Last week I was doing a reading for Lola (not her real name.)
She swore to me that she was ready for true love and that she was frustrated to tears at the lack of decent men to choose from. “All the great men are either married, gay or both. I am tired of looking.”
“How long since your last significant relationship.” I asked.
“It has been 9 months and I am better off without him,” she returned stirring her mocha latte. “And I still miss him and think about him all the time and I hate this but if he came back to me, I would give him another chance.”
“What do you really want? I asked her softly.
She took a deep breath and looked off into the distance. “You know, I’m not sure. Part of me wants him so much.”
“And..” I encouraged.
“And I know he is living with that other girl and he is moving on.” A tear rolled down her cheek.
“What do you really want?” I repeated softly, handing her a kleenex.
Several minutes went by as I let her think about this very important question.
“I guess I don’t know.” Lola said at last.
“Good for you!” I exclaimed. “Now we are getting somewhere.”
Lola is like many of the brokenhearted breakup victims who contact me every week. I wonder if you can relate. As much as she hungers for true love, a part of her is stuck in the past….hung up on an ex.
When I read for people, I give them a snapshot of their love readiness. And what is that? When someone is truly ready for love, she exudes a confidence and availability that is tangible. If you are not ready for love (in spite of what you say and think) then you radiate fear, disappointment and pain.
Believe me…you DO NOT want to be with a man who is attracted to the invisible but very real fear and disappointment you may not even know you are radiating.
A reading is the fastest way to discover where you are on the readiness scale but if you don’t have time for that right now, here are three steps you can take to start to clear the fear of disappointment from your energy field:
1. First write all the things that disappointed you in your last relationship. Take two or three days to do this. Be real with yourself. How did that partner let you down? What did you long for when you were with him?
2. Next start a new list taking each item from above and creating an opposite. For example:
He was always late turns into He is always on time.
He didn’t kiss me unless I kissed him first turns into He loves to kiss me and takes his time to kiss me right.
He didn’t like to go hiking turns into He likes to hike and do outdoor activities with me.
He forgot my birthday turns into He remembers special occasions and treats me sweetly and gives me gifts.
3. Making this new list is a powerful way to change the vibration around your desires when it comes to a partner. You are taking responsibility for what you want. Building your wants and desires from the very disappointments of the past will arm you with positivity and fear of disappointment will fade.
I know it is hard being single again and you didn’t want this. One day I promise you you will look back and be grateful that he left and you moved on to a better match. Spend time working on what you really, really want and it will pay off for you. And if you decide you want a reading…shoot me a message: