If you look up “Self-Sabotage” in the dictionary…..Is your picture there?

Have you been disappointed in love so many times that you feel like the Poster Child for Hooked on Losers Anonymous?

Stop!  This train is going nowhere fast.

We all sabotage ourselves when it comes to Love.  Even I do, and I KNOW what tricks my Saboteur uses. Even though I know that I know that I can attract Larry’s highest and best self like magic when I want to, I still choose to close myself off to him when I feel hurt.

My personal challenge is to keep a foot in the door of my heart so that I never go back to the isolation that was comfortable for me for so many years.  I continue to be my own Best Client and use my own tools to keep my Love Vibe high and humming!

How do you know if your Saboteur is wreaking havoc in your Soul Mate Attraction Plan? Here are 5 sure signs that self-sabotage is flying under the radar of your Love Life:

1.  Super High Achievement and Success in Business, Career and Philanthropy: Highly successful women are goal focused go getters.  If anything, the lack of love has fed their highly charged passion for success.  These women have zero time to focus on love and their careers fill in the gaps.  Time has slipped by for these women and many are dismayed to find themselves still single in their 40s.

2.  Passionate Relationships With Animals What, you say?  How could my love for my horse, dog, parakeet or cat be in the way of Love?  Animals are one of the sweet treasures of life and my own Personal Comfort Animals (Thank You Boston Legal for this great term) Jade and Bunny are a blessing to me, BUT, and this is a big but…if you aren’t careful, you can build a soul mate relationship with your four legged friend that steals your time from finding True Love.

3.  Thinking You Need To Change Something Before You Find Love.  Do you think you need to lose weight, get out of debt, move to a new city or find a new job before the “timing is right” for manifesting your Soul Mate?  This is an old Saboteur trick and works like a charm.  You see, there will always be some hurdle to overcome before you ‘qualify’ in your own eyes to prioritize a Soul Mate Attraction Plan.

4.  Setting Frivolous Deal Breakers In Your Soul Mate Search. Now, violence of any kind, alcoholism, drug addiction….all are deal breakers we can all agree on, but, and this is almost as big of a but as the last one….I hear the most self defeating list of deal breakers from my clients that you can imagine.  There are some great men out there…kind, gentle, giving men who are aching to pour their Love into a woman’s heart. Many lonely women are not even looking in their direction because of self defeating deal-breakers they have set their hearts on.  Some include, height (vertically challenged), hair (follicly challenged) and athleticism.  Believe it or not, even vegetarianism, smoking, drinking and sleep patterns can all dictate a deal breaker mentality that may not be serving you.  Something to think about….

5. Constant Inner Chatter that it could be Too Late and/or that there is No Body Out There For You.  The mind is certainly the Saboteur’s Playground.  You may have a regret or two, you may wish that you could reconnect to a lost love…welcome to the club.  There were good things in even the rockiest of relationships and these sparkling spots can blind you to the fact that there was a very good reason that relationship ended.  If you are passionate and committed to find a partner and you will not stop until you find him, you can overcome any obstacle.   Learning to control your thoughts and build confidence in your adorable self instead of constantly thinking about your singleness or your past is the goal.

So, has Self-Sabotage been showing up in your life? Are you ready to take a stand for Love and put your Law of Attraction skills on the fast track?  Fab!   I am going to share Three Bonus Love Breakthrough Secrets Critical Decisions you must make if Love is going to find your Heart in a gift recording just for reading this post!

I will also be introducing you to the Four Saboteurs and giving hints on how to recognize which style is yours and how you can enlist her help so she is working For you instead of against you.

You can register right here for your free audio:  http://forms.aweber.com/form/67/818546867.htm

PS  One last form of self sabotage that is common among all of the four saboteur styles? It is called the “I Already Know All That Syndrome.”  If you feel yourself saying these words, here is a thought for you…
“What would I have to get from this call to make it worth an hour of my time.”  Your Saboteur will LOVE this question.

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

“My younger sister is engaged.” The email somberly reported.  “Could we book a session?  I am a mess.”

Why is it the lack of a ring on your finger can cause so much pain? Carole (not her real name) choked out her feelings.  “She is 9 years younger than me.  9.  Josh is crazy about her and he is so romantic it makes me sick.  My throat gets as tight as a knot.  Then I feel horrible.  I LOVE my sister.  I don’t want to feel like this but I can’t help it.  It should be me.  How can she get married first?”

Her story turned into sobs.  I sat silently on the phone and listened.  Like a spring storm, the sobbing subsided and blowing her nose, she sighed.  “What if it never happens for me?  What if I am a lonely bitter old woman with 100 cats?  I can’t stand it…..and now I am going to have to be in HER wedding.”  Sobs reignited….

**************

Slowly but surely Carole and I turned the flow of her thoughts back into a better place and she recommitted to her own personal love attraction plan.  There is no question that the engagement of a younger sibling, brother or sister, is a painful thing for the long time single woman.

That naked left ring finger makes a public spectacle out of itself. There it is…out there for everyone to see….LOSER.   It takes a mighty strong woman to see this in herself, this branding from the lack of a ring.  It takes an even more magical woman to make the decision to do something about it.

Oprah and Goldie Hawn come to mind.  Two mega successful, beautiful, vibrant, talented and influential women who have naked left ring fingers.  What is it that separates them from other women who let frustration about their relationship status steal their happiness?

Can you control if you are single? Obviously not or you wouldn’t be reading this article.  Can you control how much LOVE is in your life?  Absolutely.  THAT I can teach you.

I run my ideas by my husband (soon we will be celebrating our 5th anniversary back in Hawaii where we tied the knot…*sigh*) because, not being a guy, I just want to make sure that my theories make sense.  He is 100% in agreement on this particular Soul Mate Attraction Secret:

There is nothing more attractive than a happy, confident woman. Men cannot resist a genuine smile….the one that comes from deep inside.  That kind of smile works like magic.  Can you control how much true happiness is behind your smile?  Absolutely, I can teach you that too.

You are one tough cookie.  You have been on your own most of your life and you can take care of business.  If you are the women who contact me, you are also pretty darn tired of doing life by yourself.   Sound familiar?

I am hosting a second preview call this Thursday night, September 2, where I am going to share 3 Bonus Love Breakthrough Secrets and the Two Critical Decisions You Must Make if You Want To END Your Singleness For Good and I would love to have you on the call.

Some of you may have heard the first 5 Love Breakthrough Secrets class already, this class will be all new material.  If you want to be a part of a couple within the next 6 months, don’t miss it.

With these 3 secrets and 2 decisions added to your bag of tricks, can True Love be far behind?

You can register for the teleseminar right here:

See you there! Oh, and feel free to tweet all about this call to any friends who crave that ring on their own left finger!

One of these four characters holds the key to your Soul Mate Destiny.If you are still single and not happy about it, take the time to skim this info.  You are manifesting a single life…like it or not, that is the truth of the matter. The part of you that is making sure you stay single is your Inner Saboteur.

Ironically, your Saboteur thinks that the risk of New Love is way more painful than being alone. What does that mean?  You either undermine every potential relationship before it has a chance to grow or you abandon the relationship before he abandons you.

So why Snow White, Rapunzel, Scarlett and Sleeping Beauty? There are four Saboteur styles and I categorize them with imaginary characters to personalize them a bit.  This is not an evil force living inside you heart breaking your heart at every turn (even though it feels like that a lot of the time.)

No, this is a sensitive and caring part of you who just wants exactly what you want….TO BE LOVED AND FEEL HAPPY. That’s it.  Your Saboteur can be won over and recruited to help you attract True Love.  Wouldn’t it be nice if your path to love was easier and more fun?

Once you know your Saboteur style, you can make a Soul Mate Attraction Plan with some real teeth. Each style has it’s own preferences and strengths.  Heck, she has been manifesting your singleness all these years and KNOWS how to get what she wants. Convince her to work with you instead of against you and some real magic will happen.

You have a strong inner concept of life as a single….it is all you have known for years. What if your very self sabotage habits could lead to True Love? Just click the link at the bottom of this post and you will have instant mp3 download in your hands.

Curious?  This teleseminar will teach you about the Four Saboteur Styles, how you can recognize which you might be and how to convince your Saboteur that you really don’t want to be single anymore.

It happened for me and I am sharing the tools I discovered on my way so you can attract True Love once and for all.

“How to Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed: 5 Love Breakthrough Secrets From a Happily Married Wife
with Catherine Behan
To get your recording, click here:

http://forms.aweber.com/form/23/1738063923.htm

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous

Gina never makes it past the second date.  Megan brags that she abandons him before he can abandon her.  Terri hasn't had even an insignificant relationship in years.

What is going on?  Each of these women is beautiful, talented and powerful in certain parts of their lives.  Even though professionally they are admired for their achievements and leadership, when it comes to the choices they make in pursuit of True Love, you'd never know it.

This is where the Frozen Heart comes in.  When it comes to love, there is a part of your heart that refuses to be seen.  That hidden piece of your history is being guarded very well by your Inner Saboteur.  Some where you hold a belief that Love is disappointing, exquisitely painful and ultimately not worth it.  "Not me!" You might be thinking. "I am 100% sure I want to be married."  Really…I don't think so…

How do I know?

Is there a ring on your finger?

Your Inner Saboteur has one purpose.  She must keep your beliefs intact.  Especially beliefs about your safety and well-being.   With a part of your heart still frozen in time, believing that Love is painful, Your Saboteur believes she is protecting you by keeping that pain out of your view.  What does that have do to your Love life, or lack of?

The Inner Saboteur is running the show and you are the only one who can convince her to share the stage.  She is a Master Time Vampire.  She keeps you distracted and focused on mediocrity while time races right past you.  Check it out.  Exactly how long has it been since you have been head over heels in Love?

How do you know if your Inner Love Saboteur is activated?  Here are 5 signs to watch for:

1.  Procrastination.  No matter what your preferred style of sabotage, procrastination is always a major player.  A vicious cycle of perfectionism, unproductive busy-ness and poor planning result in a kind of quick sand.  You are pulled continually into a wasteland of excuses and inertia.  There is often a lot of self criticism that appears here and nothing drains your vibe like that inner critic.

2.  Distraction. Similar to procrastination but this one is more entertaining.  You know, you start one task in the kitchen and on your way to throw a load of laundry in, you notice the mail man is coming.  He is really friendly so you pop out to say hi and get the mail.  Then you remember you haven't checked your email.  Then it is noon.  You get the idea.  It is said that Distraction is the number one obstacle in manifesting your dreams.

3.  Complaining.  A sure sign that your Love Saboteur is up and around.  Finding fault with other people, places and circumstances is one of her favorite activities.  Gossiping about the missteps of others can be entertaining.  Maybe you feel better after telling someone else's sad story.  Go on a Complaint Fast.  Choose to stop complaining for one week.  Practice catching yourself and just stop. If you can't say it in front of the person, just choose not to say it.  Practice Lovingness.

4. Indecisiveness.  This is the most common sign of sabotage among the singles I talk to.  99% of them are completely undecided when it comes to what they want from a soul mate.  Try it:  "Do you want to be married?"  Did you say some form of:  "Not necessarily, I mean, you know, if it ends up like that, I don't mind, but I don't really need marriage."  This constant fudging about what you really want will ultimately put your manifesting into total stall zone.

5. Social Awkwardness or Anxiety  Many times, the part of the heart that is frozen is adolescent.  It breaks my heart to hear the stories of heartbreak in 6th through 12th grade.  Adult women, beautiful accomplished women, melt into little girls as they tell me the tale.  If you get overly shy or withdraw in social situations or under stress, The Saboteur goes into overdrive to protect you.  Just stepping outside and getting a breath of fresh air can be a life saver.  Simply remind yourself of another role in your life that reflects one of your strengths.  You can snap yourself out of it if you catch it early enough.

So what do you do?  First of all, don't freak out!  Your Saboteur looks at herself as a super-hero.  She believes she is saving the day.  I have a picture of Cat Woman as my Facebook Avatar to remind me not to be too hard on that part of myself that indulges in sabotage.

Remember, Your Saboteur wants the same thing you do….to be loved and feel happy.  If you convince her that you want to take a risk on love again, you will have a powerful ally to help you manifest the Love of your Life.

How do I know this?  Think about it.  This part of you, Your Inner Saboteur, is an amazing manifester.  She has manifested singleness…overcoming all odds to make it happen.  She is brilliant and not only is completely under-appreciated, she is blamed for the unhappiness that is resulting.

Food for thought, no?

What would be possible for you if self sabotage was a thing of the past?
                                               ♥♥♥♥♥

Curious? Check out the upcoming Complimentary Teleseminar:  How To Get The Perfect Man Into Your Bed: http://www.attractyoursoulmatenow.com/blog/how-to-get-the-perfect-man-into-yo…

Posted via email from catherine’s posterous