LIST is very practical and I highly recommend you re-read it. In fact, I am using that very chapter to set up an virtual Blue Moon Soul Mate Manifesting Ceremony for tonight.

The Blue Moon is on Friday August 31, but you can tune into the energy on the day after. Actually, Arielle reminds us that Friday is dedicated to the Planet Venus which represents the energy of Love.  Doing the ceremony on Friday will ramp up your love vibe .

Here is how to be part of the ceremony and remember, there is huge power in numbers. The more of you who participate in the ceremony the stronger the impact for all!

1.  Read this list of attributes and choose the ones that are really important to you.  These traits and attributes are from Arielle’s book:

Abundant
Nurturing
Playful
Sensual
Sexual
Smart
Spiritually Open (or name your
religion or belief system)
Successful
Supportive
Talented
Intelligent
Honest
Loving
Emotionally Healthy
Physically Healthy
Self Secure
Giving
Attractive
Sweet
Physical Chemistry
Sense of Humor
Great communicator
Easy Going
Appreciative
Flexible
Adorable
Creative
Affectionate
Considerate
Articulate
Emotionally Available
Beautiful
Endearing
Bubbly
Enjoys _____(your dogs,
eats, travel, etc.)
Caring
Family Oriented
Funny
Generous
Happy
Healthy
Independent
Loves to______
Loving

2.  Choose a beautiful piece of stationary and write out your list in an affirmative form like Arielle’s example on Page 107:

I, Leslie Ann Leeds*, give thanks to God, Goddess or All That Is for my beloved soulmate. I am grateful he is single, straight, and available for a healthy, loving, committed, life-long relationship.  He lives within 50 miles of San Diego, California or is willing to move here.  He is an intelligent, loving and honest man who is emotionally and physically healthy.  He is and extremely kind, sweet, fun, secure, attractive man with whom I have great sexual chemistry.

He is successful, abundant, giving and easy going and practices gratitude on a daily basis.  He is a great communicator and we have a happy and comfortable life together.  As I savor the waiting for his impending arrival, I relax in the peace and comfort that we will soon be together.  And so it is.

3.  Prepare to burn your list and offer your heartfelt desires to the Universe’s timing and delivery. Use a metal bowl and be safe.  Watch as your list burns and see it as supernatural GPS.  You are registering your desire into the heavenlies and making a way for your man to find you.

4.  Release your ashes into a body of water or bury them in your garden to complete the ceremony.  At this point, thank the Universe for all of the other soul mate manifesters that are doing the same thing for this full moon.  Be thrilled for all of us as we become more magnetic to love!

5. Start a list of the gifts and other pieces of evidence that will be coming your way.  People will offer to buy meals for you, you will receive coupons in the mail, or you may find money in a forgotten pocket.  The Universe is always giving…are you noticing?

Arielle swears by the list and the treasure map. She recently celebrated her 13th anniversary and she was a first time bride at 44.  Following her steps has resulted in hundreds of marriages.  Join us this weekend as we use the powerful energy of the full moon to release your dreams for love into the abundance of the Universe.

Curious about Soul Mate Manifesting?  Check out The Soul Mate Secret Attraction Self Directed Manifestation Course right here:  Soul Mate Secret and LOA 

I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

“Is there a break up in your past that was hard to get over?”

“No, I’m fine. I make it a point to never have regrets and I just put them behind me.” said the beautiful still-single-at-40 attorney sharply.  I could tell she was a little annoyed.

“I see.” I said. “How many breakups are behind you?”

“Six, but what does that have to do with my Love Magnet.”

“Let me show you,” I said to her gently. (Want to peek over my shoulder and listen in?)

Here is how to check your own Love Magnet:

1. How many significant breakups have you had in the past.

2. Pick one of them for your love magnetizing check.

3. Now think of one particular day when the breakup was happening. How intense was it at the time on a scale of 1-10.

4. How long ago was it? Are there any hurt feelings left on that day? Is there an echo of pain? How strong is it on a scale of 1-10?

5.  Do you feel a stab of rejection and disappointment thinking about a former lover? It is a sure sign that your heart is still engaged with him on an energetic level.

That explains why you keep attracting men who are partly interesting but mostly really disappointing. That ache in your heart from past disappointment is attracting people who continue to disappoint you.

The ache in your heart from that ex all those ex’s ago is broadcasting a strong signal and the men you are interested in are picking up on that signal.

Until you clear the airwaves, so to speak, and cut off your connection to him, the power of your love magnet is muffled.  Your ex may be years in your past, but his energy is still as alive in your memories as the day of the breakup.

If this sounds like you, don’t panic. Take a breath and realize that awareness is the first part of change.  Decide today to look at your self sabotage patterns differently.  Once you know your patterns, you can make new ones.  It is your decision to change your mindset that makes all the difference!

Wonder if you are ready for love?  Click here for a private Crystal Love Magnet Reading and find out right now!