How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?

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bigstock Broken Heart 17913836 300x262 How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?One year ago today, I walked away from the wrong man and never looked back.
I am making it on my own and having a very good time being single.  It is no fun being with the wrong person.  I have been second and third guessing myself.  What did I miss?  How did I not see?  Loved ones tell me, don’t be so hard on yourself.
I know, but still.  At the end of the day, I picked a dick. I thought he was the right man, it felt right.  What went wrong?
I know now that my inner magnetism (my self worth and self esteem) were vibing way to low and I attracted someone with only a fraction of what I needed in a partner.
As happy as I am single, I know that you may very well not be.  I respect you for that and I honor your desire to be with a guy.  If you have strong longings to be in a couple, I support you 100%.  I may be one day, though at the moment, I can’t imagine it.  *wry smile*
I am celebrating new beginnings to night and I would love to share my hard earned wisdom with you in the form of a Love Magnet Reading.  You spend 15 minutes with me and I will tell you how strong your inner Love Magnet is.  There is no cost for this reading.  I want to help as many people as I can to check in with their current love vibe.
You may be surprised to know that just because your MIND is telling you that you are ready to be in a couple right now, that doesn’t mean your love magnet is strong enough to bring in that quality of man.
Want to try?  Just click this link and you will go directly to my calendar.  Look for Love Magnet Reading.  First come, first served.  Spots will disappear fast.  http://catherineb.appointy.com/
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Only 122 Days til Christmas – Want Someone Special For The Holidays?

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My roomie and I volunteering at a singles event.

Some women are ready for love, some are not.  Some look forward to traveling during the holdidays, some crave a man’s company so urgently that the holidays make them tense and afraid.

Me? I am celebrating today.  Last year at this time, I was planning a secret move.

 My ex did not know that on that fateful upcoming Wednesday when he left for golf it was the last time he would see me at home.  I hired two young guys to come and move my stuff out and left.  I was very scared that day.  Afraid that he would come home and make the whole thing more difficult than it already was.

It has been a tough year and a great year.  I moved three times in the first 6 months before I found my current fabulous arrangements.  I got rid of boxes of stuff that I didn’t have room for or need.  I had no residual heart break toward my ex.  Truth is, I had planning to get out since 2010.  It just took time to get my ducks in a row and be able to support myself on my own.  My parents also both passed away in the last 4 years.

Today I am an honest to goodness happy single lady.  I am divorced 4 months now and feel more comfortable writing about myself and my experiences being a happy divorcee and how I am navigating the world of dating online and off.  I do celebrate YOU because you are still here, reading my words and cheering me on.  Now that I am single with you, I really want to write heart to heart.

My roommates and I are all single and have very different agendas when it comes to dating and what we want from the next guy to come along.

I know that I am not ready for a committed relationship.  I am SO happy being free with no one to micro-manage me or dictate my choices that I can’t imagine meeting a man who I would give that precious freedom up for.  Ladies, you don’t want to be with the wrong man, that is for damn sure!

Maybe like you, my roommates are both ready for love and crave to be with someone special this Christmas.  Tired of the rat race of singleness, they want marriage and commitment.  We make an interesting household.  I know my Snow White nature confounds and intrigues my Rapunzel housemate and yet we are doing well in spite of differences.  I am very introverted and snuggle into my room like a nest after work to recharge.  She is a super outgoing California native who craves company when she has off time.

It has been good for us to talk about these things and work it out.  It saves all of us significant money to live together and we are all keenly aware of that.  It is a great blessing for me to live in a beautiful, secure and stable home.  The fact that there is a pool and two other dogs for mine to play with are sweet extras.

Meanwhile, it is fun to share singleness and dating online and off.  My roomie has been on over 20 dates first dates in the last year. (She deserves a medal!)   She uses Plenty of Fish and OKCupid.  I have also been on the online sites and we both have stories to tell!  The fact is you have to have a sense of humor and a lot of stamina to go through the mill of online dating.  I’ll be sharing our experiences here so stay tuned.

How about you?  

  1. Do you wonder if you are ready for love?  
  2. Are you worried that your fears about being cheated on are ruining your chances for love?  
  3. Do you keep meeting the wrong kinds of men?
  4. Do you hate dating?  
  5. Do you wish more than anything that you could spend Christmas with someone special this year?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, let’s get you some answers.  I am so humbly grateful to the supporters I had along the way who helped me believe in myself when my self concept was at an all time low just a few short years ago.  If you think that there is something inside that is blocking you from finding the right person, make today the day you find out what is going on.

I have knocked down the prices on all my readings to make it possible for you to get a true read for where you are right now when it comes to radiating the “I am available and ready for love” vibe that your next partner is searching for.

Let me repeat that.  There is someone out there looking for who you are.  The you that is underneath all the heartbreak and drama.  I have been to many singles dances and meet men all the time that are looking for the right woman.  If you get very focused, you can build a confident vibe that says, “Bring it on, I am ready for love.”

Here’s a test.  Stand in front of the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye and say, “I am 100% emotionally available for a partner right now. A man could move into my bedroom tomorrow.”  If you can say that and mean it.  Good for you.  But, if the words stick in your throat, click this link and schedule yourself into my calendar.  Let’s get you a date for New Years Eve:  Talk To Catherine

 

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Shake Up That Breakup: 3 Steps for Moving On

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Last week I was doing a reading for Lola (not her real name.)

She swore to me that she was ready for true love and that she was frustrated to tears at the lack of decent men to choose from. “All the great men are either married, gay or both. I am tired of looking.”

“How long since your last significant relationship.” I asked.

“It has been 9 months and I am better off without him,” she returned stirring her mocha latte. “And I still miss him and think about him all the time and I hate this but if he came back to me, I would give him another chance.”

I waited.

“What do you really want? I asked her softly.

She took a deep breath and looked off into the distance. “You know, I’m not sure. Part of me wants him so much.”

“And..” I encouraged.

“And I know he is living with that other girl and he is moving on.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“What do you really want?” I repeated softly, handing her a kleenex.

Several minutes went by as I let her think about this very important question.

“I guess I don’t know.” Lola said at last.

“Good for you!” I exclaimed. “Now we are getting somewhere.”

Lola is like many of the brokenhearted breakup victims who contact me every week. I wonder if you can relate. As much as she hungers for true love, a part of her is stuck in the past….hung up on an ex.

When I read for people, I give them a snapshot of their love readiness. And what is that? When someone is truly ready for love, she exudes a confidence and availability that is tangible. If you are not ready for love (in spite of what you say and think) then you radiate fear, disappointment and pain.

Believe me…you DO NOT want to be with a man who is attracted to the invisible but very real fear and disappointment you may not even know you are radiating.

A reading is the fastest way to discover where you are on the readiness scale but if you don’t have time for that right now, here are three steps you can take to start to clear the fear of disappointment from your energy field:

1. First write all the things that disappointed you in your last relationship. Take two or three days to do this. Be real with yourself. How did that partner let you down? What did you long for when you were with him?

2. Next start a new list taking each item from above and creating an opposite. For example:

He was always late turns into He is always on time.

He didn’t kiss me unless I kissed him first turns into He loves to kiss me and takes his time to kiss me right.

He didn’t like to go hiking turns into He likes to hike and do outdoor activities with me.

He forgot my birthday turns into He remembers special occasions and treats me sweetly and gives me gifts.

3. Making this new list is a powerful way to change the vibration around your desires when it comes to a partner. You are taking responsibility for what you want. Building your wants and desires from the very disappointments of the past will arm you with positivity and fear of disappointment will fade.

I know it is hard being single again and you didn’t want this. One day I promise you you will look back and be grateful that he left and you moved on to a better match. Spend time working on what you really, really want and it will pay off for you. And if you decide you want a reading…shoot me a message: 

 

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Want to Give Your Ex a 2nd Chance? 5 Things You Must Know

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Have you ever broken up, reunited and then broken if off a second and maybe more painful time later? Why do we keep going back?

I’ve watched people go through their partnerships in a never ending spiral of complication. Pain, drama then more pain and drama. Each woman breaks up differently.If you can’t get over a breakup. If you can’t move on no matter how hard you try…you have to take a good hard look at this guy. (Forgive me guys, nothing personal, it’s just that more women read my blog)

If there is one chance in a 100 that it isn’t truly over, heck if there is one chance in a thousand, it is still worth another look. No one can crawl into your mind and see what you see when you think of him.

Your friends may have heard you describe his flaws and screw ups(he is a man after all) and they don’t understand why you want him back. That’s understandable. But if you have warm memories of times together and you see yourself with him, then maybe there is a chance that others cannot see.

What I know for sure is that taking action, is a self loving gesture. If you sit and suffer in loneliness and loss you are not ever going to break out and move on.

If you have thought it through long and hard and still want him back, then I say go for it. Make an action plan and win him back if you can. Especially in the first 3 to 6 months. Bring your best friend into it with you for moral support and take action.

Here are 5 things that you MUST remember though if you want your ex back.

1. You must remember that you want to know the truth. Is being with each other in one another’s highest good? You may believe that with all your heart but if he isn’t into you like that, you have to be ready to face the truth.

2. You must remember that this is not about manipulating something or someone. You are giving your ex the opportunity to see you in a different light and to revisit the possibilities if he wants to. (See number 1)

3. You must remember that if he does reconnect with you, keep doing what worked to fascinate him again. If you captured his attention and he is talking to you again, it is time to explore what you have in common and nurture that.

4. You must be ready to say goodbye…for real. Some exes are better off being exes and darlin’ if he is not that into you, it is the very best thing for you to let him go. You are a catch, girl, and there is a man out there with your name ringing in his heart.

5. You must remember that you are a powerful woman. You have been through a lot of drama and trauma and you have survived it all. I do hope that your ex wants to try again, but only if he treats you like the fabulous person you are. Don’t settle for less.

If you want to learn more about texting your ex back from a man’s perspective, you can click right here for details: Text Your Ex Back

I love to hear what guys think about this, don’t you?

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It Sucks Getting Pinched By Life

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Crying alone to sad songs by SnowWhiteLeigh 300x258 It Sucks Getting Pinched By LifeEven Snow White gets sad and depressed some days.

People close to me are really suffering right now.  This is a very tough thing for me to navigate.  I feel for them and I mean that.  I FEEL for them.  As a Snow White, the Rapunzels and Scarletts in my life come to me to vent.  I, manic to help those in need, have a hell of a time detaching from their pain and drama.

I am feeling out of sorts, sad, mad and helpless.  I can’t help them nor should I help them.  They are capable adults and they will figure it out.  But, when they tell me what is going on, it gets to me.  Then I turn and look at my own circumstances and fuck.

 Truth?  I am not in the most ideal situation at the moment.  I just went through a bad breakup, am recently divorced (yay) I am renting a small room in a small house and share bathroom privileges with two others.  I am under-employed (don’t you love that modern day version of underpaid) at a job I love, thank god I love what I do.

I owe my attorney thousands of dollars for her skills at getting me divorced relatively fairly.  It cost me dearly to be married to the wrong man.  Financially and emotionally tapped out.  Yes, I have a few of my own challenges.

It is amazing how contagious dejection and hopelessness are.  Holy shit.  Just because these two people, who I deeply care about, are feeling dejected and hopeless, why am I feeling that way too?

See, usually I am expert at keeping my eyes on the brightest spot in any situation.  It is my Snow White nature, I suppose, perpetually seeing the good in things.  Ironically, that very nature seems to annoy the shit out of above mentioned duo.  They so resist any feeble attempt at getting them to see the bright side!

Me?  My shit sucks as much as anyone’s and what is happening for me right now sucks.  But I won’t let it get to me, doggone it.  I am glad I am catching myself, though, up until now I let other people’s dejection and hopelessness stick to me like a burdock.  It hurts to have it in me and hurts to take it out.

I am able to choose how I want to be right now.  Choose to act as if.  Act as if what?

Act as if I didn’t even know them?  LOL, that doesn’t work.  I really do love Rapunzel and Scarlett….I just need to limit their venting (read complaining) when it gets overwhelming.  No, what if I acted as if all their problems were already solved?

Wouldn’t it be nice if their problems dissolved?  Snap out of it…they both would be complaining about something in the new situation in a New York minute.  Truth?  I get to choose how I want to FEEL and BE right now.

 I can distract myself, put my mind in a different place.  I get to choose what my mind thinks about.  What a concept.

 So what am I going to do with those burdocks?  I’m going to put on some gloves and pick them off myself.  I am going to steer clear of the path where they grow and walk it out knowing that life unfolds, things work out and no matter how sucky circumstances seem to get….the reality is things do get better.

 What do I do with my sadness for them and the anger I feel toward the dastardly dudes who are causing them so much pain?  Good question.  Writing this article is a great first step.  It really helped me figure out why I was feeling so off.

What if the perfect resolution for this already exists?  What if I can ask to be guided to it?  What if I remind myself of this every time I worry for them?  What if I could rely on my inner wisdom and that source within me to guide me?

It lifts my spirits just to write that.

Can you relate?  Thanks for hitting the share button!

Wonder about Your Sabotage Style?  Take the Love Sabotage Assessment and check it out for free:  TakeTheSoulmateQuiz.com

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How Did A Breakup Sneak Up On Me?

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Why do I feel stuck to you?

 

Does your breakup history stop love from finding you?  Is fear or anger toward one of your exes stuck in your mind?

Let’s face it. Once you have gotten through an ugly breakup from a man who started out like Prince Charming and ended up like Freddy Krueger, I don’t blame you for being scared shitless.Being with the wrong man is as hard as being single.

I married a man who I didn’t know near well  enough. He was a Meanie with a capital M and it was a long tough haul.

 It took me almost three years from the moment I realized that the love was gone  to find my way out.  Today, I celebrate July 4 with a FREEDOM holler that would make my Tennessee son proud of me.

 It is a long story and I will tell bits of it as I write about my breakup.  If you are anxious about relationships and fearful of trusting again you are in the right place.  Attracting the wrong kind of men is a SURE sign that a part of you is pushing true love away.

 There is a treasure in each breakup.

A part of your heart is opened up…whether you choose the breakup or he does…and that always gives you the chance to become more of your true self.  The core of you is naturally loveable.  A breakup cracks the shell and lets light into your true wants and needs when it comes to a partner.

Come walk along and I will show you how to get through your breakup history and clear the way for love to find you.

Me?  I am a happy single girl these days. I don’t know if I will go long term again.  There was so much I didn’t see in my last man that it scares me a bit.  In the meantime, I am dating younger men and that is delicious.  I am starting life over with a new job, a new home and a bright future…single.

Do I still believe in soul mates and true love?  Yes, but I also realize now that “soul mates” and “true love” don’t always end up where you thought they would.

I will be writing blog posts designed to give you some direction on your way.  I also am looking for breakup stories to use for the blog, names changed of course.  If you have a good story to share, please do.  If I pick your story, you will receive a 20 minute Love Readiness Reading to see how ready for your new partner you really are.

One thing I know for sure.  You are stronger than you think you are.  You can stretch without breaking and that there is something better out there.  You just might have to shovel through a lot of bullshit to find it!

It’s worth it!

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Can An Animal Be Your Soul Mate?

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Since retiring from coaching and starting my new position as Grief Counselor at a pet cemetery (yes, you read right!) , I am surrounded by more love than I ever saw in the soul mate business.

bigstock Devoted woman holding and comf 27198209 300x300 Can An Animal Be Your Soul Mate?
There’s nothing like the love of a dog.

The devotion of the pet owners who take the time, effort and expense to see that their beloved pets are given a proper send off is heartwarming and, to tell you the truth, more than a little humbling.

You see, during all the years I coached singles and tried to communicate how to attract true love, I could never accomplish what I hoped for. Yes, there are a couple of marriages, a few children and a small share of happily ever afters out there, and I am happy for those folks.

But the sad reality is that most of the beautiful people who read this column are still single, despite their efforts to find love.

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A man with a dog is still a chick magnet.

What I see now in my daily work with grieving pet owners is a love so pure, so priceless and at the same time heart wrenching. It is teaching me what unconditional love is all about. Every single mourning pet parent nods in tearful agreement when I mention these facts about the love of a pet:

  1. Pets are never disappointed in you.
  2. Pets are always happy when you come home and show their excitement.
  3. Pets never resent you for your mistakes.
  4. Pets never talk smack about you.
  5. Pets live completely in the moment and invite you to live there too.
  6. Pets don’t break promises.
  7. Pets never hold a grudge against you.
  8. Pets are good for your health. Petting animals lowers your blood pressure and stimulates calming brain chemicals that bring peace and relaxation.
  9. Pets “read your mind” by paying attention to your moods. Ever notice when you are sad that your pet picks up on it?
  10. Pets are with you every single day. Your human family and friends don’t see you every day…no matter how stress free your relationships.
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A truer friend cannot be found.

A friend of mine once kidded that her beloved horse, Jack, was probably her soul mate. She is a super youthful 50 something and never married was only half kidding. Can an animal be a soul mate?

What do you think? Please sound in with your comments!

Oh, BTW, I became ordained as a minister back in the day when one of my clients asked if I would officiate at her wedding (should that day come).

While I have yet to do a wedding, I am now conducting precious pet memorial services and funerals. It is deeply soul satisfying to help these loving and grieving pet moms and dads say goodbye to their furry and feathery children. Life sure has some crazy twists and turns, right?

One of the parts of my job that I love is running The Hug Club at San Diego Pet Memorial Park. It is our open Pet Loss Recovery Group. We meet every Saturday. We also have a special facebook page for sharing hope, healing and recovery ideas.

Thanks to the internet, we are connecting to pet lovers all over the world. If you want to be part of the mission, the best thing you can do is to share the inspiring and amusing you tube videos posted there.

Here is the link and thanks in advance for paying it forward on behalf of all the millions of people out there who have lost their pet soul mates. http://Facebook.com/SDPetPark

One last note. I adopted a dog myself this summer. As luck or fate would have it, I brought her home three weeks before my mom died this summer. Wise ones say that the right animal comes into your life at the right time.

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True Love Times Three!

One amazing fringe benefit is the amazing people and pet owners I meet when I am out walking my Bella. Will you meet your two legged soul mate if you have a dog? I don’t know but you sure might and besides, then you will have a BFF to keep you company in the meantime!

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This Tip is GUARANTEED to Win Your Man’s Affections

share save 171 16 This Tip is GUARANTEED to Win Your Mans Affections

I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

I know this will come as a real shock to you…..but….some men think they are always right!! This Tip is GUARANTEED to Win Your Mans Affections

I don’t know what it is…but there is something deep in the hearts of many men that will not let them admit that they don’t know everything.

Now we sweet female types…..we do see right through it…..and that makes your man work even harder to be right!

One of my clients was trying to tell her husband that he said NO to her for every thing she asked. Of course, he said ‘No, he didn’t’! She decided to put it to a test…and here is how it went….

She: Do you want to see a movie?
He: No

She: Do you want to go for a walk?
He: No

She: Can we talk for a few minutes?
He: No

She: Could you help me carry this box?
He: No

Finally….in total frustration she said to him…..

Do you want to have sex?

He said NO before he even thought about what she said!!

Needless to say….she finally got his attention. This couple got a big laugh out of this and that broke the tension…..but they still had work to do.

So….what can you do if your man insists that he is right about everything?

There is an AMAZING AND POWERFUL TOOL THAT RARELY FAILS….it is so powerful, not everyone can handle it…..

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE? I hope so because it could just change your relationship forever! Are you ready……..

AGREE WITH HIM…….you read correctly…..AGREE WITH HIM…..WHENEVER YOU CAN.

You may be in a pattern where you argue about big things and little things with the same passion. This is the perfect time to try this technique. There are so many things you don’t really need to be “right” about.

Look in the mirror and practice saying…..”You’re right about that.” It doesn’t hurt that bad…..I promise!!!

Telling him he is right about something will surprise him and while he is getting over the shock…..you say what you have to say.

For example…..

He says….”Your friend Darcy is always calling you during dinner.”
You say….”You’re right about that but she needs a friend.”

He says…..”But we need you too and I want to eat together as a family.”
You say….”You’re right, I can tell her I will call her back after dinner.”

If you can stop disagreeing about the small things……it won’t be long before you will be talking calmly about important things.

Dr. Wayne Dyer says “When you have a choice to be right or to be kind….always choose to be kind.”

It takes a strong person to live up to this…..and one strong person is often enough to start building a better relationship.

 Wonder if you are ready for love? http://TakeTheSoulMateQuiz.com right now….

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How To Get Over A Broken Heart

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I am taking some time off to explore the experience of losing my mom.  While I am away, I thought I’d share with you my top posts of all time. Whether you have read this particular post or not, I think you will find the content practical and helpful. I am excited to share it with you again!  Thanks for sending love and light to me and my seven brothers during this pivotal time.

The little boy lifted up his eyes holding the broken egg in his hands.

Big tears pooled in his brown eyes, “Now it will never be a chicken” he whispered. Big bigstock Still life With A Broken Egg 162296 300x200 How To Get Over A Broken Heartgnarled fingers reached down and tenderly took the cracked and leaking egg from the sweaty little hand.

“Can you fix it grandpa?” He looked up hopefully to the kind old man.

“No, this one is not going to make it, son,” he said gravely. “I know what to do.” He took the child’s hand in his own and picking up a shovel, turned to walk out to the garden. “If we bury the egg in the garden, a miracle will happen.”

The little boys big brown eyes widened. A miracle?

“How does that work, grandpa?”

“Nothing is wasted, everything has value. Some people see the broken shell and they cry. The Wise Ones taught us that brokenness is precious. They taught that what we DO with the brokenness is what is important.”

“But if the egg is broken, the dream is gone.” said the child with his head bowed.

The old farmer dug a small hole next to a young maple sapling. “You see, if we place the egg into the ground, it will feed the tree and the life of the chicken will be part of the tree.”

“Life is in everything,” he said, as he tamped the dirt around the sapling. “Imagine how the tree feels to be cared for by us and the egg that didn’t become a chicken.”

“It feels good to be loved.” said the child.

The old man reached down and stroked the child’s hair. “Yes, he said, it feels good to be loved.” He hoisted the shovel over his shoulder and holding the child’s hand, walked back toward the house.

Why is it so hard to say good bye to those past relationships that hold us back from finding new love? Isn’t the memory of a past hurt like that broken egg? Why do we hold on to things that have no more value, no more beauty…no more life?

No, you say, that thing that happened was WAY worse than a broken egg. Was it?

Sure you had your feelings hurt. There may have been betrayal and heartbreak. You may have thought you had found your soul mate. I don’t mean to belittle your relationship dramas and traumas. I know they hurt. But it is what you DO with what’s left that makes the difference.

Where can you bury YOUR empty shells? Finding someone who needs your help is a great way to start. There is nothing like volunteering to help someone less fortunate than you to snap you back to reality.

Instead of telling your story over and over and over again, make a plan. Vent if you must….for twenty minutes….no more. Then write one more final version of the drama and burn it, flush it or tear it into tiny pieces. Move on and move up to better feeling thoughts.

Was the child foolish to weep for the chicken that never would be? Aren’t you doing the same thing weeping for a relationship that just wasn’t meant to last? Be grateful that you were spared.

Appreciate that you split up, learn from the experience and move on. You deserve to be happy and it will happen as you CHOOSE to think thoughts that make you feel good. It really will.

Still searching for a soul mate?  Take The Soul Mate Quiz right away!

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