Do Men Read You As Unavailable? Ask Yourself 3 Questions

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 Do Men Read You As Unavailable? Ask Yourself 3 Questions

“You come across as an ice queen, you know.”

He said it to Jeanie so matter of factly it snapped her head back.

“What?” She whimpered back. She had just listed the faults of her latest ex and the horrible breakup to her newest friendly bartender and expected him to rush to her defense. The guy had cheated on her after all. Jeanie, a Rapunzel, is always in the middle of drama and trauma.

“When you talk about your breakup, you are cold as steel.”

“Why wouldn’t I be. He CHEATED!” She hissed back at him.

“Settle down”, he said in a much gentler tone, “Everyone gets hurt. Everyone is somebody’s Ex. I see the men look at you as you go on and on about how bad it is for you. They go out of the way to stay out of your way. You come across as super needy.”

Jeanie’s shoulders slumped. As pissed off as she was at the bartender who was giving her the same line all his brother drink servers had told her in the past, she knew what he said was the truth.

Do Men See You As Unavailable?

If you are living day to day guarding yourself against heartbreak or can’t get your ex out of your mind, you could be projecting an “I’m fragile and easily hurt, I just think I am available” image. Living careful is no way to live.

Not only that, the “I think I am available” image or vibe is amazingly efficient at keeping the “right” type of man out of your experience. How do I know this to be true?

Exactly, how many prospects with real potential have you dated in the last year? I rest my case!

If you think you might be sending out this anti love vibe when you think you are sending an “I know I am ready for a man to build a future with ” vibe, it is wise to ask a couple of key questions:

1. What is working in your life right now? Scan the major life areas, friendships, creativity, career, finances, health, family, romance and life purpose. Rank every area from 1 to 10. As hard as it is, you must wrestle with your mind and choose to focus on the parts of your life that are better than the others. It is your focus on what is working in your life that makes you seem warmer and more approachable.

2. What are the advantages of being single? You might not come up with many at first, but as you work at it, I bet you surprise yourself. Once your list is complete, go through each item and decide mindfully whether or not you are negotiable on it.

This self reflection may be just what the doctor ordered in helping you discover why you are still single. You are used to living alone and there may be some deal breakers that you need to undo.

3. If you still don’t see yourself as unapproachable, ask a close friend, coach or pastor to go through your list with you. Her view of your current state of affairs or lack of (sorry, couldn’t resist) may add extra dimension to your self exploration.

Putting It All Together

Once you unearth the parts of you ok with your singleness, you will have one of two outcomes. One, you may indeed embrace your singleness with new passion and just enjoy it or two, you will find yourself in the right place and the right time more often where you will meet men with real potential.

Talk about a win-win!

What if you could wash your Ex right out of your mind? Wishful thinking? No. The very best thing you can do is to detox your body and mind. Because of current brain research, you can now walk through your breakup healing with a step by step plan.

As I found out when I recovered from my divorce, there really is a bit of sweetness in every breakup. You are amazing and deserve to be free to try love again. Maybe The Breakup Cleanse: 28 Day Brain Body Detox is for you.  Click Right Here For Info

Curious how strong your love vibration is?  Click right here to schedule a Love Magnet Reading and I will tell help you understand why you are still single:

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10 Truths About Heartbreak And Recovery

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HiRes 150x150 10 Truths About Heartbreak And RecoveryStill looking for love and sick of the search?  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is the single fastest tool I have found to change your luck in love.

 Here are the 10 truths About Heartbreak And Recovery:

1. Past disappointments bury themselves deep in your heart.

2. New love wakes up old fears.

3. Old fears make you jealous, insecure and childish.

4. New love shrinks away from past pain.

5. One more crushing disappointment adds to the vicious cycle.

6. Only you have the power to put an end to your emotional pain.

6. EFT, energy tapping, is the easiest way to eliminate past disappointments for good.

7. You can do EFT at home, by yourself and that will remove your fears, doubts and insecurities about love.

8. Is it time to take action and get back out there? If you still cringe in any way when thinking of a lost love, the answer is no.

9. No matter how perfect your next guy is, eventually he will hurt your feelings and you will be right back into the love starved cycle you know so well.

10. You are the one who can break the pattern of heartbreak in your life. Once you are not anchored to all the past drama and trauma, you can finally attract someone who is a great match.

The evidence is easy to see.  Look at the last 5 men you dated…any prospects?  Or has it been years since you dated anyone?  Read through the truths one more time.

EFT not only helped me move on from abusive relationships in the past, I also used it when I was recovering from cancer and still use it today to keep my life running smoothly. Writing EFT scripts with people just like you is my favorite thing to do….I would love to help set you up for Soul Mate Success….check out a Free Love Magnet Reading and see if you are ready to shake off the old fears and negativity once and for all!  Click Here To Set Up Your Reading

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Best Breakup Cure Ever and A Secret

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bigstock Meeting 4831469 300x200 Best Breakup Cure Ever and A SecretWell, I have been keeping a secret from you.

Since I left my ex, just one year ago, I have been on a healing journey. Betrayed by his false promises and heart broken by his cruelty, I was pretty shell shocked.

I moved out of my home with my computer, my dog and my clothes, leaving everything else behind. Even though I was relieved to be out of his grip and out on my own, my self esteem and self concept were beaten to a pulp.

But something amazing happened.

Something I never saw coming.

A breakup cure that was so efficient, it washed that ex right out of my mind. Truth.

Here is what happened.

I met a much younger man who turned my world upside down with chemistry and knock your socks off sexual skills. This guy, who is not partner material in any way shape or form, opened me up to a world of orgasmic pleasure that has been incredibly healing for me.

I have known my share of bullies in life. I have been in relationship with them. Men who pushed and insisted on sex in such a way that forced me to compromise what was ok for me…over and over. My most recent ex had no sex drive at all and I spent many years limping along with Victor the Vibrator and erotica as my outlet.

When this guy came alone, he was clear with me about his intentions. Not the marrying kind and in it for pleasure only, he invited me to a NSA (No Strings Attached) arrangement that has been, in a word, delicious. I realize that some would judge this as inappropriate or even immoral. I would love to engage my readers in a conversation about that.

I am ready to go public because I have come such a long way in this year and I am feeling fabulous about myself and my self esteem and self concept are flying high. I have learned a lot about sex and pleasure. In fact, I have been writing about it for several months now. You see, once I realized what I have been missing all these years when it comes to sex, I started a blog all about it.

That is my secret. I am ready to share it with you. I am now writing erotica and reaching out to other lonely and sexually unappreciated women (and men) to add more pleasure and excitement to their sex lives.

Regular fabulous orgasms have been very healing for me. Being with a man who is simply a lover with no relationship attached has brought me to a whole new level of personal acceptance and joy in my body and my mind. Will I be in a partnership again one day? I am not so sure. I am having so much fun right now, I want to coast for while.

I would love to invite you over to Angel’s Fantasyland to check it out. Please feel free to leave a review on any story. My writers and I super appreciate your comments!

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How Strong Is Your Love Magnet?

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One year ago today, I walked away from the wrong man and never looked back.

I am making it on my own and having a very good time being single. It is no fun being with the wrong person. I have been second and third guessing myself. What did I miss? How did I not see? Loved ones tell me, don’t be so hard on yourself.

I know, but still. At the end of the day, I picked a dick. I thought he was the right man, it felt right. What went wrong?

I know now that my inner magnetism (my self worth and self esteem) were vibing way to low and I attracted someone with only a fraction of what I needed in a partner.

As happy as I am single, I know that you may very well not be. I respect you for that and I honor your desire to be with a guy. If you have strong longings to be in a couple, I support you 100%. I may be one day, though at the moment, I can’t imagine it. *wry smile*

I am celebrating new beginnings to night and I would love to share my hard earned wisdom with you in the form of a Love Magnet Reading. You spend 15 minutes with me and I will tell you how strong your inner Love Magnet is. There is no cost for this reading. I want to help as many people as I can to check in with their current love vibe.

You may be surprised to know that just because your MIND is telling you that you are ready to be in a couple right now, that doesn’t mean your love magnet is strong enough to bring in that quality of man.

Want to try? Just click this link and you will go directly to my calendar. Look for Love Magnet Reading. First come, first served. Spots will disappear fast.

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Only 114 Days til Christmas – Want Someone Special For The Holidays?

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My roomie and I volunteering at a singles event.


Some women are ready for love, some are not.  Some look forward to traveling during the holidays, some crave a man’s company so urgently that the holidays make them tense and afraid.

Me? I am celebrating today.  Last year at this time, I was planning a secret move.

 My ex did not know that on that fateful upcoming Wednesday when he left for golf it was the last time he would see me at home.  I hired two young guys to come and move my stuff out and left.  I was very scared that day.  Afraid that he would come home and make the whole thing more difficult than it already was.

It has been a tough year and a great year.  I moved three times in the first 6 months before I found my current fabulous arrangements.  I got rid of boxes of stuff that I didn’t have room for or need.  I had no residual heart break toward my ex.  Truth is, I had planning to get out since 2010.  It just took time to get my ducks in a row and be able to support myself on my own.  My parents also both passed away in the last 4 years.

Today I am an honest to goodness happy single lady.  I am divorced 4 months now and feel more comfortable writing about myself and my experiences being a happy divorcee and how I am navigating the world of dating online and off.  I do celebrate YOU because you are still here, reading my words and cheering me on.  Now that I am single with you, I really want to write heart to heart.

My roommates and I are all single and have very different agendas when it comes to dating and what we want from the next guy to come along.

I know that I am not ready for a committed relationship.  I am SO happy being free with no one to micro-manage me or dictate my choices that I can’t imagine meeting a man who I would give that precious freedom up for.  Ladies, you don’t want to be with the wrong man, that is for damn sure!

Maybe like you, my roommates are both ready for love and crave to be with someone special this Christmas.  Tired of the rat race of singleness, they want marriage and commitment.  We make an interesting household.  I know my Snow White nature confounds and intrigues my Rapunzel housemate and yet we are doing well in spite of differences.  I am very introverted and snuggle into my room like a nest after work to recharge.  She is a super outgoing California native who craves company when she has off time.

It has been good for us to talk about these things and work it out.  It saves all of us significant money to live together and we are all keenly aware of that.  It is a great blessing for me to live in a beautiful, secure and stable home.  The fact that there is a pool and two other dogs for mine to play with are sweet extras.

Meanwhile, it is fun to share singleness and dating online and off.  My roomie has been on over 20 dates first dates in the last year. (She deserves a medal!)   She uses Plenty of Fish and OKCupid.  I have also been on the online sites and we both have stories to tell!  The fact is you have to have a sense of humor and a lot of stamina to go through the mill of online dating.  I’ll be sharing our experiences here so stay tuned.

How about you?  

  1. Do you wonder if you are ready for love?  
  2. Are you worried that your fears about being cheated on are ruining your chances for love?  
  3. Do you keep meeting the wrong kinds of men?
  4. Do you hate dating?  
  5. Do you wish more than anything that you could spend Christmas with someone special this year?

If you answered YES to any of these questions, let’s get you some answers.  I am so humbly grateful to the supporters I had along the way who helped me believe in myself when my self concept was at an all time low just a few short years ago.  If you think that there is something inside that is blocking you from finding the right person, make today the day you find out what is going on.

I have opened my schedule and am doing FREE Love Magnet Readings to make it possible for you to get a true read for where you are right now when it comes to radiating the “I am available and ready for love” vibe that your next partner is searching for.

Let me repeat that.  There is someone out there looking for who you are.  The you that is underneath all the heartbreak and drama.  I have been to many singles dances and meet men all the time that are looking for the right woman.  If you get very focused, you can build a confident vibe that says, “Bring it on, I am ready for love.”

Here’s a test.  Stand in front of the mirror.  Look yourself in the eye and say, “I am 100% emotionally available for a partner right now. A man could move into my bedroom tomorrow.”  If you can say that and mean it.  Good for you.  But, if the words stick in your throat, click this link and schedule yourself into my calendar for a Free Love Magnet Reading.  Let’s get you a date for New Years Eve:  Talk To Catherine


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Shake Up That Breakup: 3 Steps for Moving On

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Last week I was doing a reading for Lola (not her real name.)

She swore to me that she was ready for true love and that she was frustrated to tears at the lack of decent men to choose from. “All the great men are either married, gay or both. I am tired of looking.”

“How long since your last significant relationship.” I asked.

“It has been 9 months and I am better off without him,” she returned stirring her mocha latte. “And I still miss him and think about him all the time and I hate this but if he came back to me, I would give him another chance.”

I waited.

“What do you really want? I asked her softly.

She took a deep breath and looked off into the distance. “You know, I’m not sure. Part of me wants him so much.”

“And..” I encouraged.

“And I know he is living with that other girl and he is moving on.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“What do you really want?” I repeated softly, handing her a kleenex.

Several minutes went by as I let her think about this very important question.

“I guess I don’t know.” Lola said at last.

“Good for you!” I exclaimed. “Now we are getting somewhere.”

Lola is like many of the brokenhearted breakup victims who contact me every week. I wonder if you can relate. As much as she hungers for true love, a part of her is stuck in the past….hung up on an ex.

When I read for people, I give them a snapshot of their love readiness. And what is that? When someone is truly ready for love, she exudes a confidence and availability that is tangible. If you are not ready for love (in spite of what you say and think) then you radiate fear, disappointment and pain.

Believe me…you DO NOT want to be with a man who is attracted to the invisible but very real fear and disappointment you may not even know you are radiating.

A reading is the fastest way to discover where you are on the readiness scale but if you don’t have time for that right now, here are three steps you can take to start to clear the fear of disappointment from your energy field:

1. First write all the things that disappointed you in your last relationship. Take two or three days to do this. Be real with yourself. How did that partner let you down? What did you long for when you were with him?

2. Next start a new list taking each item from above and creating an opposite. For example:

He was always late turns into He is always on time.

He didn’t kiss me unless I kissed him first turns into He loves to kiss me and takes his time to kiss me right.

He didn’t like to go hiking turns into He likes to hike and do outdoor activities with me.

He forgot my birthday turns into He remembers special occasions and treats me sweetly and gives me gifts.

3. Making this new list is a powerful way to change the vibration around your desires when it comes to a partner. You are taking responsibility for what you want. Building your wants and desires from the very disappointments of the past will arm you with positivity and fear of disappointment will fade.

I know it is hard being single again and you didn’t want this. One day I promise you you will look back and be grateful that he left and you moved on to a better match. Spend time working on what you really, really want and it will pay off for you. And if you decide you want a reading…shoot me a message: 

Retrain your brain to NOT obsess over your ex. Check out The Breakup Cleanse


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Want to Give Your Ex a 2nd Chance? 5 Things You Must Know

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Have you ever broken up, reunited and then broken if off a second and maybe more painful time later? Why do we keep going back?

I’ve watched people go through their partnerships in a never ending spiral of complication. Pain, drama then more pain and drama. Each woman breaks up differently.If you can’t get over a breakup. If you can’t move on no matter how hard you try…you have to take a good hard look at this guy. (Forgive me guys, nothing personal, it’s just that more women read my blog)

If there is one chance in a 100 that it isn’t truly over, heck if there is one chance in a thousand, it is still worth another look. No one can crawl into your mind and see what you see when you think of him.

Your friends may have heard you describe his flaws and screw ups(he is a man after all) and they don’t understand why you want him back. That’s understandable. But if you have warm memories of times together and you see yourself with him, then maybe there is a chance that others cannot see.

What I know for sure is that taking action, is a self loving gesture. If you sit and suffer in loneliness and loss you are not ever going to break out and move on.

If you have thought it through long and hard and still want him back, then I say go for it. Make an action plan and win him back if you can. Especially in the first 3 to 6 months. Bring your best friend into it with you for moral support and take action.

Here are 5 things that you MUST remember though if you want your ex back.

1. You must remember that you want to know the truth. Is being with each other in one another’s highest good? You may believe that with all your heart but if he isn’t into you like that, you have to be ready to face the truth.

2. You must remember that this is not about manipulating something or someone. You are giving your ex the opportunity to see you in a different light and to revisit the possibilities if he wants to. (See number 1)

3. You must remember that if he does reconnect with you, keep doing what worked to fascinate him again. If you captured his attention and he is talking to you again, it is time to explore what you have in common and nurture that.

4. You must be ready to say goodbye…for real. Some exes are better off being exes and darlin’ if he is not that into you, it is the very best thing for you to let him go. You are a catch, girl, and there is a man out there with your name ringing in his heart.

5. You must remember that you are a powerful woman. You have been through a lot of drama and trauma and you have survived it all. I do hope that your ex wants to try again, but only if he treats you like the fabulous person you are. Don’t settle for less.

If you want to learn more about texting your ex back from a man’s perspective, you can click right here for details: Text Your Ex Back

I love to hear what guys think about this, don’t you?

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It Sucks Getting Pinched By Life

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Crying alone to sad songs by SnowWhiteLeigh 300x258 It Sucks Getting Pinched By LifeEven Snow White gets sad and depressed some days.

People close to me are really suffering right now.  This is a very tough thing for me to navigate.  I feel for them and I mean that.  I FEEL for them.  As a Snow White, the Rapunzels and Scarletts in my life come to me to vent.  I, manic to help those in need, have a hell of a time detaching from their pain and drama.

I am feeling out of sorts, sad, mad and helpless.  I can’t help them nor should I help them.  They are capable adults and they will figure it out.  But, when they tell me what is going on, it gets to me.  Then I turn and look at my own circumstances and fuck.

 Truth?  I am not in the most ideal situation at the moment.  I just went through a bad breakup, am recently divorced (yay) I am renting a small room in a small house and share bathroom privileges with two others.  I am under-employed (don’t you love that modern day version of underpaid) at a job I love, thank god I love what I do.

I owe my attorney thousands of dollars for her skills at getting me divorced relatively fairly.  It cost me dearly to be married to the wrong man.  Financially and emotionally tapped out.  Yes, I have a few of my own challenges.

It is amazing how contagious dejection and hopelessness are.  Holy shit.  Just because these two people, who I deeply care about, are feeling dejected and hopeless, why am I feeling that way too?

See, usually I am expert at keeping my eyes on the brightest spot in any situation.  It is my Snow White nature, I suppose, perpetually seeing the good in things.  Ironically, that very nature seems to annoy the shit out of above mentioned duo.  They so resist any feeble attempt at getting them to see the bright side!

Me?  My shit sucks as much as anyone’s and what is happening for me right now sucks.  But I won’t let it get to me, doggone it.  I am glad I am catching myself, though, up until now I let other people’s dejection and hopelessness stick to me like a burdock.  It hurts to have it in me and hurts to take it out.

I am able to choose how I want to be right now.  Choose to act as if.  Act as if what?

Act as if I didn’t even know them?  LOL, that doesn’t work.  I really do love Rapunzel and Scarlett….I just need to limit their venting (read complaining) when it gets overwhelming.  No, what if I acted as if all their problems were already solved?

Wouldn’t it be nice if their problems dissolved?  Snap out of it…they both would be complaining about something in the new situation in a New York minute.  Truth?  I get to choose how I want to FEEL and BE right now.

 I can distract myself, put my mind in a different place.  I get to choose what my mind thinks about.  What a concept.

 So what am I going to do with those burdocks?  I’m going to put on some gloves and pick them off myself.  I am going to steer clear of the path where they grow and walk it out knowing that life unfolds, things work out and no matter how sucky circumstances seem to get….the reality is things do get better.

 What do I do with my sadness for them and the anger I feel toward the dastardly dudes who are causing them so much pain?  Good question.  Writing this article is a great first step.  It really helped me figure out why I was feeling so off.

What if the perfect resolution for this already exists?  What if I can ask to be guided to it?  What if I remind myself of this every time I worry for them?  What if I could rely on my inner wisdom and that source within me to guide me?

It lifts my spirits just to write that.

Can you relate?  Thanks for hitting the share button!

Wonder about Your Sabotage Style?  Take the Love Sabotage Assessment and check it out for free:

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How Did A Breakup Sneak Up On Me?

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Why do I feel stuck to you?


Does your breakup history stop love from finding you?  Is fear or anger toward one of your exes stuck in your mind?

Let’s face it. Once you have gotten through an ugly breakup from a man who started out like Prince Charming and ended up like Freddy Krueger, I don’t blame you for being scared shitless.Being with the wrong man is as hard as being single.

I married a man who I didn’t know near well  enough. He was a Meanie with a capital M and it was a long tough haul.

 It took me almost three years from the moment I realized that the love was gone  to find my way out.  Today, I celebrate July 4 with a FREEDOM holler that would make my Tennessee son proud of me.

 It is a long story and I will tell bits of it as I write about my breakup.  If you are anxious about relationships and fearful of trusting again you are in the right place.  Attracting the wrong kind of men is a SURE sign that a part of you is pushing true love away.

 There is a treasure in each breakup.

A part of your heart is opened up…whether you choose the breakup or he does…and that always gives you the chance to become more of your true self.  The core of you is naturally loveable.  A breakup cracks the shell and lets light into your true wants and needs when it comes to a partner.

Come walk along and I will show you how to get through your breakup history and clear the way for love to find you.

Me?  I am a happy single girl these days. I don’t know if I will go long term again.  There was so much I didn’t see in my last man that it scares me a bit.  In the meantime, I am dating younger men and that is delicious.  I am starting life over with a new job, a new home and a bright future…single.

Do I still believe in soul mates and true love?  Yes, but I also realize now that “soul mates” and “true love” don’t always end up where you thought they would.

I will be writing blog posts designed to give you some direction on your way.  I also am looking for breakup stories to use for the blog, names changed of course.  If you have a good story to share, please do.  If I pick your story, you will receive a 20 minute Love Readiness Reading to see how ready for your new partner you really are.

One thing I know for sure.  You are stronger than you think you are.  You can stretch without breaking and that there is something better out there.  You just might have to shovel through a lot of bullshit to find it!

It’s worth it!

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